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Depending on which hemisphere of the Earth you're currently reading this from, summer is finally starting to fight its way to the surface. For the more "green" of our readers, that can mean it's time to start making plans for summer gardening. But as anyone who's ever planted something edible can tell you, garden pests such as squirrels are fantastically effective at turning all your hard work into a wasteland. Finding ways to keep them away from your crops can be a full-time job, but luckily it's a job nobody will mind if automation steals from humans.
[Peter Quinn] writes in to tell us about the elaborate lengths he is going to keep bushy-tailed marauders away from his tomatoes this year. Long term he plans on setting up a non-lethal sentry gun to scare them away, but before he can get to that point he needs to perfect the science of automatically targeting his prey. At the same time, he wants to train the system well enough that it won't fire on humans or other animals such as cats and birds which might visit his garden.
Source: https://hackaday.com/2018/04/30/training-the-squirrel-terminator/
(Score: 2, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @02:39PM (8 children)
Or, you know, have dogs. We have a garden every year and the dogs are extremely effective at keeping the squirrels away and have been trained not to disturb the plants themselves. The only downside is that they provide you will love and affecti.... oh wait.
(Score: 5, Touché) by Snow on Wednesday May 02 2018, @02:49PM (5 children)
You forgot the backyard full of dog shit. That's a definite downside. Especially in spring when you have shit that has fermented all winter long. Sometimes it turns white and appears to grow hair.
There are parts of having a dog I miss, but requiring shoes in the backyard is not one of them.
(Score: 5, Funny) by Bean Dip on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:02PM (2 children)
Just train them to poop in the neighbor's yard. That's what my neighbor does.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Thursday May 03 2018, @12:10AM (1 child)
Huh... does your neighbour poop into your yard or just trains his dog to?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 03 2018, @04:33AM
How else do you train them?
Seriously though, I caught my neighbor trying to teach his dog to defecate in my yard. Asshole.
(Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Wednesday May 02 2018, @05:51PM
Yeah, my dog would definitely pee all over my plants, then trample them for added measure as he was chasing the squirrels.
Also, your dog's poop shouldn't be turning white anymore. [reddit.com] Might want to have that checked if it's still occurring.
(Score: 2) by stretch611 on Wednesday May 02 2018, @08:38PM
If you truly area gardener, you would realize that dog shit is also know as free natural fertilizer.
Now with 5 covid vaccine shots/boosters altering my DNA :P
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @02:50PM
dags = data acquisition guys/gals (slang for computer techs, from car racing). While they are typically not well paid by their racing teams, using dags for squirrel control might be overkill?
We tried a sprinkler with built-in motion detector. When it worked, it did a passable job of keeping the suburban deer out of the flower garden. It was an earlier model of this, https://www.walmart.com/ip/Digoo-DG-AK7-Garden-Patio-Water-Sprinkler-Animal-Deterrent-Repellent-Repeller-ScareCrow-PIR-Sensor-Motion-Activated-Solar-Power-Auto-rotation-360-Spr/324020230 [walmart.com] but it seems there is now more than one supplier.
(Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:01PM
make your neighbors hate you because of all the innane barki.... oh wait.
🌻🌻 [google.com]
(Score: 4, Insightful) by JoeMerchant on Wednesday May 02 2018, @02:43PM (1 child)
We have a couple of bamboo stands around the house, one grows strongly enough that it has made itself into a nice big bushy patch. The other can't get ahead of the squirrels - they eat the shoots just as fast as they come up. Funny thing, the strongly growing patch is an "edible" variety of bamboo that you can harvest for salads, while the others that the squirrels are decimating are a similar species but too bitter for human consumption even when they are new shoots.
🌻🌻 [google.com]
(Score: 3, Funny) by DeathMonkey on Wednesday May 02 2018, @05:54PM
Yeah, they don't usually bother my food crops.
I did these white decorative pumpkins a couple years back, though, and they went crazy on them.
It looked like a fricken albino massacre out there!
