Mashable reports on the latest medical breakthrough from a government-funded lab in North Carolina. The lab has already grown tissue for 30 human organs, including kidneys, hearts, bladders, urethras and even vaginas. Now scientists have added another vital organ to the list: the penis.
The Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine in Winston-Salem has successfully engineered the first six lab-grown human penises, the scientists revealed over the weekend — and they're just waiting for FDA approval to move forward with what they call "in-man" testing.
In the meantime, the engineered penises are being put through their paces in the lab — courtesy of machines that squash, twist and stretch the organs, and pump them full of fluid to test their erections.
(Score: 2) by AnonTechie on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:00AM
We will soon get another avalanche of penis enlargement ads in our in boxes ... What could possibly go wrong ?
Albert Einstein - "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
(Score: 4, Funny) by Bot on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:13AM
On the other hand, "grow a pair" has now ceased to be a taunt, it's a mere suggestion.
Account abandoned.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:20AM
A pair of penises? Now there's a thought.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:10AM
So now I can DP a woman without feeling gay! Cool no other man needed.
Sorry....
(Score: 4, Interesting) by cafebabe on Tuesday October 21 2014, @02:30PM
After it was announced on Fri 11 Apr 2014 that four girls between the ages of 13 to 18 with MRKH [Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome] each received a stem cell vagina [dailymail.co.uk], I worked through the implications. On Sun 13 Apr 2014, having nowhere better to post it, I put it on Craigslist. After it disappeared into Craigslist's filtering system, I received exactly one response within 15 minutes of appearing in the index. From this, I believe I managed to shock a member of Craigslist's editorial staff. Since then, the first uterus transplant birth was announced and now we discover that a stem cell penis is imminent. However, I am disappointed that the broader implications of this scenario have already been described on this forum as a "creepy fantasy" [soylentnews.org].
Anyhow, here's a tidied version of what I posted on Craigslist:-
Here's the only response I received:-
(Score: 2) by kaszz on Tuesday October 21 2014, @08:36PM
In short this may have the following consequences:
* Many more people than now can be repaired.
* The demands for human donors will lessen.
* Tailor made organs that gives new capabilities that doesn't exist presently (japanese tentacle porn goes real..).
* Experimentation by DIY people and by pharmaceutical companies.
* Standalone sexual organs will give birth to a new industry.
* There will be a maintaince industry for standalone organs.
* The question what happens if you "print" a human brain hasn't been answered. And someone will try with huge implications.
* Biodolls and computer driven dolls via direct interfacing brings up new issues.
* Craigslist has no clue on stem cell research.
If all organs can be replaced. Has the eternal life issue then been solved?
(Score: 1) by Murdoc on Thursday October 23 2014, @02:27AM
Yeah, I've seen pretty much everything you've mentioned here, and more, in some science-fiction role-playing sessions. After all, isn't that one of the great things about SF is being a giant thought-experiment-playground for the possible future uses of technology? Throw in a sufficiently decadent future society and people's imaginations go to some strange places indeed. One player in particular I remember getting especially creative with her biologically customizable human sex slaves, although I suppose "human" might have been pushing it a bit.
Thanks for the ideas on how close we are to this already though!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @04:22PM
Bug: cafebabe's reply disappears when I open this comment
(Score: 2) by choose another one on Tuesday October 21 2014, @12:27PM
Well, how else are they going to do the "in man" testing ?
I mean, who is going to volunteer for testing that involves having your existing one removed ?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @02:17PM
Surely that would be *on*-man testing.
*In*-man would be something else.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:17AM
What good is a piece of meat if one can get to feel as much as if using a piece of wood? (I don't think they managed to grow the nerves as well or did they?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 2) by cafebabe on Tuesday October 21 2014, @01:23PM
Stem cell nerves already work and advances have been made with nasal cells to encourage spinal nerve growth [bbc.co.uk].
1702845791×2
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:17AM
The new Bic Atlantis XXL... designed for *her* pleasure
(Score: 1) by azrael on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:03AM
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @01:30PM
It means Ethanol-Fueled is out of a job.
(Score: 2, Informative) by Ethanol-fueled on Tuesday October 21 2014, @02:25PM
There are situations in which a messy penis transplant would be beneficial -- Rob Malda, for example, was known for his micropenis and his would be an ideal situation for such a transplant.
My own natural wang is usually good enough, but I endorse Cyberskin Transformer brand penis extenders (Google 'em, you can find them on Amazon for 25 bucks apiece) -- I own 2-inch and 4-inch extensions -- for taking even the coldest and most difficult (not to mention big) ladies "over the top." It is impossible to beat the psychological effect from hearing the noises made stretching a woman out.
