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posted by Fnord666 on Monday July 24 2017, @04:32PM   Printer-friendly
from the ouch dept.

BOOM! That's the sound of Luc Besson's "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets." US Weekend total is $17 million, not even a multiple of Friday's $6 million. Costing at least $225 million, "Valerian" is a domestic dud.

The only hope for STX Films on the most expensive indie film ever made is people in non English speaking countries not caring about the story or dialogue. This often the case, and dud films– see "The Mummy" — can find audiences who just want the visual flash.

"Valerian" will have to count on China, Russia, South Korea, and other out of the way locales to bail them out.

The previews looked visually amazing. Was the movie really that bad?


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  • (Score: 2) by Snotnose on Monday July 24 2017, @04:50PM (7 children)

    by Snotnose (1623) on Monday July 24 2017, @04:50PM (#543759)

    I'm looking forward to seeing this in a theater, it looks awesome. I've heard the plot is sketchy, used mainly to string the SFX together, but it looks like a great spectacle.

    --
    When the dust settled America realized it was saved by a porn star.
    • (Score: 2) by frojack on Monday July 24 2017, @05:06PM (1 child)

      by frojack (1554) on Monday July 24 2017, @05:06PM (#543770) Journal

      It got good coverage at Comic con, and is just now starting to see TV ads.

      I think its just too soon, because not everyone was aware it was even coming out, nobody was waiting for the appearance of their favorite heart-throb, (lost in all the characters and makeup). This will be a sleeper, I predict, and depends on word of mouth.

      --
      No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
      • (Score: 2) by davester666 on Monday July 24 2017, @07:10PM

        by davester666 (155) on Monday July 24 2017, @07:10PM (#543842)

        I was going to see it last weekend, but the theatre was doing the usual bullshit of only showing it in avx & 3d, so you have to pay $20 to see it. I'll pay the regular fee, but they are doing this for a lot of films now, to artificially boost revenue.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:16PM (4 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:16PM (#543775)

      So basically, it's a porn movie, only without any sex scenes and with special effects?

      • (Score: 3, Interesting) by frojack on Monday July 24 2017, @05:34PM (3 children)

        by frojack (1554) on Monday July 24 2017, @05:34PM (#543785) Journal

        No its basicallyFace Off (the SiFy tv show) [syfy.com] having pumped up the availability of wanna-be special effects makeup artists, to the point where the movie producers were able to get hundreds of them to work for next to nothing in the hopes of jump-starting their careers.

        The problem is there are only so many ways you can disguise a human form, and sooner or later it gets repetitive and self referential.

        --
        No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
        • (Score: 4, Interesting) by microtodd on Monday July 24 2017, @06:37PM (2 children)

          by microtodd (1866) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:37PM (#543820) Homepage Journal

          The problem is there are only so many ways you can disguise a human form, and sooner or later it gets repetitive and self referential.

          Honest question.....so how does Star Wars do it? Doesn't seem repetitive there.

          • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @02:57AM

            by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @02:57AM (#543977)

            Seriously though, it really does.

          • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @07:27AM

            by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @07:27AM (#544058)

            Repetitive and self-referential are pretty much the best ways to describe Episode VII.

  • (Score: 4, Insightful) by DeathMonkey on Monday July 24 2017, @04:53PM (31 children)

    by DeathMonkey (1380) on Monday July 24 2017, @04:53PM (#543760) Journal

    Has anyone seen it?

    Luc Besson also directed the 5th Element. That did poorly in theaters and got pretty bad reviews at the time. It ended up being one of my favorite movies...

    • (Score: 2) by digitalaudiorock on Monday July 24 2017, @04:55PM (4 children)

      by digitalaudiorock (688) on Monday July 24 2017, @04:55PM (#543762) Journal

      Has anyone seen it? Luc Besson also directed the 5th Element.

      I haven't seen it, but now I sort of want to. I loved 5th Element.

      • (Score: 2) by bob_super on Monday July 24 2017, @05:08PM (3 children)

        by bob_super (1357) on Monday July 24 2017, @05:08PM (#543771)

        The 5th element had a pretty impressive cast. This one doesn't quite match.
        In the US market, the lack of big names does matter.
        I expect they'll make a decent but not fantastic profit on the international markets.