(Score: 4, Informative) by danmars on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:00PM (2 children)
You probably want to keep cats away from the garden, too. They like to leave behind parasite-filled solid waste in your garden. Toxoplasmosis and all that.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 03 2018, @04:37AM
What's the alternative? Teach cats to use human toilets and flush?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 03 2018, @08:38AM
Not denying the connection with cat faeces (though I would point out that contact with kitten faeces rather than that of adult cats increases your chances of getting infected), but ISTR the most common cause of Toxoplasmosis infections in the US is through contact with, and/or consumption of under-cooked meat, second most common cause of infections is from contaminated water supplies.
(Score: 5, Funny) by nobu_the_bard on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:18PM (8 children)
They are tiny demons. They've broken windows and air conditioners to get in and run raids at my place (on the third floor) spilling food and poop everywhere. Replaced some of the window screens with steel and bolted them to the frames after the squirrels chewed through a few window screens and broke the latches off others. The new screens protect the windows they've learned to break.
Haven't hooked up any air conditioners like this yet. Was nervous about covering the A/C exhaust with a metal mesh, it might conduct heat; A/C exhaust is quite hot. I hadn't found much research on what to do about protecting those yet. I'll have to think of something for this year. The last A/C exhaust pipe (plastic window exhaust for wheeled floor A/C) was shattered by them.
The little pervs line up at the window and watch whoever, whatever is going on, so I have also installed curtains (they chitter when I close the curtains on them). They also just line up when I'm outside on the neighbor's fence and watch me and guests. They like to watch me heading out for work in the mornings. Sometimes I see a much larger, heavily scarred one that looks like he could fight a cat and win; I decided it must be the local warlord (the others avoid it too).
I think they must live in a neighbor's tree or garage or something. I know they don't live on my property, I have searched it exhaustively. Supposedly they could be living anywhere within 1/3 of a mile and have singled out my little house as a target. Unfortunately I rent so I have limited options for modifying the house (thus why I use a non-permanently installed A/C).
(Score: 2) by takyon on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:25PM (1 child)
I don't think I've ever heard such a detailed complaint about squirrels (tree rats).
[SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 3, Funny) by nobu_the_bard on Wednesday May 02 2018, @11:57PM
I could go on. Much of last year's warmer months I spent fighting them everywhere I went.
I went camping with friends (about 12 people), we rented a group of cabins up in the mountains for a weekend. This happened after the first time squirrels broke one of my windows at home on about a Wednesday. On Friday evening we were starting up the kitchen for dinner and heard *ZAAAP* and the power flickered. We started cutting power consumption and searching for electrical problems. Then there was a bigger *THWUMP* from somewhere and the power cut.
We realized a power pole up the trail was on fire. We had it contained by the time emergency people arrived about 20 minutes later. Their investigation revealed squirrels had broken into the wiring on the pole, electrocuted themselves, first one and then another, the second damaging the transformer badly; both fell burning to the ground. People joked the "squirrel mafia" had me marked.
(Score: 4, Funny) by Freeman on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:40PM (1 child)
Why were you storing poop? Around food no less!
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @04:20PM
To teach those little fuckers a lesson!
(Score: 2) by LoRdTAW on Wednesday May 02 2018, @06:17PM
That won't hurt anything. You can safely shield an AC with mesh or expanded metal so long as you don't restrict the airflow.
What concerns of heat conductivity do you have? According to this forum post: http://www.refrigeration-engineer.com/forums/showthread.php?36094-max-operating-temperature [refrigeration-engineer.com], condenser temperature is usually 15C higher than ambient. And maximum temperatures all appear to be well under 100C. You might get hot enough to burn but if that side is hanging outside of a window, it doesn't matter one bit.
(Score: 4, Funny) by crafoo on Wednesday May 02 2018, @10:32PM
As in the old days, make examples of the most brave of the demon hoard. Mount them on miniature pikes about your gardens and window sills. At the very least you will have some squirrel cannibalism videos for youtube.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @11:10PM
You can see them?
Air rifle time?
Fire crackers?
Traps?
Poison honey?
(Score: 2) by driverless on Thursday May 03 2018, @01:37AM
Please put down your acorn. You have twenty seconds to comply.
You now have fifteen seconds to comply.
You are in direct violation of Penal Code 1.13, Section 9.
You have five seconds to comply.
Four... three... two... one... I am now authorized to use physical force!
[Shredded squirrel]
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:39PM (9 children)
I have experience here.
