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Robert Platt Bell writes at his blog "Living Stingy" about Lenny, a library of videos which play recordings to telemarketers trying to sell services (or scams). Lenny picks up calls and answers them with pre-recorded audio clips from a doddering Australian man, sometimes keeping telemarketers on the phone for over 20 minutes. "Lenny confounds and confuses, but sounds totally real," writes Bell. "Some telemarketers talk to him for nearly a half-hour, before they figure out that he's either a recording - or senile."
According to developer Mango, Lenny is a program that uses voice recognition techniques to detect when a telemarketer is through speaking. When Lenny doesn't hear anything, he says his next prompt. If the telemarketer doesn't speak, or speaks too quietly, Lenny will ask them to speak up. This makes him sound more "real". After the 16th prompt, Lenny starts over. The current "record" of sorts is a pair of telemarketers who were kept occupied by Lenny for over 38 minutes. Want to talk to Lenny, or transfer a telemarketer to him? Here's how.
But who is the real Lenny? According to Internet chatter he's an actor in Brisbane, Australia — though clearly of English origin — who made his recordings for a company that wanted to respond in kind to time-wasting callers. About 2013, however, the original Lenny stopped working, so Mango and other tech-types decided to recreate him based on the published recordings. "The dishonest telemarketers are the ones that Lenny is really intended for," explains Mango.
(Score: 2, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 20 2015, @04:58PM
I wrote one up for James from Comcast Business is 'so mad' that Lenny is a recording [youtube.com]:
LENNY: Hello, th-this is Lenny.
JAMES: Hello, Lenny, uh, wh-wh, uh, James from Comcast Business.
LENNY: Er, sr-sorry, I-I can barely hear ya there.
JAMES: Oh, I'm sorry, yes, James with Comcast Business, I-I-I was trying to get in touch with Mr. Rip [redacted].
LENNY: Yes, yes yes.
JAMES: Oh, okay, y'know, I-I thought I'd just spoken with a Lenny [redacted], but yes, Mr. [redacted], I wanted to reach out to you, um, my name's James with Comcast, I'm part of the follow-up team here, and I wanted to reach out 'cause I've sent over some information to your establishment, uh, [redacted] Avenue, in Nashville, um, and I wanted to see if you were considering switching over to Comcast Business Class at all, um, regarding like your phone line, high speed internet, that sorta thing.
LENNY: Oh, good, yes, yes, yes.
JAMES: Because we're actually flanking you, um, on both sides of the street, so pretty much, uh, you know, I want to see if, uh, there was any possibility that you possibly would give Comcast Business a hard look. We are definitely offering comparable prices, uh, for phone lines and high speed internet, uh, thirty dollars per line for phone lines and uh, that includes coast-to-coast calling, so anywhere in the US, Canada, and US territories, and uh, for the high speed internet, we're looking at, you know, comparable prices for high speed internet. Uh, let me ask you this: I know that the foods... uh, store, is that a market?
LENNY: Uh, yes, yes. Er, someo-someone did -- did s-say last week -- someone did call last week about the same... thing, w-was that you?
JAMES: No no, this is a brand new call from me sir, uh, I'm not quite sure who tried to get in touch with you... oh, Gregory Brown. Uh, yeah, he called on the second. What was that, Monday? I believe I have -- I have it down that he called on Monday, but uh, um, in short, uh, for the most part, I just want to find out your needs. So as far as like, I know about your business, uh, what about your internet needs, did you need high speed internet at your uh, location?
LENNY: Y-yh, sorry, wh-what was your name again?
JAMES: I'm sorry, James W. from Comcast Business.
LENNY: Well, it-it's funny that you should call, because my third eldest, Larissa, sh-she was talking about this just, just last week. And, y-y'know, she is, she is very smart, I'll -- I'll give her that, because, y'know, she was the first in the family, to go to university, and she passed with distinctions, y'know, we're all quite proud of her, yes, yes. So, she was saying I should look, y'know, get into the... look into this sorta thing. Um, so, what more can you tell me about it?
JAMES: Well what I can tell you sir, is that with, uh, the high speed internet that we're offering right now, it's actually, uh, the price has been slashed in half, it's uh, it's a fiber connection, so it's gonna be a solid constant signal, we're up, 99, 99.95 percent of the time, um, so that aids you, uh, in the sort of, um, having the peace of mind of knowing that, that's a solid service for one, um, and then two, you're getting the best, um, price right now, for it, that is comparable to any AT&T, or CenturyLink lines, uh, they usually deal with DSL, which, they charge you for a signal, but DSL, the signal depends upon how close you are, to the central office. With us, with fiber, you have a dedicated line. So you're always gonna get, the promised speeds that you're paying towards.
And then also, with the phone service, is that we have, um, they come as a package deal, and, um, the rates that I'm showing you, there's no overages. So you're not gonna be billed for, calling anywhere in the US, Canada, US territories (coughs) I'm sorry. But um, if you, i-if you call overseas, that's when, because we're using another person's network, another company's network, that's when, you're gonna see, um, charges for long-distance, if you call uh, overseas at all. But uh, that also follows through for the fax line, that also follows for that, say, um, and then, of course, Comcast brings video services, but I know it's a business so, you may not need business needs but we also have that.
