I think we should all toss in a few dollars to fund this Kickstarter campaign. Only in the age of the Internet can we actually turn the tables on the people who censor us!
"Make the Censors Watch 'Paint Drying'" aims to fund a film that will be submitted to the British Board of Film Classification. The more money is raised, the longer the film that some poor censor will have to endure.
As film maker Charlie Lyne describes the project:
The British Board of Film Certification (previously known as the British Board of Film Censors) was established in 1912 to ensure films remained free of 'indecorous dancing', 'references to controversial politics' and 'men and women in bed together', amongst other perceived indiscretions.
Today, it continues to censor and in some cases ban films, while UK law ensures that, in effect, a film cannot be released in British cinemas without a BBFC certificate.
Each certificate costs around £1000 for a feature film of average length. ... Luckily, there's a flipside to all of this: while filmmakers are required to pay the BBFC to certify their work, the BBFC are also required to sit through whatever we pay them to watch.
That's why I'm Kickstarting a BBFC certificate for my new film Paint Drying — a single, unbroken shot of white paint drying on a brick wall.
As of the time of submission [2015-11-19 03:05:43], the total is up to £1,799 ($2747 US). The handy web site here tells us that that will finance 3 hours, 59 minutes and 25 seconds of paint drying action!
(Score: 4, Insightful) by tftp on Friday November 20 2015, @08:59AM
Also, don't they have the fast forward button? If one wants to force the censors to watch something, he'd assemble the film from individual still frames of photos and other images taken from the Internet. The censors would have to inspect each frame one by one! Don't forget the audio also, mixed from various noises and random words in all languages.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by KritonK on Friday November 20 2015, @11:15AM
Perhaps they can fast-forward the video, but what about the audio? There could be profanities hiding in there! To ensure that the film is watched, it should therefore have an audio track. It should be as boring as possible; imagine having to watch paint dry for more than seven hours, listening to someone drone on... and on... and on...
(Score: 4, Touché) by Phoenix666 on Friday November 20 2015, @03:25PM
Feed the 2015 tax code into a text-to-speech app so they can enjoy what they do to the taxpayers.
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by richtopia on Friday November 20 2015, @04:32PM
VLC does a really good job with time stretching. Really great for lectures (playback quickly until you hit the relevant part). You could probably watch paint dry at 4x speed and not miss any profanities.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audio_time-scale/pitch_modification [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Friday November 20 2015, @04:05PM
Beat me to it.
Write a script which randomly slaps together pics under Creative Commons, with attributions, and a random sentence picked from a random 3-letter.com website.
It won't be boring...
(Score: 2) by Fnord666 on Friday November 20 2015, @10:01PM
A sociopath would alternate light and dark based photos so that they flicker at seizure inducing speeds. Record the audio backward to truly grate on the nerves. add random bursts of chalkboard scraped with fingernails just for kicks and some 18khz for the younger crowd.