"Non-lethal" is going to be an issue. The reason for that, is those little cheeky motherfuckers absolutely DO NOT GO AWAY unless you're subjecting them to trauma just short of killing them.
I had a pneumatic cannon loaded with water, manually triggered, pointed at the bird feeder. It was enough to send them flying 15+ feet horizontally from the starting position and those bastards STILL had be shot 3-5 times per individual before they got the message. The cannon was painful enough to be shot with point-blank as a human, so I can imagine what it does when you weigh all of 3 pounds.
Of course this was after I got sick of shooting them with a bb gun, which was also painful, even through clothing, but completely ineffective at discouraging them. Any auto-targeted rig you build is going to inadvertently kill a few birds in the process, since they obviously have a much lower margin between painful and lethal.
The short answer is Just invest in a 22lr or good pellet gun and kill them outright if you actually want to solve the problem. You'll be doing everyone else and the power grid a favor.
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:48PM (3 children)
Pistol crossbows. Compact, silent, highly effective.
https://youtu.be/g1Slq70qxtk [youtu.be]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @05:15PM
This crossbow [youtube.com] is better.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by bob_super on Wednesday May 02 2018, @05:59PM (1 child)
Paintball gun.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 03 2018, @02:34AM
Do paint ball guns have glue gunner ammo ala BTD5?
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @04:28PM (1 child)
Actually it hurts them much less because they are so light! Near 100% of the energy was transferred to your skin/body, but for a squirrel a lot of the energy is translated into kinetic energy as they get tossed through the air; and the landing probably doesn't hurt much either.
I'm not a fan of killing animals, but sometimes there really isn't much of a better option. I wonder if some enterprising buddhists could come up with some novel methods of preventing squirrels from causing mayhem but I doubt it, logistically it just seems impossible to control squirrels.
Oh! For a bird feeder you should use the slinky method. Mount the feeder on a tall poll and attach a slinky that drops down along the poll. They climb up the poll, then grab the slinky and fall to the ground, very frustrating for them.
(Score: 2) by LoRdTAW on Wednesday May 02 2018, @07:45PM
I've seen the video on youtube, maybe there is more than one? My question is has anyone actually tried this and does it actually work? The slinky seems to be a weak link if it stretches out and becomes useless.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by DannyB on Wednesday May 02 2018, @07:58PM (1 child)
Is a nail gun sufficiently non lethal?
When trying to solve a problem don't ask who suffers from the problem, ask who profits from the problem.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 03 2018, @11:17AM
Are you trying to create Squirrel Jesus ?
(Score: 3, Interesting) by stretch611 on Wednesday May 02 2018, @08:58PM
Screw "non-lethal." Just kill them all!!!
My experience... which just happened 3 weeks ago...
I went out to run some errands. Cranked up the car and it wouldn't start. Called AAA for a tow. OFC, they send a jump start unit instead of a tow truck even thought I knew it wasn't the battery. They try to jump it (my battery is in the trunk) and they say my battery is fine (duh) that my car isn't getting gas, so they call a tow truck over like I initially asked after wasting an hour.
I get to my mechanic, and they pop the hood and a squirrel lunged at him than ran under the plastic engine cover with two of his friends. The damn squirrels made a nest under my hood. They get the engine cover off, hose down the engine with water and wait for the damn rodents to leave. They had to replace 18 wires and a big wiring harness as well. DAMN Squirrels.
And its not like the car sits idle either... it is currently, my only vehicle and was used less than 48 hours earlier. F-ING Squirrels. Made my nice 368hp engine go nowhere at all.
KILL 'EM ALL!!! Sad thing is that my mechanic let them live... His place is only 15 miles away from me; which is close enough that the damn rodents are likely to make it back here.
Now with 5 covid vaccine shots/boosters altering my DNA :P
(Score: 3, Interesting) by JoeMerchant on Wednesday May 02 2018, @03:58PM (4 children)
Round about 10 years ago I floated an idea to my employer that went absolutely nowhere, but...
If you set up a web camera (or two) focused on the bird feeder, or garden, or whatever other squirrel attractor you have, and also outfit the area with a web-controlled water cannon, the idea was to let people on the internet "lock on" our target tracking software to the squirrel in the image and then fire away, possibly with multiple trackers and multiple water cannons. Yes, lag is a real thing, but that's what the image tracking is for - plus, it's a great demonstration of the power of our image stabilization and target tracking software.
