SoylentNews is people
SoylentNews
from the just-because-it's-natural-doen't-mean-it's-safe dept.
Have you ever been attacked by a wild animal? What happened? Your humble editor has so far succumbed only to being sprayed by a skunk. Weeks later — much to my dismay (and anyone around me) — after heavy exertion, those putrid oils were still coming out of my pores!
What prompted the opening query? We had three(!) different story submissions about animal attacks... be careful out there!
Bald Eagle Attacks Woman Along Lake Superior -- Sott.net
Bald Eagle attacks woman along Lake Superior:
The aggressive bald eagle was seen attacking the woman Thursday morning just 100 yards away from the Cascade Lodge and Restaurant along Highway 61 in Lutsen.
Head Kitchen Manager Bernie Banks ran to help the woman — a guest at the lodge — using his chef's jacket to safely stop the raptor from charging on.
"I just took off my jacket and threw it over him and tried my best to get him off of her while not hurting the bird or hurting her anymore without me getting hurt, alright," Banks said.
[...] "It was terrifying. I'm just thankful it was a young bird and not a full grown bird because it was huge and strong. It was something else," Banks said.
The woman was not severely injured thanks in part to the jeans on her legs.
"He had both of his claws in her. He was trying to get at her with is[sic] beak. I just happened to top[sic] get my jacket over his head in time because he was trying. I think it would have been pretty bad if he would have latched on to her with his beak," Banks said.
More details at: AP and Duluth News Tribune.
Bison Pulls Off Woman's Jeans in Attack at US State Park Caught on Video
Bison pulls off woman's jeans in attack at US state park caught on video:
The incident took place at Custer State Park in South Dakota on Wednesday and was filmed by Jo Reed, who was also visiting the park.
In the footage, that Ms Reed uploaded to Facebook, a group of motorcyclists could be seen gathered around a herd of bison that were crossing the road.
[...] One of the motorcyclists, a 54-year-old woman from Iowa, got off her bike and sat in the grass to take pictures of a mother bison and her calf, as the rest of the group took photos further away from the animals.
A bison then charged at the woman and hooked its horns into the belt loops of her jeans and flung her around in the air for a few seconds.
The woman was then thrown out of her jeans and she landed on the grass a few feet away, as other members of the group ran over to help her.
Custer State Park superintendent Matt Snyder told NBC that the woman was flown to a local hospital and confirmed in a separate Facebook post that she escaped serious injury.
[...] Chris Geremia, Yellowstone's senior bison biologist, said: "Bison are wild animals that respond to threats by displaying aggressive behaviours like pawing the ground, snorting, bobbing their head, bellowing, and raising their tail. If that doesn't make the threat (in this instance it was a person) move away, a threatened bison may charge."
He added: "To be safe around bison, stay at least 25 yards away, move away if they approach, and run away or find cover if they charge."
Bald Eagle Takes Down Government Drone
Bald eagle takes down government drone:
A bald eagle took down a government drone at a Michigan lake last month, state officials confirmed on Thursday.
On 21 July, environmental quality analyst Hunter King was piloting a Phantom 4 Pro Advanced quadcopter drone over Lake Michigan to map the erosion of its shoreline.
When he noticed that his connection to it started to fade, Mr King commanded that the drone come back to him, but a few seconds later the device started to spiral down towards the lake below as a bird flew away close by.
[...] Two bird watchers who were visiting the lake said they saw an eagle attack an object before flying away uninjured, according to the Michigan Department of Environment, Great Lakes, and Energy.
After studying the footage filmed by the drone and the data it collected, the department concluded that the device fell from 162ft in the air into the lake after a bald eagle tore off its propeller.
The department added that the incident "could have been a territorial squabble with the electronic foe, or just a hungry eagle."
Original Submission #1 Original Submission #2 Original Submission #3
(Score: 3, Funny) by MostCynical on Sunday August 16 2020, @08:11AM (6 children)
Bison was just horny.