Some people might say that they are a "crutch," and that I am not a "real man" for using them. My retort is that I don't give a flying fuck as long as the ladies keep coming back and opening their legs. And if your wife or girlfriend is reassuring you that you're big enough, she is lying to you unless you're Lebron James or Lexington Steele.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @09:25PM
I can understand Steele, but how do you know how big James is?
(Score: 2) by Bot on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:09AM
a PEN!
Account abandoned.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:15AM
My brain misread "Pens" as penis then I felt stupid, then I realized the headline was wrong and how does that happen, especially when you get to legitimately talk about penises?!
(Score: 2) by cubancigar11 on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:41AM
Exactly same happened with me :)
Small typo, editors: "Lab-Grown Human Pen is Coming Soon "
(Score: 3, Informative) by azrael on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:01AM
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:41AM
Not just a pen, a human pen. Finally i do not need to write stuff down myself, i can just talk and the human pen writes it down.
(Score: 4, Funny) by looorg on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:20AM
... with an unlimited supply of yellow ink.
(Score: 1) by Shijiyaku on Tuesday October 21 2014, @01:04PM
Better have that pen!s checked. It's supposed to be invisible super-secret ink!
Born too late for sail;too early for space
(Score: 5, Funny) by wonkey_monkey on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:21AM
Lab-Grown Human Pens Coming Soon
Right, so, you can turn a perfectly respectable story about Alzheimer's into a joke by forgetting the L in "Clock", then when it comes to an actual story about willies, you still can't get it right?
systemd is Roko's Basilisk
(Score: 2) by isostatic on Tuesday October 21 2014, @10:55AM
This site is suppose to be slashdot of ten years ago. What do you expect other than editorial incompetence? It's what we loved about the place!
I can't wait for John Katz to turn up
(Score: 4, Insightful) by azrael on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:03AM
(Score: 1) by idetuxs on Tuesday October 21 2014, @02:21PM
SN is a community run by volunteers. Just a few typos, what gives?
(Score: 3, Insightful) by sudo rm -rf on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:05AM
I for one appreciate those typos, they allow me to read these kind of stories at work :)
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:06AM
Police say the alleged incident occurred yesterday evening at about 9 o'cock.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @03:38PM
That is why I prefer to stay indoors and go to sleep after sex o'cock.
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:08AM
This is very boring. Please stop. Do your job. At least grow up. You keep pushing me back to /.. To bad it keeps pushing me back here. I feel like a abused ping pong ball.
(Score: 2) by LookIntoTheFuture on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:32AM
I would have been much more interested in reading about the vaginas that they made. Will they be able to provide all of the different varieties that Cheech mentions in From Dusk Til Dawn?
(Score: 3, Funny) by choose another one on Tuesday October 21 2014, @12:32PM
The team are still testing that hypothesis in the lab, they are at the "man in" testing stage, we did ask them and they said they'd, uh, get back to you, uh, when they've, uh, got a minute...
(Score: 1) by DBCubix on Tuesday October 21 2014, @11:36AM
Why not call it "pen testing?" lol
(Score: 2) by zeigerpuppy on Tuesday October 21 2014, @12:04PM
I'm getting a second one, you never know...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 21 2014, @12:05PM
Something to be a complete dick about.
(Brought to you from the pen-is-mightier-than-the-pork-sword dept.)
(Score: 2) by nyder on Tuesday October 21 2014, @01:30PM
Okay, I'm guessing the hearts, kindeys, etc are for the serious stuff, probably not a huge mark up on them, but the penis & vag? Oh ya, big mark up, going to be there money maker.
Get it, penis, big, up, funny no?
(Score: 2) by Leebert on Tuesday October 21 2014, @01:58PM
Man, this is going to be huge.
(Score: 2) by gman003 on Tuesday October 21 2014, @02:57PM
Only for like fifteen minutes or so, then it'll shrink down again.
(Score: 2, Funny) by CirclesInSand on Tuesday October 21 2014, @02:11PM
Somewhere, sometimes, one of these scientists was at a bar.
And a girl asked him "What do you do for a living?"
What do you say??
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 22 2014, @03:36AM
Show a copy of this comic?
http://www.decorumcomics.com/comic.php?id=163 [decorumcomics.com]
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Phoenix666 on Tuesday October 21 2014, @02:25PM
My father-in-law had penile cancer and had to have his penis and lymph nodes in his groin removed. I am sure many people will choose this as cosmetic surgery, but it can help those who have lost theirs to disease or trauma.
Washington DC delenda est.