from the found-me?-visit-https://www.noc.ac.uk dept.
After going missing on Christmas Day five years ago, deep ocean measuring equipment belonging to the UK's National Oceanography Centre (NOC) has just been found on a beach in Tasmania by a local resident after making an incredible 14,000 km journey across the ocean.
In 2011, this deep-ocean lander instrument was deployed by NOC scientists in the northern Drake Passage, which is a narrow section of the ocean between South America and Antarctica. Measuring ocean bottom pressure here helps provide information on the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, which is the largest ocean current in the world. The instrument was due to spend two years collecting data at a depth of 1100 metres, before being recovered on Christmas Day in 2013 by a research expedition on the Royal Research Ship (RRS) James Clark Ross, operated by British Antarctic Survey. However it did not return to the surface as planned for reasons that are not clear, possibly due to something getting tangled up with the release mechanism.
After being presumed lost, the deep ocean instrument frame was discovered washed up on a beach on the western tip of Tasmania. After being made aware of the find, the manufacturers were able to use the serial numbers on two of the sensors on the frame to trace the NOC as the owners and contact them.
The image in the article serves up robust testimony to the differential ability of the probe's materials to resist marine fouling.
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 15 2018, @01:47PM (1 child)
The woman rushed to the door at lightning speed. They were finally here. The one she was waiting for was here at last! The woman opened the door, revealing a professional-looking man in a suit and tie who wore a kind smile on his face. "Step right in," she said.
The woman led the man into her living room, where she invited him to take a seat on her couch. Then, they exchanged pleasantries and began talking about her son and his behavior. She told the man about how her son would destroy everything in the house in a fit of rage and would only grow further agitated if she tried to stop him. She told the man about how her son would hit and throw objects at her, and even try to stab her, if she tried to correct his behavior. She told the man about how the several therapists she had taken her son to had been unable to help. The woman, clearly at her wits' end, began crying when recounting these stories.
The man, ever the professional, simply nodded. This was nothing he hadn't seen before. Indeed, this man was a Child Behavioral Specialist, renowned all over the world for his work. Therefore, when he, Zachson, was called in, it was because all other efforts had failed. The man then calmly directed the woman to bring her son into the room, where he could watch their interactions more closely.
The woman walked back into the room with her son, and his rebellious demeanor became immediately apparent. He was already hitting her and throwing objects around the room, without even a hint of desire to avoid showing strangers his true self. Upon seeing this, Zachson knew he would have to use his trademark procedure - called 'The Zachson Method' - to correct this child's behavior. The man stood up while the woman was distracted by her son and began walking over to her.
Suddenly, the woman fell to the ground. Was she having a heart attack, or some sort of seizure? Or, could it possibly have to do with the fact that Zachson had smashed the back of her skull with a heavy mallet? The answer would forever remain a mystery among mysteries. However, what was certain was that she was unlikely to ever get back up, since Zachson brought the mallet down on her skull at full force several more times.
Zachson grinned and turned to face the child. Yes, now that that disgusting adult woman had been taken care of, he could correct the boy's awful behavior. In fact, the child's rebellious attitude had already vanished as if it had never existed, having been replaced with terror and despair. But, even so, Zachson knew he needed to make sure this change was permanent, and so he began.
Zachson quickly tore off the boy's clothing, mounted him, and began the violation. Zachson's penis moved in and out of the child's anus rapidly. The boy, who was in such tremendous pain that he couldn't even utter a coherent sentence, simply screamed and cried. Zachson, being the professional that he was, simply smashed his fists into the boy's face without a shred of mercy. In this way, several of the child's teeth broke off in under a minute. That was Zachson's true ferocity.
Not satisfied with just that, Zachson began again after he had shot his sticky goodies into the child's anus. Indeed, now was not the time to let up; now was the time to strike! Zachson began violating the child even more ferociously, to the point where the boy was constantly screaming in agony. But, The Zachson Method had only just begun!
The boy's ribs, broken. His fingers, smashed to pieces. His teeth, shattered. His penis and testicles, ripped apart by pliers. His anus, filled with cum. His neck, slashed. Thus came the end of the rebellious boy's motion.
Zachson looked over to the mother and smiled. Yes, she would be so proud of her son's newfound behavior, at least if she were anything more than a motionless pile of garbage. Then, realizing he had another appointment soon, Zachson issued one last command to the boy and her mother to test their obedience: "Rot." So confident that they would follow his order even without him present, Zachson left the house and never returned.
The man's confidence had not been misplaced. Over the coming months, the boy and his mother would rot away and leave behind the foulest of odors, demonstrating their absolute obedience to men's rights.
Thus, The Zachson Method spread all over the world like wildfire. What was left behind was a mountain of rotting - yet obedient - corpses...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 15 2018, @05:37PM
Your post has been brought to the attention of the FBI, who take matters involving sexual abuse of children VERY seriously.
(Score: 1, Redundant) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Saturday December 15 2018, @01:52PM (1 child)
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 15 2018, @04:49PM
Even if the instrument does surface on schedule and in the right location it is difficult to find. We had a fisherman pick up an instrument that continued to transmit its location all the way back to the fisherman's home. Imagine the surprise when someone showed up at his house to ransom back the instrument.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 15 2018, @03:54PM (4 children)
http://hypothetical-ocean-sst-events.wikia.com/wiki/2019-22_La_Nina_Event [wikia.com]
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Saturday December 15 2018, @06:17PM (3 children)
I hate to break it to you, but the NORTH Pacific is a long ways from Antarctica, Australia, Tierra del Fuego, Tasmania, or any place remotely related to this story. It's kinda unlikely that El Nino or La Nina were causative factors in this submersible washing up on shore in Tasmania.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday December 15 2018, @11:33PM
Pro-Tip: They're connected. Google Moby-Duck.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday December 16 2018, @06:09PM (1 child)
Aren't you more curious about why there is a hypothetical ssea surface temperature events wiki?
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Sunday December 16 2018, @09:23PM
Hypothecitally - no.
(Score: 1, Offtopic) by Runaway1956 on Saturday December 15 2018, @06:13PM (1 child)
is Gilligan's Island?
Odd, Google Earth shows it to be in Madison, Wisconsin, not far from Squaw Bay, and Upper Mud Lake. So, now we know where Gilligan was all those years, now we need to explain how tidal forces would move something from Gilligan's Island to Tasmania.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday December 17 2018, @12:41AM
Continental Drip Theory.