So in short, we, I mean, what we're able to do, is definitely give you a service that you can rely upon, uh, i-if it's as far as your internet needs. We're definitely meeting and I would say exceeding a lot of companies' expectations, as far as what they're able to do, and um, possibly even save you money, from what your current bill is, especially if you look over a course of a relationship of twelve months, or twenty-four months, what a lot of people like to have, because um, just from a business standpoint, you want, once you like a price, you can count on that price, day in day out, versus saying, "okay, well, I faxed something to... no, California, or even Canada", y'know, I've even heard nightmare stories of getting a bill that's 80 dollars from what it traditionally was just because they're faxing long-distance and things of that nature. So, with us, you're not gonna have that issue. Once the lines are installed, you can pretty much use them as you wish, and not have to worry about, uh, y'know, an outstanding bill, the following month. So tha, tha --
LENNY: Um, I'm sorry, I-I couldn't quite catch you, catch you there, wha-what was that again?
JAMES: No, I was gonna say, is uh, you can, you can count on the prices being the same day in day out, from a business standpoint, so you don't have an outstanding bill. I know with AT&T, I just talked to a customer who, he had faxed, uh, a document to, to Canada, and it turned out to be 80 bucks on his following bill. With us, you're not gonna have that issue, because you're not gonna be charged for long-distance, and, uh, to Canada, or the US territories. So, uh, that's what we're able to provide right now, so premium service, at a practical rate, in short.
LENNY: Er, uh, sorry, again?
JAMES: It's a -- it's a premium service, so we -- we're offering a service that you can use, and you have the peace of mind of knowing that you're not going to be getting overages, and not gonna be getting price hikes, after a year. A lot of AT&T customers, they get introduced to a price, but in the actual underwriting of that contract, they'll raise the rates after twelve months. That's actually in their contract, that the rate will change. With us, you're not gonna have that. Our rate is gonna be the same throughout the whole term of the contract. That's what I also wanted to point out, that when you're comparing apples to apples with our, y'know, other providers, they have that condition or that clause in their, in their contract, you're not gonna have that with us.
LENNY: Could you say that again, again please?
JAMES: Okay, (louder) am I not coming in clear, can you hear me?
LENNY: Yes, yes yes.
JAMES: Okay, what I'm saying is that with AT&T contracts, with our main competitor, they have an intro rate, for twelve months, that changes --
LENNY: Sorry, which company did you say you're calling from again?
JAMES: It's, it's AT&T, by BellSouth?
LENNY: Well, you know, here's, here's the thing, because the last time that someone called up, uh, and spoke to me, uh, on the phone, I got in quite a bit of trouble from the people here, because I went for something that I shouldn't have, uh, I probably shouldn't even be telling you that, but um, yes. I think, my eldest, Rachel, she, she wouldn't speak to me for a week. Now, y'know, that happens, y'know, but that really hurt. And sometimes, in family, these things are quite important, they're more important than any, y'know, job, or phone call, or whatever it is.
JAMES: (pause) Okay. Well, I mean, what I can show you is the prices, um, that I'm able to provide at the, uh, at the service. I'll reiterate that the service is gonna be night and day compared to what you currently have. So in short, we're leaps and bounds, uh, from our com- from our competitors. We're the best service in the region, and I want to show you, um, a proposal. And show you what the market is looking like compared to what you're currently receiving, um, from your current provider, in short. So is there any way I can send you a proposal? Um, y'know, just a quick lay-out of what service would look like for your business?
LENNY: Well, y'know, sinc -- since you put it that way, I mean, you've been quite friendly and straightforward with me here, um... hello?
JAMES: (pause) Hello, yes! I'm here! Yeah?
LENNY: Hello? Are you there?
JAMES: Hello, yes, I'm here! (louder) HELLO? HELLO.
LENNY: Yes, eh, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying again?
JAMES: No no no, I was listening to you. You said I was being straightforward and uh, I mean, did you want to see the numbers I was, I was able to provide for your business?
LENNY: Well, you know, wi-with the world finances the way they are, I know, y'know, we're not allowed to spend as much, as what we were, I mean, ho-how how how is this, how is this going to book?
JAMES: Uh, well, in short, I'm gonna send you a proposal. It's a quick synopsis of what the breakdown of your business is, would get, as far as services, and pricing. If you like like the numbers that I show you, then we can take it a step further, I would get that contract signed, then I would get a survey, uh, to your location, uh, just to make sure, it's just like a pre-install, uh, just to see, if all the lines are active and live, and then, we can actually install you. So that's pretty much --
LENNY: Well, I mean, that does sound good. You have been very patient with an old man here, it's something that I've been told I should be looking at. Uh, my third eldest, Larissa, she -- I think I mentioned Larissa before? Yes, yes, she um, she says, that I should be looking for something like this, (ducks start quacking in the background) you know, what is most appropriate for, for the time, and I guess whatnot, --
JAMES: Okay, so, so --
LENNY: Sorry, could you just, hang on for one second here. Hang on.
