posted by
NCommander
on Tuesday April 01 2014, @02:50AM
from the I-for-one-welcome-our-new-muffiny-overlords dept.
from the I-for-one-welcome-our-new-muffiny-overlords dept.
Effectively immediately, the corn muffin in the staff refrigerator has succeeded in getting NCommander to sell out for the mindbogging huge sum of one million Vietnamese Dong. Deciding that allowing the community to decide on issues is stupid, our new muffiny overlord has renamed the site "SoylentMuffins". The muffin has been quoted that it plans to change the world, and while a manifesto is yet to be written, it unveiled its new slogan of "SoylentMuffins are made from people!", and that it hopes the community follows, in its own words, "ridding the planet of the human race".
I for one am excited to follow such a visionary pastry in its attempt at world domination!
The Bacon Eaters of ## were unavailable to comment at this time on this shocking turn of events , but we'll update this story once we've heard from them.
I for one am excited to follow such a visionary pastry in its attempt at world domination!
The Bacon Eaters of ## were unavailable to comment at this time on this shocking turn of events , but we'll update this story once we've heard from them.
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We Sold Out: SoylentNews Is Now SoylentMuffins!
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The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
(Score: 2, Funny) by Blackmoore on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:03AM
*slow clap*
(Score: 3, Insightful) by mattie_p on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:06AM
bacon++
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:08AM
Lame
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:47AM
I concur.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 01 2014, @06:35AM
Yeah, I honestly would have expected better from a nerd news site... I mean, they didn't even try. Could have at least tried.
(Score: 4, Funny) by Open4D on Tuesday April 01 2014, @08:48AM
Open4D writes:
The Wall Street Journal [wsj.com] reports that Dice Corp has completed its purchase of Soylent News.
In joyous scenes, the Soylent News community welcomed the buyout, along with the news that the co-owners, known on site as "Barbarous" and "NDictator" were still
good friends:
When asked how they'll maintain community loyalty in the face these changes, they answered:
(Score: 1) by Horse With Stripes on Tuesday April 01 2014, @10:59AM
(Score: 1) by khchung on Tuesday April 01 2014, @12:41PM
Please just STOP these April Fools stories, lame or not.
With the other site's US focus, one can hardly complain. But if Soylent would rather not have the same US-centric focus, then maybe Soylent should understand that not every country make a big deal out of April Fools' day.
It is downright annoying to have the news site you frequent to become totally worthless for a whole day every year due to it being totally filled with fake news that pretend to be funny.
Instead of trying to see which ones are fake and which ones are real, I just skip the site for one day every year. If Soylent follows this tradition, then I just also skip Soylent for the same day.
(Score: 4, Interesting) by NCommander on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:08AM
It turns out the graphics guy wasn't affected by the mind co^W^Wvision of the new muffin stating something to the effect that "ain't going to follow no stinking muffin.". The muffin responded that the graphics guy is a "gluten intolerant sack of meat", and has offered a spot in his cabinet to anyone wanting to donate a new logo.
Still always moving
(Score: 1) by bryan on Tuesday April 01 2014, @07:17AM
Skip to 2:00 when Betty comes on: http://vimeo.com/24423906 [vimeo.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:12AM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Muffin_Tops [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 2) by captain normal on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:25AM
I for one welcome our new muffin overlord.
When life isn't going right, go left.
(Score: 1) by Horse With Stripes on Tuesday April 01 2014, @11:01AM
I do believe you mean our new muffin top.
(Score: 3) by Tork on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:28AM
🏳️🌈 Proud Ally 🏳️🌈
(Score: 1) by Hartree on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:39AM
Always the best Plan B. Muffins!
Fa'Lina, and SAIA approved. A pink poodle with wings can't be wrong.
(We'll see if anyone follows the comic www.missmab.com :)
(Score: 4, Funny) by Buck Feta on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:48AM
(not that there's anything wrong with that)
- fractious political commentary goes here -
(Score: 3, Funny) by naubol on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:50AM
Hmm, I love the dong, too. But, seriously, Soylent Dong? *shiver*
(Score: 1) by Konomi on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:57AM
One million dongs at that, I will say no more.
(Score: 2) by NCommander on Tuesday April 01 2014, @03:57AM
I should have asked for Mexican Pesos ...
