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Before He Died, Ötzi the Iceman Ate a Greasy, Fatty Meal
We know quite a bit about Ötzi the Iceman, the 5,300-year-old individual whose remarkably well-preserved remains were found in the Italian Alps in 1991. We know that Ötzi was murdered; he was shot with an arrow that went through his armpit and into his subclavian artery. We know that he was covered in tattoos, that he had sharpened his tools shortly before he was killed, that he had a gravelly voice, that he was lactose intolerant. And now, as Laura Geggel reports for Live Science, researchers have pieced together a picture of what Ötzi ate just before he died: a hearty, fatty meal.
In a study published recently in Current Biology [open, DOI: 10.1016/j.cub.2018.05.067] [DX], researchers explain how they used microscopic techniques to analyze the contents of Ötzi's stomach; the team was comprised of experts in the studies of genetic material, fats, protein and metabolism.
[...] The team was able to identify 167 animal and plant proteins in Ötzi's stomach, and they also determined the components of his last meal: cereals made from einkorn wheat, along with red deer and ibex meat. Notably, Ötzi had also eaten a hefty serving of ibex fat; according to George Dvorsky of Gizmodo, 46 percent of his stomach contents was made up of animal fat residues.
(Score: 0, Offtopic) by realDonaldTrump on Sunday July 15 2018, @01:57PM (11 children)
Bill Clinton -- great friend of mine and a member of one of my clubs -- was screwing Gennifer for 12 years. And we all do stuff like that, we're not babies. But he went on TV -- on 60 Minutes -- with Crooked Hillary to deny it.
But, Ricky Ray Rector. Very foolish guy, he shot himself in the brain, he didn't die. And probably he shot another guy who did die. He's a murderer, right? But VERY DUMB because a lot of his brain went SPLAT!! And Bill said, "let's execute this guy, I'll watch!" Guy's last meal, he had a delicious piece of pecan pie. If you're ever in the South, be sure to try the pecan pie, it's one of our greatest desserts. Anyway he says to the guard, "set that one aside for later, I'll finish it later." Which shows you just how dumb he was. I love death penalty, we need death penalty. But that one, not so great, right? Because death penalty is supposed to teach a guy a lesson. But, the guy that did terrible things, that guy was gone. Mostly gone. Brains all over the floor. And the guy that was left didn't know what the hell was going on. Very different person, he lost a lot of brains and lost a lot of his mind. But folks stopped talking about Gennifer. Big win for Bill!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 15 2018, @03:53PM (3 children)
I voted for you to keep Hellary away, but... Please don't procreate.
(Score: -1, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 15 2018, @04:45PM (2 children)
Too late! That incel GP has already had numerous children, all of whom I am certain are also incels! Except for Ivanka. Obviously the male offspring inherit the status of incel. However, as we know, incel is a status that only those without wombs may possess. We would need to demonstrate that Ivanka's reproductive system is lacking somehow: we must measure her clitoris to ensure it is not too large, and we must ensure her menstruation is regular.
Yet this leaves us yet with a conundrum, because Ivanka has given birth. Perhaps we should investigate whether there was medical technology involved. Did she nurse the babies with her own milk? We know that it is only a matter of time until transsexuals are giving live birth, and certainly there must be some way available to us, should that happen, to demonstrate that transsexuals remain, essentially¹, men. If we can innovate such logic, then we may apply it to Ivanka Trump. If we can demonstrate that, despite giving birth, Ivanka Trump is, essentially, a man, then we will be able to also declare him an incel!
Once we have a sufficiently inclusive definition of incel, we will be able to pursue jihad against the incels! Death to the unbelievers! Death to incels! Police be upon them!
I wonder what Ötzi would think of all of this. The idea of retroactive consent would not be innovated for another 5,300 years, and at that time, it was a much simpler matter for a boy to shed his status of incel and become a man by grabbing a woman by the pussy and forcing himself upon her.
(Woe be unto my ipid's karma! Looks like we also have some bad cyber this morning with at least the site's stylesheet.)
