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posted by n1 on Thursday February 26 2015, @11:53PM   Printer-friendly
from the no-love-for-ciri dept.

Online dating proved to be a rote, tedious process. I would click around aimlessly for a few hours after a long day spent grading. When I actually did stumble across a woman I liked, she usually hadn’t been online for months, had a full mailbox, or would simply ignore my message.

Whenever I came to him with a particularly sticky physics problem, my adviser Mike was fond of saying: “Getting a PhD in physics doesn’t mean anything, really. Ultimately what you’re doing here is earning a degree in quantitative problem solving. Any kind of problem.” With that spirit and a notebook, I did what any physicist would do. I fired up MATLAB, and started building my model.

My model visualized online dating as a series of Bernoulli trials, a type of randomized experiment where two people’s first impressions of each other could be modeled via a pair of biased coin flips. Only if both parties land on heads (ie “you’re hot!”) do they go out.'

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  • (Score: 3, Funny) by c0lo on Friday February 27 2015, @12:17AM

    by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 27 2015, @12:17AM (#150220) Journal

    Online dating proved to be a rote, tedious process. I would click around aimlessly for a few hours after a long day spent grading.
    ...
    “Getting a PhD in physics doesn’t mean anything, really. Ultimately what you’re doing here is earning a degree in quantitative problem solving. Any kind of problem.” With that spirit and a notebook

    He was doing it wrong: Internet is not for dating, Internet is for ... [youtube.com]
    I bet if he'd have headed to a popular bar and had/shared a shot or two of a good quality spirit, he would have solved the problem satisfactory enough to not need that notebook and/or MATLAB.

    --
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
    • (Score: 4, Interesting) by c0lo on Friday February 27 2015, @12:23AM

      by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 27 2015, @12:23AM (#150224) Journal
      Yeap, I only now read TFA. It ends with:

      Toward the end of the night, walking her home past familiar brownstones, I realized she lived on my street, two blocks down. She knew a bunch of my friends, too, and she’d worked at the coffee shop around the corner. A pesky little voice pointed out that if I had gone outside once in a while instead of staying in my bed and coding maybe I would’ve run into her.

      Otherwise, an interesting story.

      --
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @02:12AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @02:12AM (#150260)

        I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning. -- Plato

      • (Score: 3, Informative) by Nuke on Friday February 27 2015, @11:17AM

        by Nuke (3162) on Friday February 27 2015, @11:17AM (#150367)

        I realized she lived on my street, two blocks down. She knew a bunch of my friends, too, and she’d worked at the coffee shop around the corner. A pesky little voice pointed out that if I had gone outside once in a while instead of staying in my bed and coding maybe I would’ve run into her.

        "Running into" someone does not mean "getting a date". And do you call being served a coffee "running into someone" ? The problem with meeting people "in real life" is that the participants need to form an opinion of the other in just a few seconds - an opinion of whether even to continue the conversation or politely (or rudely) terminate it. If it is terminated nothing is found out about the other than general appearance. People tell me that women like men who are intelligent and financially solvent with good careers; I reckon I am all of those but how would a girl know that if, when I approach her, she promptly tells me to get lost? Should I have a flag on my hat that says "Well-off and intelligent" ?

        OTOH with online dating the other person has at least got some advance clues as to the sort of person you are. The most important of these is that the other person actually wants to meet someone. The coffee shop waitress might not. What is needed it some way to break the ice and get some talking between you. It does not really matter if you tell lies in your profile because the truth will start to emerge as you meet and talk. For example if woman's profile said she was 25 but she looks 50 when you meet, you can walk away after the first coffee (or before). If she has not said that she is a single mother, she won't be able to keep that secret for long. Waitresses you meet in coffee shops can tell lies too, would you believe.

        How successful you are at chatting up coffee shop waitresses depends on your personality. It never worked for me and I soon gave up. Women actually quite like me when they know me, but generally not at not at first sight - not because I am bad looking, but because I tend to be poker faced, so I am told.

