from the so-long-and-thanks-for-all-the-fish dept.
Hawaiian spinner dolphins may not have to entertain bored primates much longer:
Tourists would be prohibited from swimming with dolphins near Hawaii under a new proposal from the Obama administration. The National Marine Fisheries Service proposed Tuesday to establish a 50-yard barrier that prevents people from getting too close to Hawaiian spinner dolphins, even though they are not listed as endangered or threatened species. This could affect tourism companies, including those that take people dolphin watching, as well as residents who attempt to swim, snorkel or kayak with Hawaiian spinner dolphins.
[...] "The number of commercial operators engaged in wild dolphin viewing has grown dramatically in Hawaii in recent years, putting new pressures on easily accessible groups of resting Hawaiian spinner dolphins," the agency wrote.
Also at Miami Herald (AP).
(Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @07:10AM
As soon as women sample dolphin dick they never want to go back to tiny human men.
(Score: 2) by TheRaven on Wednesday August 24 2016, @10:39AM
sudo mod me up
(Score: 1) by kurenai.tsubasa on Wednesday August 24 2016, @01:44PM
While we're talking about bestiality, I'm certain I've heard about people trying having sex with female dolphins. I guess… I mean… at least they're mammals. Being a mammal supremacist, I'd much rather vote for a dolphin than a lizard person…. In fact, according to HGTTG, voting a dolphin in might not be such a bad idea over the alternative. I'm sure any day now they'll be departing Earth no matter how many fish we give them. They're certainly more sensible than the evolved talking apes currently in charge. Looking at other comments, a dolphin candidate would probably be pro-choice.
(Score: 3, Funny) by JNCF on Wednesday August 24 2016, @05:23PM
Being a mammal supremacist, I'd much rather vote for a dolphin than a lizard person….
It's a conspiracy, [reddit.com] but I think we primates have more to fear from dogs than dolphins. There have been a number of dog mayors, past [wikipedia.org] and present. [usatoday.com] One of them might be getting ready to make a run for the White House. [usatoday.com] There is a cat mayor [wikipedia.org] as well; following the great American tradition of exhibiting horrible violence upon our elected officials, the cat was attacked by a dog.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @06:03PM
>because they'll have severe damage to their internal organs
Have you tried?
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Wednesday August 24 2016, @11:55PM
He was talking about lungs filled with saltwater, and potential decompression issues, obviously.
(Score: 2) by dingus on Wednesday August 24 2016, @07:26AM
yes, because some third-tier admin at the EPA who Obama never met did it, and since he's part of the Obama Administration Obama did it.
Come on, this is just silly.
(Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @07:29AM
If Obama didn't want to take the blame for the actions of the Executive Branch, Obama shouldn't have won the election.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @11:25AM
Yes, well, we thought we were electing a secret Kenyan mooooooooslim, but now the terrible truth finally comes out! Obama is a secret Hawaiian!
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Thursday August 25 2016, @12:04AM
True, though the concept of "unitary of the executive" was mostly solidified when Cheney used it as a weapon against any dissent.
Before and after that, there were more cases of various agencies butting heads.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @08:24AM
Ok, first the lame petroglyph story from the Leeward Coast of the Island of Oahu, and now the dolphin swimming biz, also on the Leeward Coast. Do we have an embedded submitter? Mufi, that you?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @01:03PM
I am pretty sure Mufi Hannemann [wikipedia.org] is not on soylent.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Wednesday August 24 2016, @01:49PM
I bet you there's a Mexican who works in the NMFS, he's even closer to this than Obama is, maybe we can blame him too? Bastard!
You're not thinking what I'm thinking are you? Yeah, a Muslim might also work there. Which *proves* there's a consipiracy.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @10:51AM
What if bored dolphins *want* to play with the flailing primates?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @01:05PM
They are nocturnal. They want to sleep.
Although, as a I child, I used to encounter them regularly on the water during the day.