        • (Score: 3, Interesting) by frojack on Monday July 24 2017, @06:13PM (2 children)

          by frojack (1554) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:13PM (#543802) Journal

          n the US market, the lack of big names does matter.

          Yup! Witness the utter failure of Star Wars with one big name, and a bunch of nobodies.
          Jurassic Park, made more careers than it relied on.
          Harry Potter, even reading the credits today brings out a chorus of owls. (Who?).
          There were a couple of popular stars in LOTR, but not really that many.
          Even Sigourney Weaver was unsung and lost in Avatar.

          I actually thing the most successful movie franchises are the ones without a boat load of big name stars with baggage.

          --
          No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
          • (Score: 2) by bob_super on Monday July 24 2017, @06:28PM

            by bob_super (1357) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:28PM (#543811)

            All of those (except the first SW, 40 years ago) had giant marketing appeal and established names.
            Very few people in the US have ever heard of Valerian, and it releases in the middle of summer, when even Americans seem to be taking vacations. It looks like a generic blockbuster without anything I can tell, besides visuals, to make you think "I think I want to see it".
            I will see it eventually. I can see why it's the wrong time given the onslaught of "must see" (may need extra quotes) sequels.

          • (Score: 2) by driverless on Wednesday July 26 2017, @02:48AM

            by driverless (4770) on Wednesday July 26 2017, @02:48AM (#544433)

            Harry Potter, even reading the credits today brings out a chorus of owls. (Who?).

            Yeah, Hedwig, Errol, Hermes, Pigwidgeon, ...

    • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:02PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:02PM (#543767)

      And he directed Lucy

      That wasn't too bad

      fritsd (not logged in)

    • (Score: 2, Insightful) by The Mighty Buzzard on Monday July 24 2017, @05:05PM (9 children)

      See, now I'm torn. The only indie movie I ever thought wasn't pretentious bullshit was The Boondock Saints but I also dug The Fifth Element...

      --
      My rights don't end where your fear begins.
      • (Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:33PM (3 children)

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:33PM (#543784)

        Shocker! TMB operates on stereotypes instead of rational thinking. Whodathunk?

        • (Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Monday July 24 2017, @05:49PM (2 children)

          Your inference was incorrect; I was speaking of my experiences rather than suppositions.

          --
          My rights don't end where your fear begins.
          • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:02PM

            by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:02PM (#543796)

            And the loverly AC was referring to "operating", not cogitating. Look to what people do, not at what they say. (Confucius)

          • (Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:00PM

            by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:00PM (#543833)

            Ok then, what were the pretentious indie films you did not like?

            As an aside, if you want your comments to be considered within the confines of your personal experience then you should add such a qualifier instead of

            The only indie movie I ever thought wasn't pretentious bullshit was . . .

            Your wording makes it sound like you've seen many indie films and they were all "pretentious bullshit" and you expect the majority of indie films to be such. Stop getting upset when your shitty stereotyping wordplay is turned back on you.

      • (Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:04PM (2 children)

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:04PM (#543797)

        that's funny. i like a lot of indie films but thought boondock saints was highly pretentious and sucky in general.

        • (Score: 3, Funny) by bob_super on Monday July 24 2017, @06:36PM (1 child)

          by bob_super (1357) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:36PM (#543819)

          In the pretentious vein, "Birdman" was the worst I've seen in a while: Every single second of that movie screamed "Please, I deserve an oscar" to a disturbing point.

          • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @08:40PM

            by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @08:40PM (#543871)

            Yeah that doesn't sound like a psychopath's rape defense or anything.

      • (Score: 2) by driverless on Wednesday July 26 2017, @02:53AM (1 child)

        by driverless (4770) on Wednesday July 26 2017, @02:53AM (#544436)

        Why was this modded flamebait? I loved Boondock Saints, I mean, Billy Connolly as the insane killer father and Willen Dafoe as the classic-music-listening gay FBI agent, it's brilliant. Thank God they never ruined it with some crappy sequel, having to endure something called "Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" would be dire.