        I don't understand this guy's mechanism, but it just sounds like he is simply contacting as many women as possible. I did that too, but manually. It is true that the ones who sound ideal (ie in background, education and interests) seem the least likely to respond for some reason, so, like this guy, I soon learned to widen the target. In fact had most success with girls from backgrounds nothing like mine.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @01:33AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @01:33AM (#150244)

      I bet if he'd have headed to a popular bar and had/shared a shot or two of a good quality spirit, he would have solved the problem satisfactory enough to not need that notebook and/or MATLAB.

      T..Th.. That's not optimal!

      • (Score: 2) by c0lo on Friday February 27 2015, @01:43AM

        by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 27 2015, @01:43AM (#150252) Journal

        I bet if he'd have headed to a popular bar and had/shared a shot or two of a good quality spirit, he would have solved the problem satisfactory enough to not need that notebook and/or MATLAB.

        T..Th.. That's not optimal!

        So true.
        To be optimal, however, one would need to own a distillery: mass production will guarantee the price/date (via spirit shots) will go down.
        (grin)

        --
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by GungnirSniper on Friday February 27 2015, @12:31AM

    by GungnirSniper (1671) on Friday February 27 2015, @12:31AM (#150227) Journal

    Automatically checking out every females' profile multiple times a day is pretty creepy. But once you get the dates, and it goes nowhere time after time, what do you do?

    These two threads [reddit.com] over at Reddit AMA [reddit.com] have some critical knowledge for the single folk.

    What have you noticed as the #1 most important quality in a happy relationship?

    I think it's a mix of 2 things. (So yeah, I'm cheating a little bit by not giving you just one.)

    The first is integrity.

    You must be the kind of person who does what they say they will do. The ability to make and keep promises to yourself and others is fundamental to a thriving, passionate relationship.

    Integrity is the foundation of trust. Trust is the foundation of commitment. And without those those things, relationships crumble.

    The second thing is self love.

    Love is a lot like knowledge. You can share as much of it as you want with as many people as you want and never lose it. But at the same time, you can only share what you've acquired. You can't share the knowledge of how to fly a plane, or how to bake a cake, or how to speak Russian if you haven't acquired it yourself first.

    Likewise, you can't truly love, accept, forgive, support, or care for someone else if you haven't learned to do it for yourself first.

    • (Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @02:32AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @02:32AM (#150263)

      > The second thing is self love.

      Most people have more practice at self love than at integrity.

  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by sfm on Friday February 27 2015, @03:44AM

    by sfm (675) on Friday February 27 2015, @03:44AM (#150277)

    Amy Webb did a TED talk on a similar subject. Check out
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U [youtube.com]

    An anecdotal monolog about using statistics to beat the online
    dating disadvantages. Maybe not as reliable at MATLAB, but still
    an enjoyable watch.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @09:11AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @09:11AM (#150335)

      Maybe not as reliable at MATLAB, but still an enjoyable watch.

      Indeed. If she were Christian (and still single) I would definitely like to go out with her. She would be absolutely fascinating to spend some quality time with.

  • (Score: 2) by fishybell on Friday February 27 2015, @05:04AM

    by fishybell (3156) on Friday February 27 2015, @05:04AM (#150296)

    Obviously the article link [theguardian.com] isn't down, but the site [yaydating.com] the author created to monetize his bot is. Specifically the site is up but when you try to run the bot on your behalf it says:

    "Megaphone is at capacity right now :(
    Try again later, it'll be back online soon."

  • (Score: 0, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @09:09AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 27 2015, @09:09AM (#150333)

    > I did what any physicist would do. I fired up MATLAB, and started building my model.

    Turns out Python is becoming the scripting language of choice for most physicists. Excellent support for linear algebra (numpy), plotting (matplotlib), other algorithms (scipy)... also the high energy physicists have done some good work porting their C analysis framework to python (ROOT/PyRoot/RootPy)