When they would leap out of the water, spinning. Hence the name.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @01:15PM
Swimming with the sharks has not been banned. The dolphins like to watch so they won't be bored.
(Score: 2) by PartTimeZombie on Wednesday August 24 2016, @11:26PM
In my country it is illegal to approach a marine mammal closer than 100 metres, and has been for a long time. If the marine mammal approaches you, there's nothing you can do and you won't be prosecuted.
In reality there are very few prosecutions as people treat whales and dolphins with respect (generally speaking).
When I was a younger man I was on a friend's boat in coastal waters, and a whale surfaced within about 10 metres of us. It might have been 15 metres long and was travelling an awful lot faster then us. There would have been nothing we could have done to avoid it if it decided to ram us, although I don't think whales ram boats by choice.
(Score: 0, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @11:54AM
And getting rid of those enforcing these laws?
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @01:02PM
Hopefully this will stop the insanity that is "dolphin [time.com] assisted [newsweek.com] birth" [discovermagazine.com] among neohippies. Given the many ways that dolphins are jerks, [deepseanews.com] primarily infanticide both inside and outside their species, I'm amazed we haven't seen fatalities yet. I'm glad it didn't take the death of a birthing human mother and her newborn to get this rule implemented.
(Score: 2) by takyon on Wednesday August 24 2016, @05:31PM
Now I'm curious to see if any niche forums are complaining about this.
I have a feeling they will keep on doing it. Might not be off the coast of Hawaii, but they'll get knocked up and get the spawn blessed by the Water Mother.
[SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @08:54PM
They didn't just ban dolphin-assisted births.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Thexalon on Wednesday August 24 2016, @02:01PM
When a resource held in common is being overly used or misused, it's up to the government to step in and make efforts to control how it is used. In the case of the dolphins, I'm going to assume that the marine biologists behind this move know at least as much about effect all of this activity is having on the dolphins than the tourism companies - after all, they are scientists whose living does not depend on this decision.
Sure, these dolphins might not be an endangered species. At the same time, having a bunch of monkeys around doesn't seem like something that would help them. Also, at least some species of dolphins have been known to attack humans when hungry or stressed or even as part of an organized effort, and I'm sure if that happened the same people complaining about this move would be saying "Why didn't the government do something?"
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
(Score: 2) by JNCF on Wednesday August 24 2016, @06:07PM
Emphasis added:
Also, at least some species of dolphins have been known to attack humans when hungry or stressed or even as part of an organized effort, and I'm sure if that happened the same people complaining about this move would be saying "Why didn't the government do something?"
Some of the same people, sure. Other people are more consistent about their views on government policy, and I feel like you're painting with an overly broad brush. You'll be hard pressed to find a comment in my history that calls for the federal government to regulate anything. I think this comment [soylentnews.org] from two years and two days ago is the closest you'll find, and it clearly isn't anywhere close. Though jdavidb [soylentnews.org] would vehemently disagree with the ending of my linked comment, I believe he is similarly consistent in his opposition to federal governments.
(Score: 2) by Thexalon on Wednesday August 24 2016, @11:32PM
I was thinking mostly about the businesses whose bottom lines would be negatively impacted by the regulation, who thus oppose it, but whose bottom lines would also be negatively impacted by the bad press about, say, a newborn dolphin-birthed baby getting eaten by dolphins.
I agree there's such a thing as a consistent viewpoint. My experience is that businesses and business owners trying to preserve their own profit margins rarely are, however.
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 24 2016, @09:02PM
and I'm sure if that happened the same people complaining about this move would be saying "Why didn't the government do something?"
Just like if we didn't conduct mass surveillance on the populace and a terrorist attack happened, the people complaining about the mass surveillance would then completely reverse their positions and demand mass surveillance? Come on now. Not everyone is an irrational, cowardly authoritarian who is concerned about safety (from an almost nonexistent threat in this case) above all else.