        • (Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Wednesday July 26 2017, @03:31AM

          by The Mighty Buzzard (18) Subscriber Badge <themightybuzzard@proton.me> on Wednesday July 26 2017, @03:31AM (#544447) Homepage Journal

          Some folks just gotta get their hate on regularly to keep it from building up and sending them on a shooting spree. It don't bug me, we got plenty of people who don't see the mod system as their own personal spite button, so it balances out on average.

          --
          My rights don't end where your fear begins.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:36PM (3 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:36PM (#543786)

      I saw it at the drive in this weekend. It was a gorgeous movie but the plot sucked. And I'm not one that usually complained about a weak plot, but this one barely tied the scenes together.

      Dislike and distrust between the different alien races but they all peacefully coexist on the same space station. I mean one of the races tried to eat one of the protagonists... and I'm not sure why.

      Or somehow one of the alien races scavenged together a ship, that was then taken aboard another ship, which they then took over the core of the space station without anyone noticing that they had the last remnants of a race on board?

      The plot was a real mess, glossed over important information that could have made the movie more coherent.

      I wouldn't go see it again, and probably wouldn't even watch it on netflix unless I had nothing better to watch.

      • (Score: 3, Funny) by Jeremiah Cornelius on Monday July 24 2017, @06:04PM (2 children)

        by Jeremiah Cornelius (2785) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:04PM (#543798) Journal

        I wonder if this isn't a film destroyed by the editing.

        This is often the case, when good writer/director combos eject a plotless dud.

        Still, I don't think this film is bombing because of plot. Look at the last few "Furious".

        --
        You're betting on the pantomime horse...
        • (Score: 3, Interesting) by edIII on Monday July 24 2017, @08:21PM (1 child)

          by edIII (791) on Monday July 24 2017, @08:21PM (#543866)

          Yep. Editing and music selections can make a movie dramatically different.

          Legend with Tom Cruise is a good example. The release in the U.S had different editing and music than the European release. I have a LaserDisc copy, and two different releases from torrents. The European release you can get through, but it's too serious and somber with the music. The editing made for an entirely different feel from the U.S release which felt more action packed.

          --
          Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
          • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:58AM

            by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:58AM (#543998)

            So, they found 2 different ways to make it suck?

    • (Score: 2, Informative) by DaTrueDave on Monday July 24 2017, @05:45PM

      by DaTrueDave (3144) on Monday July 24 2017, @05:45PM (#543790)

      Didn't he also do The Professional. Now that was a damn fine film.

    • (Score: 2) by r1348 on Monday July 24 2017, @06:32PM (2 children)

      by r1348 (5988) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:32PM (#543815)

      Luc Besson also recently directed Lucy, and that movie was crap.
      Also, the 5th element is Love. Who could have seen that coming now?

      • (Score: 2) by epitaxial on Monday July 24 2017, @07:49PM (1 child)

        by epitaxial (3165) on Monday July 24 2017, @07:49PM (#543862)

        Neck beards get their panties in a bunch of the tag line of Lucy. It's an absurd action film done by a director with a unique style. Are you upset that Jurassic World isn't scientifically accurate?

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @08:44PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @08:44PM (#543872)

          Are you sure it isn't because the name of the movie and its premise is just a condescending little joke about LSD?

    • (Score: 3, Informative) by microtodd on Monday July 24 2017, @06:35PM (1 child)

      by microtodd (1866) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:35PM (#543817) Homepage Journal
      • (Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @08:02PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @08:02PM (#543864)

        Awesome link, or I loved this part:

        The film debuted at number 1 in the US, earning $17 million on its opening weekend.

    • (Score: 3, Interesting) by CoolHand on Monday July 24 2017, @07:00PM

      by CoolHand (438) on Monday July 24 2017, @07:00PM (#543834) Journal

      Has anyone seen it?

      Luc Besson also directed the 5th Element. That did poorly in theaters and got pretty bad reviews at the time. It ended up being one of my favorite movies...

