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posted by LaminatorX on Sunday June 29 2014, @06:25AM   Printer-friendly
from the Hard-Drive dept.

This ones for Ethanolfuelled.

The verge is reporting...

Technology and sex have always been intertwined. Many of humanity's biggest technological advances; from photography to the telephone to motion pictures to Google Glass most recently, have been quickly repurposed to provide people, usually adult men, with avenues for sexual arousal and release. This week, Apple's iPad belatedly joined that list with the Fleshlight Launchpad. The product is an iPad case with a holster that grips a separate penetrative sex toy called the Fleshlight. The Launchpad only works with older full-sized iPad models (iPad 2 through fourth generation), and includes "rugged handgrips on either side."

http://www.theverge.com/2014/6/27/5850136/fleshlight-launchpad-sex-toy-penetrative-ipad

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  • (Score: 4, Funny) by MostCynical on Sunday June 29 2014, @06:43AM

    by MostCynical (2589) on Sunday June 29 2014, @06:43AM (#61533) Journal

    "Well, that iPad's fucked."

    --
    "I guess once you start doubting, there's no end to it." -Batou, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
    • (Score: 3, Funny) by c0lo on Sunday June 29 2014, @08:45AM

      by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Sunday June 29 2014, @08:45AM (#61560) Journal

      older full-sized iPad models

      A product for gerontomegalophiliacs?
      Or just an attempt to lower the carbon footprint by making SJ turning at high RPMs [theguardian.com] into his grave?

      --
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
    • (Score: 4, Funny) by present_arms on Sunday June 29 2014, @02:48PM

      by present_arms (4392) on Sunday June 29 2014, @02:48PM (#61641) Homepage Journal

      Gotta see the face on the poor guy at the genius bar when the geezer takes that thing in for a service

      --
      http://trinity.mypclinuxos.com/
  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by LaminatorX on Sunday June 29 2014, @06:56AM

    by LaminatorX (14) <reversethis-{moc ... ta} {xrotanimal}> on Sunday June 29 2014, @06:56AM (#61535)

    It only took reality 14 years to catch up with BBSpot's "Mac Lovers" joke. [bbspot.com]

  • (Score: 2) by AnonTechie on Sunday June 29 2014, @08:05AM

    by AnonTechie (2275) on Sunday June 29 2014, @08:05AM (#61547) Journal

    Why single out Ethanol Fueled ??

    --
    Albert Einstein - "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
    • (Score: 2) by c0lo on Sunday June 29 2014, @09:08AM

      by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Sunday June 29 2014, @09:08AM (#61569) Journal
      Why not?
      --
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 29 2014, @09:09AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 29 2014, @09:09AM (#61570)

      Probably because this type of article is a "softball" for his vulgar and offensive trolling?

      Shouldn't your question be "Why single out iPad ??"

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 29 2014, @11:47AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 29 2014, @11:47AM (#61598)

        because of the humancentipad phenomenon

    • (Score: 4, Funny) by Ethanol-fueled on Monday June 30 2014, @01:24AM

      by Ethanol-fueled (2792) on Monday June 30 2014, @01:24AM (#61766) Homepage

      I'm as puzzled as you are. I don't even use that Apple trash, I prefer the Arduino-driven buttplug.

  • (Score: 2) by SlimmPickens on Sunday June 29 2014, @09:00AM

    by SlimmPickens (1056) on Sunday June 29 2014, @09:00AM (#61566)

    Haha! What's he going to say?

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 29 2014, @10:18AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 29 2014, @10:18AM (#61578)

    There are no programmable sensor(s) :(

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 30 2014, @02:52PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 30 2014, @02:52PM (#61952)

      "Put this sensor in your mouth...wait...no, this one..."

  • (Score: 4, Informative) by cafebabe on Sunday June 29 2014, @02:17PM

    by cafebabe (894) on Sunday June 29 2014, @02:17PM (#61631) Journal

    Apparently, it only works in landscape mode. So, software for this attachment would violate Apple's design guidelines. Specifically, requiring software to work in landscape and portrait mode. It also indicates that users have a vital statistic which does not exceed the shorter dimension of their tablet.

    Obligatory bash.org joke about penis size: http://www.bash.org/?670375 [bash.org]

    --
    1702845791×2
  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by looorg on Sunday June 29 2014, @03:09PM

    by looorg (578) on Sunday June 29 2014, @03:09PM (#61648)

    Did they really think this through? If you are using this to videochat with that "special someone" and you use this specially outfitted device and then start to move it up and down at a someone rapid pace will the camera on the ipad be able to keep up or will the image on the other end become really choppy and more weird then one can imagine?

  • (Score: 1) by islisis on Monday June 30 2014, @10:55AM

    by islisis (2901) on Monday June 30 2014, @10:55AM (#61878) Homepage

    seems to me this is what fanboys and the media have been dreaming about since day 1