It was supposed to be a more humane spin on the web controlled deer rifles that were making the news at the time.
🌻🌻 [google.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @04:30PM (1 child)
Haha somewhat creepy to intentionally have a public webcam like that, but super cool! What was wrong with your employer???
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Thursday May 03 2018, @12:22AM
A wild guess: somebody shot him over the net with a watercannon while he was inspecting a bird feeder. He broke his neck in the fall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 2) by stretch611 on Wednesday May 02 2018, @10:45PM (1 child)
I can see one problem with that...
Being the internet, I would expect random idiots to use the water gun on the birds as well.
Now with 5 covid vaccine shots/boosters altering my DNA :P
(Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Thursday May 03 2018, @12:41AM
Plot twist: there's another, more squirrel proof, feeder off-camera nearby.
🌻🌻 [google.com]
(Score: 2) by BananaPhone on Wednesday May 02 2018, @04:26PM
"Tigger" kept making my dogs go nuts but the worse thing was him using my property as a litter box. (gardens, patio furniture, decks, covered porch)
I would have killed for such a toy as this.
(Score: 4, Informative) by captain normal on Wednesday May 02 2018, @04:50PM (3 children)
I do think you may be over-engineering this. A couple of hundred bucks of poultry wire and wood (plus a ox of screws) from the lumber yard then a half days work and you're done.
Personally I've never had a problem with the common squirrels going for our tomatoes. Maybe it's because there is too much other stuff to eat around here in central California. There are plenty of oak trees and several walnut trees nearby. The squirrels do come into our yard and bury acorns and walnuts. We find sprouting trees every spring. My brothers place in southern Cal does have problems with ground squirrels that kept raiding their garden until they built a garden fence of poultry wire. He also had to add a wire roof to keep out scrub jays and crows.
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts"- --Daniel Patrick Moynihan--
(Score: 3, Insightful) by takyon on Wednesday May 02 2018, @04:53PM
>hackaday
[SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Wednesday May 02 2018, @08:03PM
Java developer, expert at over-engineering.
Here is the Java Enterprise Edition Hello World. [github.com]
Here is the Java Enterprise Edition FizzBuzz. [github.com]
When trying to solve a problem don't ask who suffers from the problem, ask who profits from the problem.
(Score: 2) by crafoo on Wednesday May 02 2018, @10:34PM
I'd like to use the same system for deer. They destroy my garden and most flowers too. Neural Net to recognize deer and hit them with pressurized water & paint or whatever would be useful and fun to watch. I'm in the city limits so I can't fill my freezer with their bodies, unfortunately. Maybe I can bow hunt them, I'll have to check the local laws.
(Score: 3, Informative) by jimtheowl on Wednesday May 02 2018, @05:31PM (2 children)
Unfortunately, about twice a year, a bird would end up a casualty as well.
Even now that the cat is gone, the squirrels still keep their distances from the house.
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @06:38PM (1 child)
Twice a year only? Maybe he kept his bird kills secret from you...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 03 2018, @08:58AM
Keeping kills secret?, ever owned a cat?. Seriously, if they're actively killing then they're more likely to drag in their kills for you to inspect and, as one of my sisters pointed out, thanks to domestication they're probably also expecting you to cook the bloody things for them.
It might surprise some people, but not all cats like/kill birds (and I say this as someone who has been exposed to foibles of the furry overlord tribe for over 40 years), some are exclusively bird catchers, some are exclusively 'mousers', some of them are 'opportunists', some of them seem to survive on fish and cheese...
(Score: 2) by looorg on Wednesday May 02 2018, @05:54PM
If you are going to be building Sentry guns they should at least look like the once from Aliens. It's that or none at all really. I wonder what PETA thinks of this, not that I normally give a shit of what they think. But this seems like something they could get up in arms over. Won't someone think of the poor squirrel and their nuts.