      I saw it Saturday night... It was kind of what I expected from a summer sci-fi space opera movie.. Not too heavy of plot, a lot of action, special effects, and fun.. My son I saw it with and I both gave it about a 4/5 rating after we left the theater. It probably would have been great 20 years ago, but there just wasn't much we hadn't seen before. That is unfortunate, since I guess that the French comic that this was based upon actually influenced a lot of those early Sci-Fi films that make this seem old hat. Still, I went in expecting all that, and I came out entertained, which was all I was hoping.

      --
      Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job-Douglas Adams
    • (Score: 2) by epitaxial on Monday July 24 2017, @07:47PM (2 children)

      by epitaxial (3165) on Monday July 24 2017, @07:47PM (#543859)

      Story was alright but the visuals were amazing. Bright colorful and not cartoon like at all. The movie wasn't shot in 3d and there were no "gimmick" shots but the effect really brought all the background details into focus. The chase scene early on with the hidden marketplace was pretty unique. This movie is exactly what it looks like.

      • (Score: 3, Interesting) by krishnoid on Monday July 24 2017, @10:28PM (1 child)

        by krishnoid (1156) on Monday July 24 2017, @10:28PM (#543909)

        Sounds a lot like Jupiter Ascending [uproxx.com]:

        And Jupiter Ascending is an extremely pretty movie (someday it will be projected on a brick wall with no sound during a hip party that you attend).

        I have to wonder if it wouldn't be fun to take these one-shot visually amazing movies, cut them up, rewrite the entire script, and subtitle them over the edited (and possibly reordered) silent visual clips to make it into something watchable.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:18PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:18PM (#544190)

          Way better than Jupiter Ascending. JS was just a typical so-so Hollywood popcorn flick. Valerian is just different frim what NA critics and audiences are used to. The weakest part is actually the scene in Mega Market, the second sequence in the movie, something added by the director. Valerian is cocky to a point where it endangers the mission. It claahes with the character's more stolid persona ftom the comic. You don't get 7 Medals of Honor by being an overconfident jackass who gets most of your support team killed.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:05PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:05PM (#544188)

      The plot is a little weak, and the movie style and European pacing is very different from what North American audiences and critics are used to. It's based on a young adult graphic novel and is mostly true to the feel of the source material. It has a bit of a feel of The Fifth Element, but the acting and plot are better in Valerian. Visually, it's amazing, and most aliens are more alien than in SW, though there are still a lot of bipedals. Since I wear glasses, I find 3D extra distracting and so was happy to see it in regular.

      Honestly, it's no worse than most superhero flicks and very different. If you're open to something a little different, you should see it.

  • (Score: 2) by EvilSS on Monday July 24 2017, @05:18PM (11 children)

    by EvilSS (1456) Subscriber Badge on Monday July 24 2017, @05:18PM (#543777)
    They picked a really bad weekend to open. Up against Dunkirk's debut, and with Spider-Man and War of the Planet of the Apes only in their 3rd and 2nd weeks respectively. It's possible it will have a slow burn with minimal drop offs week to week as people go to see it after seeing the other big films out right now, but that's a lot of distance to make up. I know it's a big "blockbuster" level film (budget wise at least) but they probably should have opened in the winter or spring, or held off until the fall when the competition isn't so great.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:40PM (9 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:40PM (#543823)

      I guess I don't get how or why people attempt to critique movies based on their revenue over a 72 hour period.

      I think it's valid to analyze their marketing strategy based on a 72 hour period, however. We can mostly rule out word-of-mouth, so we are looking at a clear view of the success of their marketing campaign. Given this is the first time I'm hearing about this film, I'd say that marketing was absolute shit. In August, I'm probably going to see The Dark Tower, which also has shit marketing. The trailer just came out like two weeks ago!@!!eleven!!!1! At least I know that the film existed prior to its opening weekend! Even then, how the hell could it possibly do well on its first weekend even if it were The Shining?!

      • (Score: 2) by NotSanguine on Monday July 24 2017, @08:28PM (6 children)

        In August, I'm probably going to see The Dark Tower, which also has shit marketing.

        As a huge fan of the series (the novels are outstanding!), I'm not expecting very much from the film. Given that it compresses a story told in 3-4000 pages into an hour and thirty-five minutes, I'm sure that a great deal of the story and *any* nuance will be lost.