¹ Gender essentialism
(Score: 1, Offtopic) by Azuma Hazuki on Sunday July 15 2018, @07:12PM (1 child)
Just out of curiosity, did you ever ask a woman on a date who turned out to be trans or something and it left you scarred? You are *obsessed* with this stuff. Why is masculinity so damn fragile?
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 0, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 15 2018, @09:57PM
No, I have not had that happen. I don't think so anyway. I often have a sixth sense as concerns other people's brain sex, so I am often not surprised in those matters. It is a gift from the Goddess who called me.
One person I dated later transitioned to live as a woman, and I materially supported her decision. We are still good friends. As it turns out, a component of sexual attraction is chemical and thus influenced by hormonal transition, so we were not able to be romantically involved after her transition.
There was once a trans man I worked with, and if we had not been co-workers, I might have pursued a relationship with him, alas.
Masculinity is fragile to those who do not understand the neurological origins of brain sex. Unfortunately, it is our alt-right comrades who are most at risk for failing to understand the role of brain sex and thus iterating on increasingly absurd, violent, and frankly psychopathic constructions in search of authentic masculinity.
However, they must only click their silver shoes together three times and remember that their masculinity was only ever where it has always been, as an essential component of existence as a gendered, sexual being. If only we could convince them that ideal masculinity is to be found in the darmok-ism, "Gilgamesh and Enkidu at Uruk." This can also be found in contemporary fiction through Aragorn's journey, which is essentially a reconstruction of the Iron John myth. The hands of the king are healing hands. However, without understanding that inherent, authentic masculinity is already granted by the very neurological origins of gender, masculinity becomes an externalized quest, and attributes such as the healing hands are dismissed as potentially feminine. Thus the healing hands are alienated from the construction of masculinity.
How can any kind of construction of masculinity that does not involve healing hands possibly not be fragile? (I should perhaps call attention to @realDonaldTrump's hands, which are clearly not large enough to be healing hands.) If only they would listen to the mythology! Or at least watch Gurren Lagann.
All of that, however, may have a certain heterosexual context I have not sufficiently separated from my analysis. Indeed, folklore rarely has much to say about people who are not heterosexual and cisgender.
(Score: -1, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 15 2018, @04:20PM
Yeah, we remember her. Fortunately, the evangelicals and reactionary feminists are willing to look the other way when it's an R teamer demonstrating sexual virility.
Jennifer Flowers shows us a curious contradiction as concerns incels. However, perhaps these ideas on the part of the ctrl-left had not been fully realized at the time with the innovation of retroactive consent. If we apply retroactive consent to both Stormy Daniels and Jennifer Flowers, we can see that both @realDonaldTrump and Slick Willie are both incels!
However, the public reaction to such incidents may also demonstrate why the (possibly homophobic) slur incel is not such a bright idea. May the ctrl-left observe @realDonaldTrump, who is certainly not an incel in the mind of the patriarchy! He just grabs them by the pussy, as any alpha male is wont to do!
Here is a potential problem for the ctrl-left. While we have established that Slick Willie is an incel, how will we create any kind of sea change to supersede patriarchal social hierarchy--within which @realDonaldTrump is man who does not live in his mother's basement, is sexually accomplished with women, and is thus imminently qualified to speak about women's bodies--with ctrl-left social hierarchy wherein both @realDonaldTrump and Slick Willie may occupy their basement-dweller status of incel as determined by their sexual histories?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 15 2018, @04:29PM
That's the syphillis talking.
(Score: 3, Touché) by captain normal on Sunday July 15 2018, @05:34PM (4 children)
Damn it...I see a story that has nothing to with politics and after RTFA I clicked to look at the comments. This stupid prick who pretends (or is the Asshole in Chief or his staff) to be Donald Trump spouting off on something totally off topic. This nut is no better than the perverted AC who posts sick snuff stories. Hell for all I know they could be the same person. They are both demented trolls who seem to want to destroy this site. Like evil minded teenagers who just want to fuck with people.