"I guess once you start doubting, there's no end to it." -Batou, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @08:52AM
When is Grandpa Joe not horny?
Oh, you said 'Bison'.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Booga1 on Sunday August 16 2020, @10:28AM (1 child)
LOL, yeah, tourists often don't read those bison pickup lines well. They think they're being friendly and the bison get all worked up! No wonder things got so out of hand!
Tourists have no clue about wildlife. Many don't have the respect they should, but it's mostly just plain ignorance. One of my favorite tales of the absurd was this post: https://www.dpreview.com/forums/post/28326791 [dpreview.com]
(Score: 3, Funny) by krishnoid on Monday August 17 2020, @08:47PM
Well, there's a pair of them that come out at twolf o' clock.
(Score: 2) by deadstick on Sunday August 16 2020, @01:20PM (1 child)
But...but...I thought it was a government bison!
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Monday August 17 2020, @08:49PM
"I'm from the government and I'm obviously here to help! Stop struggling or I'll have to charge you (with resisting arrest)!"
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @03:08PM
That bison is probably going to wind up on some Registered Pants Offender list.
(Score: 1) by MIRV888 on Sunday August 16 2020, @08:52AM
Redtail hawks are territorial as hell (in Louisville KY).
They're also .
(Score: 1) by Linatux on Sunday August 16 2020, @08:55AM
Much worse to come!
(Score: 1) by Vokbain on Sunday August 16 2020, @09:05AM (3 children)
I've been attacked by red-winged blackbirds many times while walking. They're crazy fuckers during nesting season.
I've also been stung by wasps a few times. One of those times I ran over part of their nest with a lawnmower. I assume the only reason it was smashed up and half of it was in the way of the lawnmower to begin with was because a red-winged blackbird fucked it up. Crazy fuckers. Anyways, one of the wasps stung me on the face right under my eye, and it swelled up like crazy, enough that we went to the hospital to make sure I wasn't going to die or anything.
I really don't like those birds.
The wasp thing probably wasn't their fault. But I blame them anyways.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Sunday August 16 2020, @06:05PM (2 children)
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 17 2020, @04:33PM (1 child)
Huh. I see robins in my yard in every season except winter, and have never seen them attack a window. Maybe I should go wash the windows.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Monday August 17 2020, @05:17PM
(Score: 0, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @09:21AM (9 children)
What is this shit doing in SN?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @09:39AM (7 children)
Fuck knows, sacred bird of American nationalism, I guess.
(Score: 2) by aristarchus on Sunday August 16 2020, @10:16AM (6 children)
Let's see, there was an aristarchus submission with a bald eagle, oh, yes, here https://soylentnews.org/submit.pl?op=viewsub&subid=38056 [soylentnews.org] Attacked a pacific Giant octopus, and had to be rescued by humans, so not accepted by SN eds. And, it was pre-pandemic. Everything is different now, except for Bison taking out very stupid tourists.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @12:35PM (5 children)
Victor Davis Hanson has drawn allusions between Trump and the Greek tragic hero [youtube.com] (13 minute mark).
(Score: 2) by HiThere on Sunday August 16 2020, @02:00PM (4 children)
I never thought of Narcissus as a tragic hero.
Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
(Score: -1, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @03:22PM (2 children)
Moreso than our Hellenic half-wit.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by aristarchus on Sunday August 16 2020, @07:18PM (1 child)
The key to a tragic figure is some fatal flaw, often a lack of knowledge, that in the Dunning-Koeger sense, leads to hubris and o'er reaching. Herakles is more the Trump version: for all his strength, he was not to bright, accidentally killed the wife of a host once, had to go down to Hades and bring her back. Awkward! And then the whole "accidentally killing is own family", in an act of madness? Well, Trump.
