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There are many reasons to avoid the plethora of direct-to-consumer DNA tests on the market these days. Recent data suggests that many may produce alarming false positives for disease risks, while others that claim to predict things like athletic abilities and wine preferences are simply dubious. Another, perhaps less-common concern is that an at-home genetic analysis may unveil completely unexpected, deeply disturbing information that you just can’t prepare for.
That was the case for Washington state’s Kelli Rowlette (née Fowler), who took a DNA test with the popular site Ancestry.com back in July 2017.
Rowlette was likely expecting to discover new details about her distant ancestors, but she instead learned that her DNA sample matched that of a doctor in Idaho. The Ancestry.com analysis predicted a “parent-child” relationship. Befuddled and in disbelief, Rowlette relayed the findings to her parents, Sally Ashby and Howard Fowler. According to a lawsuit the family filed in the US District Court of Idaho, she told her parents she was disappointed that the results were so unreliable.
But little did she know that her parents—who previously lived in Idaho—had trouble conceiving her and, in 1980, underwent an unusual fertility procedure with a doctor near their Idaho Falls home. The name of that doctor was Gerald E. Mortimer—who happened to have a DNA sample with Ancestry.com that matched Rowlette’s.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 05 2018, @11:38PM (7 children)
Cucked!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 05 2018, @11:44PM
The Penis is Evil.
(Score: 2) by takyon on Friday April 06 2018, @12:07AM
Gerald "Ejaculator" Mortimer is living the evolutionary dream.
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(Score: 4, Informative) by Grishnakh on Friday April 06 2018, @12:15AM (4 children)
Huh? They were using donor sperm, and the husband's sperm was poor quality, so the husband was most likely going to be "cucked" no matter what. That's why they picked a donor with certain traits (over 6', college student, looks like the husband, etc.). They were lied to, and got the doctor's sperm instead.
(Score: 2) by takyon on Friday April 06 2018, @12:18AM (1 child)
It's a zero-cum... err, zero-sum game. Some random nobody got their chance to propagate denied by the Mighty Doctor Mortimer.
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(Score: 3, Touché) by Osamabobama on Friday April 06 2018, @06:48PM
Zero-çum game?
Appended to the end of comments you post. Max: 120 chars.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Whoever on Friday April 06 2018, @04:56AM (1 child)
This wasn't unusual.
This week's episode of "This American Life" has a story abut someone who tried (and failed) to verify his paternity, but one of the things they discuss is that, back in the day, it was quite common for the family doctor to provide the sperm in place of a husband who is unable to provide sufficient viable sperm.
(Score: 4, Funny) by darkfeline on Saturday April 07 2018, @03:51AM
Suddenly, "family doctor" takes on a whole new meaning.
Join the SDF Public Access UNIX System today!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 05 2018, @11:42PM
She didn't suspect the obvious on account of her Decapodian features?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 05 2018, @11:43PM (19 children)
So the real father had lame tadpoles, but the doc couldn't tell them that because they'd cancel their visits, so he improvised.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 05 2018, @11:45PM (2 children)
Correction: "legal father", not "real father".
(Score: 3, Touché) by maxwell demon on Friday April 06 2018, @06:30AM (1 child)
Who are you to decide what is the real father?
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday April 06 2018, @02:18PM
That's easy. DNA don't lie.
(Score: 0, Disagree) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 05 2018, @11:51PM (3 children)
Most likely scenario is the parents made an arrangement with the doctor and kept the secret from their daughter. Daughter's duty now is clear: to piss on her parent's graves.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by looorg on Friday April 06 2018, @12:06AM
If she is hanging out on Ancestry.com to find out more about her family I guess she succeeded, now she'll have a lot more work. Shouldn't she be pleased?
Also without the doctors extra "work" I guess she wouldn't be alive, so we could also just call her an ungrateful bastard? But then that isn't as financially attractive as a lawsuit.
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Friday April 06 2018, @12:55AM (1 child)
Folks on this Site don't read the articles, they only look at the pictures. And the picture on this one is not great. But the article says all 3 parents are alive.
(Score: 2, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @02:22AM
For now.
(Score: 5, Informative) by JNCF on Friday April 06 2018, @12:03AM (11 children)
The parents knew that donor sperm was used, but not that it was from the doctor. From TFA:
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday April 06 2018, @02:46AM (5 children)
I'm having problems empathizing with the mother and the legal father. Unless the daughter is somehow faulty, or defective, then they got what they paid for. The not-quite-anonymous donor was a college grad. At least superficially, he resembled the father - two legs, two eyes, etc. The doctor's choice of donors seems a little unethical, but, where is the illegality?