I vote for summary execution.
Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts"- --Daniel Patrick Moynihan--
(Score: 3, Touché) by Bot on Sunday July 15 2018, @06:15PM
> I vote for summary execution.
chmod a+x trump
happy now, mr. hater?
Account abandoned.
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Sunday July 15 2018, @06:33PM
I said my tweet was off topic, it's not totally off topic. Because it's about a guy's last meal. And just like the story, I tweeted about the last meal of a guy that was killed. Which, possibly, you didn't see because you didn't read it. So many folks -- like very very disrespectful Low Energy @captain normal -- don't make Subs, don't read the stories, don't read the tweets, don't subscribe. Down mod very harshly, COMPLETELY unfairly. And write VERY DUMB tweets. Complaining about the rest of us that have something to say. Because, "oh, it's that guy Donald again, I can't stand him because he's Republican!" All you know how to do is OBSTRUCT. Very sad!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 16 2018, @12:28AM (1 child)
realDonaldTrump here on SN is a goldmine and in no way should be compared to that creepy bastard who tells those lame-ass fuck-up tales.
(Score: 2) by Bot on Monday July 16 2018, @07:59PM
> realDonaldTrump here on SN is
why do you talk in third person about yourself?
Account abandoned.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Bot on Sunday July 15 2018, @06:11PM (3 children)
I recall about poor lil guy. They found seeds in his intestines and for a translation error the rumor that semen was found in his ass circulated wildly.
Account abandoned.
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Sunday July 15 2018, @06:59PM
Our Law Enforcement can tell when there's spooge, spit, blood, pussy juice. They can tell them apart. Because of very special chemicals. Very unique chemicals. And for a long time, they could only say "yes" or "no" about that. Yes the spooge was there, no it wasn't. Same for the others. Now, as everyone knows, they can tell whose it was. With the DNA test. For which we need 2 or 3 things to compare. The swab of the victim, the swab from the suspect, the one that we don't know who it's from. With a guy that died 5,000 years ago, probably very hard to find the other guy. The one that shot his load. But I think you could tell, oh, this is another guy's DNA. Or, it's from the same guy, he could get into his own butthole, he was able to do that. I haven't seen that, I've heard about it. Very impressive if a guy can do that!
I'll tell you, we're doing that test on the illegals, the folks from Mexico. From Central America. Don't worry, our taxpayers don't pay for it. The illegals pay. I hear it's about $800. We have a Cyber Data Base, just like California has for all the babies that are born there. Just like New York (my home state) has for the babies that are born there -- that's also for every baby. And we can tell, is this the parent, is this the child, do they match up? A lot of times they don't match. Because it's somebody bringing in the child for sex trafficking. For sex work, if you want to be politically correct. And we don't give that child back, we deport the child separately from the crook. And possibly save that child from a HORRIBLE life in America!
(Score: 2) by driverless on Monday July 16 2018, @04:24AM (1 child)
They had McDonalds 5,000 years ago?
(Score: 2) by Bot on Monday July 16 2018, @07:56PM
It was called big club ongo's - that is the only difference. Oh wait another difference is that they served actual meat.
Account abandoned.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 15 2018, @09:30PM
The link doesn't mention what I find to be the most interesting of those: A copper ax. [google.com]
-- OriginalOwner_ [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 3, Insightful) by legont on Monday July 16 2018, @01:24AM (1 child)
I mean when was the last time you could afford a full stomach of goat and deer meat? I admit i never had a chance.
He should have cut his carb intake thought, than his reaction time might had just saved him.
"Wealth is the relentless enemy of understanding" - John Kenneth Galbraith.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 16 2018, @03:19AM
I was thinking about the ribs I had this afternoon. They were excellent (cooked 3 hours at 250°F, brushed on sauce, cooked additional ½ hour), but yet venison is the best kind of meat I have ever had.
It is a shame that increasing human population necessitates farming and domestication, which seems to take something essential out of the meat.