from the unfortunately-I-cannot-appear-to-be-less-competent dept.
You hear a lot about fears of heights or spiders or clowns, but down deep, most people are most afraid of this one thing: sounding dumb. New research shows that people shy away from asking for help for fear of appearing less competent, but that this is an unfounded fear: Asking for advice actually makes you seem more capable.
Across five studies, a research team led by Harvard Business School’s Alison Wood Brooks finds that people think better of others when they ask for advice — mostly because people really love to give advice. Being asked for advice seems to give us a self-confidence boost, which in turn enhances our opinion of the advice-seeker, Brooks and colleagues write in the paper, which will be published in an upcoming issue of Management Science.
[Paper] (PDF)
(Score: 2, Insightful) by Lagg on Monday August 25 2014, @09:57PM
In addition to what is already stated about what is basically ego stroking (and there is nothing wrong with that) people really like it when you don't try to overcompensate. Knowing and expressing your lack of knowledge about something and seeking to learn indicates that you're confident enough to admit that you do indeed not know some things and so reinforces their own confidence in you when you do something you don't need advice for because they can be fairly certain that you know what you're doing and if you didn't they'd know it.
http://lagg.me [lagg.me] 🗿
(Score: 2) by e_armadillo on Monday August 25 2014, @10:06PM
"man's gotta know his limitations . . . "
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VrFV5r8cs0 [youtube.com]
"How are we gonna get out of here?" ... "We'll dig our way out!" ... "No, no, dig UP stupid!"
(Score: 2) by SlimmPickens on Monday August 25 2014, @10:21PM
I agree. Capable people usually don't mind saying they don't understand, presumably because it's unusual. It's the ones that stand there nodding and never asking questions you've got to worry about.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 26 2014, @05:09PM
I guess it really sort of depends. Asking the right question can make you seem very perceptive and even knowledgeable. On the other hand, asking a question that reveals you did not do your homework ahead of time can make you look incompetent. The people standing there nodding likely know well the maxim "better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, rather than open your mouth and dispel all doubt". Yeah, I have learned this the hard way....
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 25 2014, @10:22PM
Why do you think there are so many confident morons on the internet?
(Score: 3, Funny) by Tork on Tuesday August 26 2014, @12:43AM
I always figured it was because too many of them managed to get their posts modded up on Slashdot.
🏳️🌈 Proud Ally 🏳️🌈
(Score: 2) by e_armadillo on Monday August 25 2014, @10:13PM
Anonymously, of course. Gave me no end of grief for asking advice of people outside our immediate group, even though the people I approached were the absolute correct people to ask about their particular topic(s), and our company is very flat (it is very common for people to openly have skip level meetings without prior clearance from their immediate supervisor).
This particular manager worries that approaching others outside this manager's organization would appear to indicate that this manager hasn't properly equipped the organization . . .
God, I am glad to have a sane manager now :-)
"How are we gonna get out of here?" ... "We'll dig our way out!" ... "No, no, dig UP stupid!"
(Score: 1) by Ethanol-fueled on Monday August 25 2014, @11:19PM
Asking for advice can be done in a wrong way. We had a guy who would ask one person a specific technical question which in context leaves little wiggle-room, then right away afterward within earshot ask another tech the same question. Then afterward another tech the same question.
We thought he was either senile, a dick, or a corporate plant trying to gauge everybody's capability (especially after his evil grins and constant references to "the great purge").
(Score: 2) by e_armadillo on Monday August 25 2014, @11:37PM
Absolutely, yes. There is a huge difference between political information seeking, gossip, turmoil generation, and finding the right person to answer a genuine question. I like to believe that I was in that last category :-)
"How are we gonna get out of here?" ... "We'll dig our way out!" ... "No, no, dig UP stupid!"
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 25 2014, @10:15PM
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 25 2014, @10:52PM
Powerful people don't need to know anything because they can control people who know things for them. Asking questions is not the issue here. Forcing other people to answer is the key.
(Score: 1) by Horse With Stripes on Monday August 25 2014, @11:18PM
Can someone pleas explain all this to me? I need to look smarter and this appears to be one way of making that happen. ;-)
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 26 2014, @12:22AM
No. Go fuck yourself, smartass.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 26 2014, @01:56AM
Stay classy, E.
(Score: 1) by Ethanol-fueled on Tuesday August 26 2014, @12:17PM
That wasn't me, dickface, nor is it every goddamn time somebody posts a snide and profane reply anonymously/
But if you want one, you got one, buddy.
(Score: 2) by kaszz on Monday August 25 2014, @11:37PM
Asking anything in the wrong set of people, actually most people make them think you don't know how to handle the subject in question. In essence that you are incompetent. Don't assume people think that you trying to get a second or third opinion and trying to find new angles etc. Don't assume they are rational..
(Score: 2) by gringer on Tuesday August 26 2014, @01:25AM
Asking anything in the wrong set of people, actually most people make them think you don't know how to handle the subject in question.
This sort of belief leads to people not asking anything ("What if they're not the right person to ask?"), creating silly little obstacles because they're concerned about acting less competent (which is the whole point of this article -- did you read the summary?).
I much prefer sending questions to the person who I think is most appropriate, but putting a disclaimer in my requests; something like "If you're not the right person to ask, could you please forward this onto someone more appropriate?"
Ask me about Sequencing DNA in front of Linus Torvalds [youtube.com]
(Score: 2) by kaszz on Tuesday August 26 2014, @02:21AM
I read the SN summary. Anyway, these upholding the image of competence may certainly create all kinds of crappy obstacles. But they are just a result of people not thinking their thinking through. One way to handle it is to remove that kind of people from your circle of people that you communicate for real with or just go the anonymous path.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 26 2014, @10:27AM
Asking for advice may make you look competent or incompetent. More exactly, asking for advice will let see others how competent or incompetent you actually are.
So if you're competent, feel free to ask for advice, because it will reveal your competence. If you're incompetent, only ask for advice in situations where you don't mind others to learn that you are incompetent (or where they already know it).
So no, if you ask for advice on using the cup holder of your computer, you'll not be considered competent.