Had the doctor used a knock-out drug, and deposited the sperm in a more traditional fashion, then we would be considering rape. But, that isn't what happened here.
Ehhhh - just can't get excited over this case.
(Score: 4, Informative) by JNCF on Friday April 06 2018, @03:29AM (2 children)
College student, and they were allegedly promised more of a resemblance than two arms and two legs. But you know that, old troll. I have trouble empathizing with the parents' decision to keep the sperm donation a secret so long, but I suspect there was a lot of ego wrapped up in fatherhood and that 15% sperm input was some way of holding out hope. I have no idea what that's like, but I still think you'd have to tell the kid at some point. It's such a big lie, and it has potential implications for genetic health; good thing she got herself tested.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @06:02PM (1 child)
Why do you assume it is an ego issue? How do you even bring that topic up?
(Score: 2) by JNCF on Friday April 06 2018, @06:52PM
I can't cite you any studies linking ego to fatherhood, it's just something I've anecdotally noticed in men. I actually hesitated to bring it up, but I was trying to be recognise the sensitivity of situation that the parents are in given that I was being critical of their decision to lie to their grown child about her biological ancestry. Another obvious factor is that the knowledge could somehow damage her emotional bond to the legal father, but if I was in that guy's shoes I'd be questioning to what degree this factor was a rationalization for the ego thing (which you probably still disagree with as even being a factor, and I haven't made a strong argument for).
(Score: 1) by khallow on Friday April 06 2018, @07:14AM
Fraud. Or perhaps, civil lawsuit for bad faith in the contract. Let us also keep in mind that there's a good chance that this is just the tip of the iceberg. The good doctor may well have a number of children formed in this way.
(Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @10:35PM
I suppose you could pay for a prostitute for a night you won't soon forget. Then she could have a thug come in and beat the shit out of your retarded ass with a large pipe wrench, and you couldn't argue that you didn't get what you paid for either, right?
(Score: 5, Insightful) by FatPhil on Friday April 06 2018, @05:54AM (4 children)
Is this some kind of homeopathy (without the repeated dilution)? Will the low-motility sperm be influenced - get all psyched up - by the presence of the higher motility sperm, and even remember that boost as they barge up the uterus? My personal conclusion would be that the less fit sperm has an even lower chance of winning the race when fit sperm is introduced into the mix.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @07:30AM (2 children)
Probably a psychological trick for the father. "There's a chance the child is biologically mine", to try and preempt feelings of jealousy, and psychological barriers between father and child. He can't yell in anger "you're not really my child anyway", at best he can pull a "there's an 85+% chance you're not really my child", which somehow loses the punch.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday April 06 2018, @02:50PM (1 child)
A coin is tossed, but not revealed - what's the probability that it's heads? Half? Nope, it's either one or zero, depending on whether it's heads up or not! This argument tends to get lots of people's knickers in a twist, which is good, as it's deliberately paradoxical.
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 2) by darkfeline on Saturday April 07 2018, @03:56AM
You screwed up your analogy there. The probability is half, until it is measured, then the wave function collapses. Yes, even thought the coin has already been flipped and "technically" isn't oscillating on the table.
This is literally the entire point of the Schrödinger's cat thought experiment.
Join the SDF Public Access UNIX System today!
(Score: 3, Interesting) by VLM on Friday April 06 2018, @02:33PM
More than just genetic code in the ... zip file or whatever analogy. In 1980 its pretty ridiculous as a technique but In 15000 BC if one guy had weird pH or something then playing dilution games might ironically increase the odds of the guy having his genetic material reproduce (say the pH is so high there's a 100% chance of infertility if only he squirts in there, but multiple guys would "fix" the pH, now resulting in lowered the odds of infertility, even if there's 80% chance or whatever its the other dude's kid, 20% is much higher than 0%). In 15000 BC its orgy time but you'd think in 1980 there would be some kind of pharmacy bottle with pH buffers and nutrients and whatnot rather than mixing with his own stuff.
(Score: 4, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @12:24AM (7 children)
DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.
PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!
NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday April 06 2018, @05:56AM (4 children)
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Friday April 06 2018, @06:34AM (2 children)
So if you close your eyes while doing it, it's OK? :-)
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday April 06 2018, @07:47AM (1 child)
(And I'm surprised I've not passing more typos, my wireless keyboard's battery is going a bit flat, I can't catch them all...)
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @05:48PM
Well try harder, you can afford a little metabolic energy.
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Friday April 06 2018, @04:12PM
The Genesis thing was as follows. Judah's son was evil and God struck him down. Then according to custom the son's wife was to have a child by one of the relatives, because reasons. So, one of Judah's other sons went in to impregnate her, but instead he pulled out at the last second. Spilling his seed on the ground. God found that to be screwed up, so he struck him dead also.