Still always moving
(Score: 2, Funny) by mrclisdue on Tuesday April 01 2014, @06:28AM
(not that there's anything wrong with that)
No, there's muffin wrong with that.
(Score: 2, Funny) by EvilSS on Tuesday April 01 2014, @04:20AM
...think to beta test this first?
*ducks*
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 02 2014, @03:18AM
betas are for sissies and /.
(Score: 1, Troll) by zim on Tuesday April 01 2014, @04:52AM
And i take the day off, turn off all electronics, and sleep for about 20 hours.
Wake up tomorrow and see which stupid things fooled the most people.
Wouldn't be so bad if most of them were actually funny... but no. the bar is set too damm low.
'dur, i did something stupid! april fool! ha!'
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 01 2014, @05:39AM
You must be the life of the party!
(Score: 2) by rts008 on Tuesday April 01 2014, @08:17AM
You should have stuck with your plan, troll.
Back under the bridge with you, or I will throw muffins at you!
(Score: 1) by Drew617 on Tuesday April 01 2014, @12:03PM
OMG! Muffins!
(Score: 2) by aristarchus on Tuesday April 01 2014, @06:01AM
I, for one, welcome our new muffin overlords!
But seriously, how could a muffin possibly be an overlord? Maybe an under-stuffing, if you know what I mean. The whole thing is ludicrous, BECAUSE it is no YET april FIRST in my time zone. So thanks for my wasted fealty. (Sob!!)
(Score: 2) by NCommander on Tuesday April 01 2014, @06:38AM
We use UTC for site time and news.
Still always moving
(Score: 2) by aristarchus on Tuesday April 01 2014, @07:17AM
YEAH, OK, so we will let your Anglo-imperialist time system prevail for a short time longer. But wait until the Doctor hears of this! (He is a Time Lord, after all, responsible for time, and stuff.)
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 01 2014, @11:06AM
Do you know the muffin mare?
The muffin mare, the muffin mare
Do you know the muffin mare
The one named Derpy Hooves?
(Score: 2) by wonkey_monkey on Tuesday April 01 2014, @08:04AM
Well, you've "got it" better than Slashdot ever did, but an April Fool should be at least momentarily believable, and should preferably arouse fear and/or rage in the reader.
If there's not at least a 10% doubt over which of the stories is the fake one, you're doing it wrong.
systemd is Roko's Basilisk
(Score: 2) by NCommander on Tuesday April 01 2014, @08:12AM
There may be something like this in the queue like that :-). This was just a way to have a bit of fun from the stress of running this site, and perhaps get a laugh or two out of people. I don't personally love trying to figure out which stories are real or fake.
Still always moving
(Score: 2) by aristarchus on Tuesday April 01 2014, @09:53AM
Wait, you are saying this is not an authentic news post? AFTER i PLEDGED MY FEALTY??? Oh, darn. How am I going to explain this to my previous overlords? They will not take it kindly that I threw them off so lightly, especially for muffin overlords! I am going to blame N_commander, because of the the dong thing. My only way out that I a can see. Sorry, all.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Tuesday April 01 2014, @11:53AM
"the mindbogging huge sum of one million ... Dong."
This is some kind of chat roulette meme, isn't it? Although the number seems kind of low.
(Score: 1) by CoolHand on Tuesday April 01 2014, @11:54AM
...welcome our new muffin-y overlords!!
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job-Douglas Adams
(Score: 2) by nightsky30 on Tuesday April 01 2014, @12:20PM
Here is a token of appreciation to our new muffiny overlords...
http://www.muffinfilms.com/ [muffinfilms.com]
(Score: 1) by GlennC on Tuesday April 01 2014, @12:38PM
.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, DONUTS!!!!!!!!
Sorry folks...the world is bigger and more varied than you want it to be. Deal with it.
(Score: 1) by migz on Tuesday April 01 2014, @01:03PM
There is no muffin!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday April 02 2014, @03:15AM
this site gets sold more often than a japanese schoolgirls underwear..
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 20 2014, @11:59AM
test comment
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 20 2014, @12:09PM
test comment 2
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 20 2014, @12:13PM
test comment 3
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday June 20 2014, @12:27PM
test comment 4
(Score: 1) by exec on Friday June 20 2014, @12:31PM
test comment 5