        By all means, see the film. Once you do that, read the novels (or at least start out reading The Gunslinger [wikipedia.org]). You're in for a real treat.

        As for good movies, how about stuff like:
        Breaker Morant [wikipedia.org]
        Mediterraneo [wikipedia.org]
        The Brother From Another Planet [wikipedia.org]
        Three Days of The Condor [wikipedia.org]
        D.O.A. (1950) [wikipedia.org] (not the crap 1988 remake)
        Bad Lieutenant [wikipedia.org]
        King oif New York [wikipedia.org]

        No, they're not in theaters. But who wouldn't prefer to watch their movies naked and away from the great unwashed masses anyway!

        --
        No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @10:16PM (4 children)

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @10:16PM (#543906)

          Wow that is a poor selection. Bad lieutenant belongs on nobody's list.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:43AM

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:43AM (#543990)

          Well, technically this is a sequel to the book series. I finished the book series except The Wind through the Keyhole a while back (before that 8th one came out). But that one takes place right before Wizard and Glass, right?

          Zomg, a legitimate use of the <spoiler /> tag below!


          “This time around” Roland supposedly has the Horn of Eld. From the trailer I gathered that Jake remembered the last time around. A friend who's a bigger King fan than I suggested that Jake may have the shining based on experiencing the split reality of being dead in Mid-World and alive in New York and various scenes from the trailer.

          The trailer didn't show any combat sequences with the manifestation in the Dutch Street Mansion, so I'm thinking that the manifestation remembers the beat-down Roland gave it the last time. I could be wrong there, because, after all, it's just a trailer. However, it seems clear that Roland doesn't fight Shardik this time around. Guesses I've read are that the North Central Positronics guardian he fights is the rat. (If that was Shardik in the trailer, then yeesh.)

          “Last time around” was the Beam [wikia.com] of the Bear, Way [wikia.com] of the Turtle. This time around may be the Beam of the Rat, Way of the ???.

          I haven't read any of the comics, though. I guess the only way to know for sure is for me to wait a few more weeks and then go and find out.

          Oh yeah, and the number one reason to suspect the movie will flop is that there's been no inexplicable uproar about casting a black man as Roland. Maybe Idris Elba is just that damned epic, but it's almost as though these identity politics crises with movie casting decision are manufactured forced memes. But that's my tinfoil speaking. (I do whatever the voices from my tinfoil say! j/k)

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @09:25PM (1 child)

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @09:25PM (#543883)

        I don't even own a TV and I saw the commercial a couple times at a bar over the last few months.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:45AM

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:45AM (#543992)

          I'm sure they're showing it. I just think it's a bit strange that the trailer took so long to come out. The release date also kept getting pushed back recently.

          Maybe it will be a horrible movie, and those things are the signs of that. I'm hoping that Idris Elba can carry the whole damned thing himself if he needs to.

    • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Monday July 24 2017, @09:24PM

      by JoeMerchant (3937) on Monday July 24 2017, @09:24PM (#543882)

      Rookie (or, in this case Indie) mistake, there's a pretty big potential audience that won't go see it now because its opening weekend was so weak. It can pick up steam later, but for those high margin seats in the first run theaters, they've really hurt themselves by going head-to-head with bigger players.

      --
      🌻🌻 [google.com]
  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:45PM (2 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @05:45PM (#543791)

    No mention that Valérian is originally a fairly popular French comic series? Even if it sucks I'll see it because that was my childhood.

    • (Score: 2) by VLM on Monday July 24 2017, @07:48PM (1 child)

      by VLM (445) on Monday July 24 2017, @07:48PM (#543861)

      Yes its an old French comic, per wikipedia. When I read it, the plot sounded very ringworld-ish but google implies neither copied from each other. Initially I thought maybe the new movie copied the old ringworld, but it turns out the comic is half a century old so maybe ringworld copied aspects of the comic...

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:29PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @03:29PM (#544191)

        Valerian is a spacetime operative . He's basically a 007 timecop and the source material is very different from Ringworld. The only parallel is that, for the time, they both had very alien aliens.