It wasn't because he spilled his seed on the ground. It's because he was effectively just using her, instead of doing what he was supposed to be doing. Yes, he did spill his seed on the ground, but it wasn't that act alone that was so evil.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 2) by SomeGuy on Friday April 06 2018, @01:38PM (1 child)
Dafuq did I just read?
TL;DR there is no such thing as God - it is just an excuse for sick people to put their sperm in you.
(Score: 3, Informative) by JNCF on Friday April 06 2018, @04:37PM
Every Sperm is Sacred [youtube.com], from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
(Score: 5, Insightful) by Rosco P. Coltrane on Friday April 06 2018, @12:52AM (4 children)
When you share anything personal with big data companies that don't give two shits about morals or restraint.
This story is creepy at a profound societal level...
(Score: 2) by takyon on Friday April 06 2018, @12:59AM (2 children)
Future scenario: your DNA sequence, stored in some database, is downloaded and used to create synthetic eggs and sperm, which are then combined with whatever the good doctor feels like combining it with.
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(Score: 2) by JNCF on Friday April 06 2018, @02:38AM (1 child)
The combinations will be optimized with a genetic algorithm.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @05:56PM
I seed what you did there.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by FatPhil on Friday April 06 2018, @06:03AM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Friday April 06 2018, @02:42AM (6 children)
Not just a test
I want to contribute to rational drug design
I can do many things that schizoaffectives shouldn't be able to do
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Informative) by takyon on Friday April 06 2018, @09:20AM (3 children)
http://www.gringene.org/contact.html [gringene.org]
Send a short email here, maybe he can help you.
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(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Saturday April 07 2018, @06:40AM (2 children)
ncsd dscajklsdac sadcnlkdsac sda
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by takyon on Saturday April 07 2018, @12:25PM (1 child)
Let me know how it goes.
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(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Sunday April 08 2018, @03:41AM
I Am Eternally In Your Debt.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday April 06 2018, @11:25AM (1 child)
Maybe you're not schizoaffective.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Saturday April 07 2018, @06:43AM
Breathing mercury vapor can cause brain damage.
I owned about two ounces of mercury starting when I was 12. It's quite cool to hold in the palm of your hand, it jiggles as if it is a living creature.
But don't spill it on your carpet! Even an eyedropper can't pick it all back up.
I regard the onset of my mental illness as 7 years old because I had the idea I could predict the future in my dreams. I puzzled over that one for quite a long time after my SD diagnosis. Eventually I concluded that I was not experiencing time in a linear way.
Mental illness is found throughout both sides of my whole extended family, even among those who are not my blood relatives such as my brother-in-law's schizophrenic ex-wife.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 4, Interesting) by LaminatorX on Friday April 06 2018, @11:58AM
I know a Korean-American woman who had her DNA done and was surprised to discover that she's a little over 1/4 Japanese-descended. She decided to go with "broad historical contact between neighboring peoples" as a working explanation and keep it to herself rather than bringing it up with her family and risk opening a Pandora's box that may very well involve one of her grandmothers being raped by a Japanese soldier during Korea's occupation by the Empire of Japan.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Friday April 06 2018, @02:25PM (1 child)
The flip side of the story is my mom's side of the family tree has an adopted orphan who's parents died in the great 1919 influenza outbreak and we know almost nothing of her ancestry at all, which is too bad. Based on ancestry racial reports and percentages her adopted parents must have been in the same ethnic neighborhood or church parish as her birth parents, that's all we know.
Haven't found anyone on 23andme that relates to the adoption about a century ago. I suppose its possible given the number of flu deaths that she was literally the sole survivor from her family.
Two REAL annoyances about genetic stuff today in 2018:
1) Everyone is worried about big brother sharing everything but for profitability reasons 23andme won't/can't share with ancestry, this is the case across the board. No or minimal interop.
2) For weird legacy FDA reasons the analysis providers can't provide certain analysis but there are 3rd party providers you can upload for genetic marker analysis, usually at great annoyance and inconvenience.
There is, currently, no central big bro or google for genetic data.
(Score: 2) by danmars on Friday April 06 2018, @04:03PM
I doubt they'll deal much with each other, but it seems very likely the feds will send over some sequenced DNA to all relevant companies and say, "Who do you have who's a close match for this, and how close?"
In that way anyone who participates in these services becomes part of a huge not-just-criminals database of DNA which can be used not to just find repeat offenders but relatives of anyone who's ever participated.
Oh yeah, the mystery DNA is from a person who is a first cousin of both this Jane Smith and that John Doe. Combine that with census or tax data and now you know which 3 people may be the person you're looking for.