Oedipus is interesting in this regard. His flaw was being so smart, thought he knew what was going on, and how to manage it. Made the Theban stock market reach all time highs, vanquised the Corona Sphinx, married the Queen. Hunky-dory! He was called Οἰδίπους or Oedi-pus, meaning swollen or wounded foot. But an alternative etymology claims the name actually means "lame knowledge", from εἶδος and πούς, or, that poor Oedipus could not see the facts right before his eyes, so when the stock market crashed because of the moral pollution of his marriage and arrogance, he had to poke out his Fox News.
Not knowing you shouldn't walk up to American bison for a photo session? Not sure if that is a tragic case of lack of knowledge, but certainly is lame.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @09:27PM
Indeed, I never meant to imply you were not a tragic figure [youtube.com] in that sense. It's the hero moniker in dispute.
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Monday August 17 2020, @08:51PM
Tragic story + asshole = Tragic American hero. Why do you hate America?
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Sunday August 16 2020, @09:21PM
You mean, because there was no Mighty Buzzard involved? :-)
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 2) by RamiK on Sunday August 16 2020, @09:22AM
[1] Self defense while dodging discharged batteries projectiles I forgot to recharge for the 3rd time in a row.
[2][3] See #1.
compiling...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @10:09AM (1 child)
Just last night I was bitten by a mosquito.
Not spectacular, I know, but it is a wild animal that attacked me.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @02:25PM
Last night yo momma was pretty wild.
(Score: 5, Funny) by BsAtHome on Sunday August 16 2020, @10:28AM (3 children)
a) Human Woman invades Bald Eagle territory. Bald Eagle defends it by attacking woman.
b) Human Woman invades Bison territory. Bison defends it and takes attacker's skin as warning.
c) Human Government Drone invades Bald Eagle territory. Bald Eagle defends it by taking down offending drone.
That is what probably happened. Why do all those other headlines blame "wild" creatures for inappropriate (wild) human behavior? Oh, yes, because... emotions... My message to nature: Keep on attacking the invaders; maybe you need to become a bit more sneaky and lethal.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @02:26PM
In other news, Man attacks woman. Man pulls off woman's jeans. Man takes down drone. How about you?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 17 2020, @04:32AM
That eagle was just being patriotic. He got sick and tired of being spied on and wanted to take a stand against the overreaching government. I wish we had more eagles like that. Hence the American Bald Eagle is our national bird.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Monday August 17 2020, @05:22PM
(Score: 4, Funny) by Marand on Sunday August 16 2020, @10:54AM (9 children)
Left the gym one day and there was a canadian goose hanging out by the car, just chilling near the door. Fucker refused to move and got hyper aggressive if I got anywhere near the vehicle, would just start making this horrible hissing sound and spreading its wings out trying to look intimidating if I tried. I guess it was tired of flying and wanted to drive for a change.
It never quite escalated into an animal attack though, because I had enough sense to wait until it got bored instead of provoking the thing further. Anyway, any time I've seen them up close, interacting with any other animals or people, it's always been the same: canadian geese are large, feathery assholes that think they're still dinosaurs.
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @12:00PM
I have seen the term "cobra chicken" used to describe Canada geese lately. :)
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @03:10PM
A Canadian goose charged me when I was riding my bike once. He knocked me over by body slamming the front wheel and strutted away.
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @03:53PM
The little fucker charged me. I grabbed it by neck, and body-slammed it. Had roast goose for dinner.
(Ok, I'm lying - I ran away and had McD for dinner).
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @06:09PM
You pissed him off by calling him a Canadian Goose. All geese are mean including Canada Geese.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by sjames on Sunday August 16 2020, @06:27PM (2 children)
Every year, all Canadians participate in a ritual to transfer all of their rudeness into a goose and then send it away.
(Score: 0, Disagree) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @06:41PM
Canada remain assholes afterward. It's like spoonful out of the sea.
(Score: 2) by Marand on Monday August 17 2020, @01:54AM
And in doing so, they all fly to the US and deposit it there. This explains so much.