LENNY: (Lenny shoos ducks in background, ducks stop quacking)
LENNY: Yes, so-sorry about that. Um, sorry, what were you saying there again?
JAMES: (snickers) Uh, well, uh, to say, I could send you, a proposal, of the services, I can provide, and then you can have your third eldest, Larissa, look it over with you, and if it makes sense, we can move forward with the actual service itself. So pretty much, the ball's in your court once I send it to you. And then you let me know, if you like it, in short. You know what I mean? (pause) If you like the numbers.
(at this point Lenny has ran out of canned phrases and starts looping)
LENNY: Well, it-it's funny that you should call, because my third eldest, Larissa, sh-she was talking about this just, just last week. And, y-y'know, she is, she is very smart, I'll -- I'll give her that, because, y'know, she was the first in the family, to go to university, and she passed with distinctions, y'know, we're all quite proud of her, yes, yes. So, she was saying I should look, y'know, get into the... look into this sorta thing. Um, so, what more can you tell me about it?
JAMES: W-well, what I wanna do, is, uh, could you have, um, is there a time that Larissa would be free, where you could have her give me a call, and I could relay the information to her, and then she'll relay it to you, and you guys can decide if it makes sense? Does that, would you feel comfortable with that?
LENNY: Um, I'm sorry, I-I couldn't quite catch you, catch you there, wha-what was that again?
JAMES: I was saying that if, I could relay the information to you, or Larissa, your third eldest, and then she could go over the numbers with you, and if it makes sense --
LENNY: Er, uh, sorry, again?
JAMES: The, like, the proposal. The proposal that I'm -- the contract of the actual Comcast service, for your business. [Redacted], that's your business, correct?
LENNY: Could you say that again, again please?
JAMES: I-is [redacted] your business?
LENNY: Yes, yes yes.
JAMES: Okay, so, what I was gonna say is, I could send you the proposal, and then, you and --
LENNY: Sorry, which company did you say you're calling from again?
JAMES: This is Comcast Business.
LENNY: Well, you know, here's, here's the thing, because the last time that someone called up, uh, and spoke to me, uh, on the phone, I got in quite a bit of trouble from the people here, because I went for something that I shouldn't have, uh, I probably shouldn't even be telling you that, but um, yes. I think, my eldest, Rachel, she, she wouldn't speak to me for a week. Now, y'know, that happens, y'know, but that really hurt. And sometimes, in family, these things are quite important, they're more important than any, y'know, job, or phone call, or whatever it is.
LENNY: (very long pause) Hello? Are you there?
JAMES: Um, hello? Yes.
LENNY: Yes, eh, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying again?
JAMES: Um, yes, I was saying, is there any way I could send this information to your third eldest, Larissa?
LENNY: Well, y'know, sinc -- since you put it that way, I mean, you've been quite friendly and straightforward with me here, um... hello?
JAMES: Hello, yes, I'm here.
LENNY: Hello? Are you there?
JAMES: Hello, yes, I'm here, hello? Yes, I'm here.
LENNY: Yes, eh, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying again?
JAMES: I was saying is there any way I could speak with your third eldest, Larissa?
LENNY: Well, you know, wi-with the world finances the way they are, I know, y'know, we're not allowed to spend as much, as what we were, I mean, ho-how how how is this, how is this going to book?
JAMES: (chuckles) Oh man.
LENNY: Well, I mean, that does sound good. You have been very patient with an old man here, it's something that I've been told I should be looking at. Uh, my third eldest, --
JAMES: Mr. --
LENNY: -- Larissa, she -- I think I mentioned Larissa before? Yes, yes, she um, she says, that I should be looking for --
JAMES: Hello? Hello?
LENNY: -- something like this, (ducks start quacking in the background) you know, what is most appropriate for, for the time, and I guess whatnot, -- Sorry, could you just, hang on for one second here. Hang on.
LENNY: (Lenny shoos ducks in background, ducks stop quacking)
LENNY: Yes, so-sorry about that. Um, sorry, what were you saying there again?
LENNY: H-hello?
LENNY: Hello-o?
JAMES: Hello?
LENNY: Yes, eh, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying again?
(in the meanwhile Lenny talks about his third eldest Larissa some more)
JAMES: This is a recording. I've been talking five minutes to a recording. I can't believe that. I'm so mad, man. This dude is a recording.
(unclear)
LENNY: ...all quite proud of her, yes, yes. So, she was saying I should look, y'know, get into the... look into this sorta thing. Um, so, what more can you tell me about it?
LENNY: H-hello?
LENNY: Hello-o?
LENNY: (unclear) clean up my hearing aid, h-hello? Uh yes --
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 20 2015, @05:02PM
This reddit post [reddit.com] has three more transcripts.