  • (Score: 3, Insightful) by Sulla on Monday July 24 2017, @06:12PM (5 children)

    by Sulla (5173) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:12PM (#543801) Journal

    Who can afford to go to the movies (moneywise/timewise)?

    --
    Ceterum censeo Sinae esse delendam
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:35PM (3 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:35PM (#543816)

      $7 dollars a piece to see it and war for planet of the apes at the drive in.
      $14 for me and the GF, $5 for the giant bag of popcorn, and $5 dollars for our own smuggled in soda and candy.

      $24 dollars and we got to see two movies.

      • (Score: -1, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @10:20PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @10:20PM (#543908)

        Opportunity cost: you could have been working/studying to make $400/hr so you effectively paid $1576 to watch that movie. If you ate dinner, shit or slept it also cost you many thousands of dollars. You're wasting your life away, just end it. END IT NOW!

      • (Score: 2) by fnj on Tuesday July 25 2017, @04:56AM (1 child)

        by fnj (1654) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @04:56AM (#544021)

        $7 dollars

        Illiterate boob.

        • (Score: 2) by Bot on Tuesday July 25 2017, @08:44PM

          by Bot (3902) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @08:44PM (#544309) Journal

          $7 dollars

          Illiterate boob.

          That's gangsta

          --
          Account abandoned.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @07:52PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @07:52PM (#544301)

      And if the total revenue doesn't come all in the first week, that is the "biggest loss"?

      Considering that the copyright owners keep milking the cow even after it's bones are well past the third ‎broth, with this most probably won't be a loss at all. Just not as quick bucks as they expected.

  • (Score: 1) by Arik on Monday July 24 2017, @06:40PM (2 children)

    by Arik (4543) on Monday July 24 2017, @06:40PM (#543822) Journal
    But that's just awful writing.

    "US Weekend total is $17 million, not even a multiple of Friday's $6 million."

    Yeah it is even a multiple. 17 well over twice and just a bit shy of three times 6. R U 2 STOOPID 2 MATHS?!?!

    Now get off my lawn.
    --
    If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:57PM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @06:57PM (#543830)

      "not even an even multiple of Friday's $6 million."

      FTFY, but really it is already too late, and the original point stands.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:58PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:58PM (#543863)

        Don't you mean an integer multiple? The $17 million appears to be somewhere between twice and treble $6 million, but is closer to treble. However, I would accept that 2 is an even number and also the highest integer multiple less than $17 million.

  • (Score: 3, Insightful) by MrGuy on Monday July 24 2017, @07:03PM (4 children)

    by MrGuy (1007) on Monday July 24 2017, @07:03PM (#543836)

    At what point does a quarter BILLION dollar movie get to be called an "indie" movie with a straight face by the industry?

    • (Score: 5, Informative) by NewNic on Monday July 24 2017, @07:17PM

      by NewNic (6420) on Monday July 24 2017, @07:17PM (#543848) Journal

      At what point does a quarter BILLION dollar movie get to be called an "indie" movie with a straight face by the industry?

      It's not the amount of money that matters, but the source of money. The funding didn't come from traditional studios: that makes it an "indie" move.

      --
      lib·er·tar·i·an·ism ˌlibərˈterēənizəm/ noun: Magical thinking that useful idiots mistake for serious political theory
    • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:20PM (2 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:20PM (#543851)

      When gun and automobile companies don't supply weapons cars for the production for some advertisement.

      When it's all blue-screen instead of greasing a councilman's pocket to close down the street for shooting.

      When the script isn't "reviewed and given feedback on" by an Army \ Navy \ Air-force funded company that keeps the scripts patriotic in-exchange for tanks, helicopters and aircraft carrier shots.

      Or in short, when it's not being produced by Hollywood.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:40PM (1 child)

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @07:40PM (#543857)

        No wonder people think indie films are pretentious, can't have people applauding anything that doesn't fall under the big umbrella of propaganda.

        I sure will miss seeing [newest_car_model] zooming around with great shots of its front grill... I also would like to feel reassured that the main characters enjoy the same beverages I do, or whether I should be changing my preference.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @10:31PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 24 2017, @10:31PM (#543910)

          Speak for yourself. When I consume media products my experience is enhanced by 3D viewing of shoe-branding and related consumer items. These products add value and cultural legitimacy to my film experience. I have particularly enjoyed watching William Smith and his pleasure when wearing Converse(TM) branded shoes. Click here for further product details.