(Score: 4, Funny) by PartTimeZombie on Sunday August 16 2020, @09:48PM (1 child)
I saw a bloke defend his child from a goose by punching it in the head. It was hilarious, the goose had no idea what to do next, and just staggered off.
Stupid geese are not even nice to eat. (From what I have been told, anyway).
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @10:23PM
It's like bacon version of chicken.
Well, actually, that's domesticated ducks. Guess geese are more valuable for the feathers.
(Score: 3, Funny) by KritonK on Sunday August 16 2020, @11:20AM (1 child)
I was once chased by a tortoise in a park. For some reason, it had become obsessed with my shoes, and wanted to bite them. These animals can run surprisingly fast, if all you know about tortoises comes from Aesop's fable.
I found the situation very amusing, leading the tortoise around in circles and letting it get the occasional nibble. I think that in the end we both got tired of the game and quit.
(Score: 3, Funny) by krishnoid on Monday August 17 2020, @08:58PM
It doesn't know pity, or remorse, or fear. And it will not - stop - EVER [youtube.com] until you stop chilling out on its lawn.
(Score: 1) by isocelated on Sunday August 16 2020, @11:26AM
So, par for the course for 2020.
Thankfully I have not yet been attacked or disrobed by wild animals this year.
(Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Sunday August 16 2020, @11:57AM (1 child)
Neighbors have two little yappy dogs, and a big yard - much of which is closer to our house than theirs.
We have a Traxxas Bandit that I put over the fence once and ran around the yard chasing the yappers... now, anytime they see it they run back to their house, I don't even have to put it on their side of the fence.
🌻🌻 [google.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @01:38PM
Small dogs can be targeted by birds of prey. I think my neighbor's dog had an eye gouged out by one.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Sunday August 16 2020, @02:49PM
well, the mosquitos are like two inches across in my home state, so ...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @02:52PM
Always will remember that day a magpie chased me down the street on my pushbike, slid into the front yard and got inside without injury. Then 30min later, out watering the garden, thwump, little bastard got me in side of head. Remember it most for the crazed look in it’s eye when i had looked back while cycling, got the freeze frame stuck in mind of angry bird coming at me. Never gloat to a bird.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @03:07PM (2 children)
Can't we find a better source than Signs of the Times [sott.net]?
(Score: 0, Redundant) by Runaway1956 on Sunday August 16 2020, @03:15PM (1 child)
Maybe, maybe not, probably not. With mainstream media doing #wrongtrump, and otherwise suffering from TDS, where are we to get our news?
All snark aside, sit back and enjoy. Mother Nature is tired of a lot of our shit, so she is sending her agents to deal with us. WTF did you think Covid-19 was all about?
(Score: 0, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @08:35PM
Truth is Redundant. That's why we have Fake News to the rescue! People got tired of hearing the truth.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Phoenix666 on Sunday August 16 2020, @05:53PM (3 children)
For a period of time I kept hanging planters on the fire escape outside our kitchen window in Brooklyn because it was pleasant to have a profusion of flowers out there in the spring. One Saturday afternoon I had opened the window and screen to give them plant food, and a squirrel darted through the corner and stood on the edge of the stove. Just behind me at my right elbow was a bowl full of pistachios I had taken out to enjoy. The squirrel alternated between staring at them and me, his tail quivering. I wasn't afraid, because I played D&D and know the meaning of courage, so I stared right back and growled, "Make my day, Squirrel." He feinted left, I countered. He tried to dart under my arm, I body-checked him. I grabbed, caught a piece of his tail; and he fled to the fire escape and chittered angrily at me. I flipped him the bird, slammed the window shut, and sat right in front of the window savoring each and every pistachio.
He got the message. Never saw that little bastard again.
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @06:05PM
Probably thought you were nuts.
(Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 16 2020, @11:03PM (1 child)
Phoenix666 dominates a squirrel and turns it into a heroic story. Mmhmmm.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Monday August 17 2020, @05:24PM