Shouldn't it be fairly simple to prevent it from shooting at humans and cats and dogs? Squirrels are small, cats/dogs/humans are large. If the target box is "large" at range X then don't fire, if it's small then fire at will. Problem might be that instead of caring for the plants he might spend an awful lot of times picking up pellets and refilling the magazines every damn day. Perhaps he could use some kind of eco-friendly pellets or something that are just degradable. No point in using steel balls or anything like that. Question is if they are actually even hitting the squirrels (and other rodents) or not, it might be enough with some near misses to scare them off. Might be possible to just fire a squirt of water or something at them to, just having something impact near them is probably enough to get them to run the heck away at full speed.
I guess if one really gets the target zeroed in and the velocity is high enough you could shot small steel balls and you could be eating squirrel (or rat or ...) every day!
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @06:45PM (4 children)
I bought a trap. I might get a crossbow. With the trap, you need to do something like dunk it in a lake to kill the squirrel. I guess fire might work too.
Put the squirrel on its back. Pinch the skin of the abdomen, pulling it outward a bit, and then start your cut there. Go around the crotch. Next, you sort of undress the squirrel by pulling on the skin. Pull the hind legs out of the fur. Keep tugging to get the body loose. Pull the tail out of the fur. You can get it mostly intact. At this point the squirrel sort of wears a cape. Pull out the front legs. Pull out the head as best you can.
Now you have two parts. If you aren't ready to deal with the fur, spread it out (for fast cooling) and freeze it. The fur can be tanned with or without hair, then made into whatever you like: gloves, hat, earmuffs, neck warmer, fishing lure, slingshot part, purse, wallet, etc. The body needs more work. Pinch the belly again, and cut into it carefully. (don't get shit everywhere) Pull out the innards. Don't worry too much; you'll be cooking it I hope. A tiny bit of fur may cling to the face, but that is fine, and you don't need to remove the head. Take your meat to the kitchen.
I haven't messed with the brains, but they are popular. Some people eat them. Some people use the brains to help tan the fur. I'm not sure how you'd get them out without smashing them.
I steam the squirrels for a long time. Getting the meat off is like getting the meat off of chicken wings; this is something to be done by the eater at the table. I'm sure baking them is fine. I cook the squirrels whole, from head to tail, with only the fur and guts removed. This is easier for me.
The meat reminds me of goose. I think it needs plenty of salt. It's decent. The real motivation of course, is getting squirrels out of the yard. You might as well not waste them.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @07:06PM
I'd rather impale the little bastards on a pike as a warning to all the others a la Vlad Tepes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlad_the_Impaler [wikipedia.org] Vlad the Impaler
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @07:30PM
That's a pretty good description of how to skin a deer, or an elk, too - just, everything is one or two orders of magnitude larger.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 02 2018, @11:20PM
Isn't step 1 "Kill squirrel"?
(Score: 3, Interesting) by nobu_the_bard on Thursday May 03 2018, @12:00AM
While I personally will not be employing your methods, I am glad knowing somewhere out there someone has committed the appropriate level of dedication to their destruction and found a way to benefit at the same time.
(Score: 2) by legont on Thursday May 03 2018, @12:29AM (1 child)
I was told that spraying the area with coyote piss works wonders. Did not try it myself though yet. I have an issue with squirrels and with cats that killed most of my birds pure for sports (cats are not native to America so birds have no natural defense).
Anyway, I just ordered a slingshot and will try to revive my childhood skills on both. While I am sure cats will be gone, the little tree rats have an extremely short memory. You can kill one and her mate will come back in a few hours. Therefore I am going to try nonlethal clay pellets.
"Wealth is the relentless enemy of understanding" - John Kenneth Galbraith.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday May 03 2018, @10:23AM
Cats of the Felis genus? true, but not true of those of the Leopardus genus, Lynx genus or Puma genus.
Oh, come on, there are other mammalian ground predators in the US who include birds in their diet - Bobcats, Coyotes, Martens, Minks, Ferrets, Raccoons, Skunks to name some, we're not talking about Stephens Island wrens [wikipedia.org] here..
I do appreciate what you're getting at though, the other predators listed above are part of the 'native' North American ecosystem whereas the domestic cat isn't.
Kudos for opting for the non-lethal solution, to stop the squirrels feasting on the bird food we put out over the winter, the food was heavily laced with cayenne and chilli powder, birds don't mind the chilli, squirrels and other mammals however...(though, as always, there are the usual exceptions [telegraph.co.uk], and I'm not upping the ante by wasting any Bhut Jolokia on the buggers...)