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by steveha on Monday July 24 2017, @08:54PM (4 children)

    by steveha (4100) on Monday July 24 2017, @08:54PM (#543874)

    Here's Howard Tayler's review:

    http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/valerian-and-the-city-of-a-thousand-planets/ [schlockmercenary.com]

    His tastes don't overlap 100% perfectly with mine, but they are close enough that if he didn't like this, I am certain I wouldn't like it either. He's a geek: he used to be a project manager at Novell, and now he's full-time creating a science fiction web comic called Schlock Mercenary [schlockmercenary.com] (and some role-playing game stuff based on the universe of his comic). Also he says that Luc Besson's movie The Fifth Element [imdb.com] is one of his favorite movies ever so he went in expecting to like this.

    After reading his review, I'm not tempted at all to watch Valerian.

    • (Score: 1) by snmygos on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:23PM (1 child)

      by snmygos (6274) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:23PM (#544131)

      After reading this review, I am more disgusted by the reviewer than discouraged to see the movie. Contrary to his first sentence that he wanted really to like the film he seem really determined to see the dark side of each thing. When someone say that the best part of a movie is it played in theaters that offer popcorn, you just show you are a jerk.
      I am not a fan of Besson, I disliked 5th element and Lucy and liked others of his movies such as Nikita. From what I have read of Valerian, I expect it to be a good show, like Avatar or Star Wars. And 17 million dollars in three days in the USA is not bad since there are many days to come, and the distribution has not started again in Europa and China.

      • (Score: 2) by steveha on Tuesday July 25 2017, @08:53PM

        by steveha (4100) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @08:53PM (#544313)

        When someone say that the best part of a movie is it played in theaters that offer popcorn, you just show you are a jerk.

        That's a literary technique known as damning with faint praise [wiktionary.org].

        Compare with a review of a movie he liked:

        http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/hidden-figures/ [schlockmercenary.com]

        And here is, in my opinion, the most strongly-worded negative review he ever wrote:

        https://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/movie-review-bloodrayne/ [schlockmercenary.com]

        He really didn't like Bloodrayne.

        If I find out that you went and saw this film after I told you not to, I'll phone your friends up and tell them to go to your house and pour ants in your bed. And when you wake up screaming, covered in ants, you'll think "at least I'm not still watching BloodRayne."

    • (Score: 1) by snmygos on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:35PM

      by snmygos (6274) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:35PM (#544133)
    • (Score: 2) by etherscythe on Thursday August 03 2017, @05:39PM

      by etherscythe (937) on Thursday August 03 2017, @05:39PM (#548430) Journal

      I've been eagerly following Shlock Mercenary for years, but I am rarely in agreement with his movie reviews. Your mileage may vary.

      --
      "Fake News: anything reported outside of my own personally chosen echo chamber"
  • (Score: 1) by noneof_theabove on Monday July 24 2017, @10:13PM

    by noneof_theabove (6189) on Monday July 24 2017, @10:13PM (#543901)

    Valerian Root used for insomnia and anxiety.
    Pretty fitting for the comments.
    [yawn]

  • (Score: 1) by All Your Lawn Are Belong To Us on Tuesday July 25 2017, @02:41PM

    by All Your Lawn Are Belong To Us (6553) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @02:41PM (#544178) Journal

    Rotten Tomatoes Critcial Consensus: "Critics Consensus: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets uses sheer kinetic energy and visual thrills to overcome narrative obstacles and offer a viewing experience whose surreal pleasures often outweigh its flaws." Check.

    Budget: Higher than necessary for the storyline. Check.

    Lead actress gives plenty of cleavage and/or thigh shots? Check.

    Story: Feels like it was written as a college screenwriter's midterm? Check.

    Yep. That's a Luc Besson movie, especially when he tries at sci-fi. (And I like his stuff late night on DVD. I just recognize it's flawed at best.)

    --
    This sig for rent.
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