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As a platform for meeting people, online dating has been growing in popularity. As the dating sites were growing, there wasn't a lot of easily available data on the people who used them to draw many conclusions from a sociological standpoint, but now that the numbers of people who use these sites is in the tens of millions, that is changing. When looking at the balance between choosing traits that make for a good relationship match verses eliminating people based upon negative attributes, aka "deal breakers", it appears people predominately employ the latter strategy.
A group of sociologists from the University of Michigan led by Elizabeth Bruch obtained data from one of the large dating sites and they looked at a randomly-selected group of people from New York City to determine what factors in their decision-making process led them to select or eliminate potential mates.
Bruch and her team divided the rules into two broad categories, "deal breakers" and "deal makers," used to exclude or include people for the next level of contact. Bruch wondered: Is mate selection like a job interview process, where the person with the best combination of positive factors wins? Or is it more like a Survivor-style reality show, where contestants are picked off one by one for a single failing?
Among the deal breakers are:
- No profile photo: Men and women were 20 times less likely to look at this profile.
- Smoker: A 10-fold drop in interest.
- Age difference: Young women (20 yo) were 10X less likely to look at a profile of a man ten years older than her, older women (45 yo) were 10% more likely to consider a man ten years older than her, and men overall preferred women younger than them.
- Height difference: Women were 10X more likely to look at a profile of a guy 17 cm (6 in) taller than her while guys were 3X more likely to look a the profile of a woman 17cm shorter than him
- Body weight: Men were less likely to view a profile of a heavy-set woman while women showed no aversion to a heavy-set guy.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Runaway1956 on Tuesday September 06 2016, @10:12AM
"This isnt about relationships. This is about using dating websites"
That statement makes no sense to me. Why do people date, anyway? They're looking for a relationship. There are some few people who go out looking to get laid, and don't want or care about building a relationship, But I suspect that even those people are secretly hoping that they meet the "perfect other".
Dating is all about sampling the prospects. Dating as about finding the perfect mate. And, deal breakers aren't really anything new.
The biggest difference between old-time blind dates, and today's electronic browsing, is that you have MORE choices, and can be more selective.
I wonder how many of you had one of those blind dates, set up by your mother, an aunt, a cousin, or school mates. "I want you to meet this girl, she's got such a sweet personality!" It's hard to say "no" to just meeting, of course. And, you have to act like a gentleman, no matter how disgusting you think she is, because she'll report back to Mama/whoever.
Meeting someone in a bar, or online, removes a lot of the social pressure that your family/freinds put on you. It's a total stranger, after all. You can break it off and leave at any point. You don't have to act like a pig in rut, but you don't have to be the perfect gentleman either. Everything is reciprocal, between just the two of you, no outside influence. Well, no outside influence at least until the point you want to meet each other's family and freinds . . .
My biggest "deal breaker" was fat girls. My mama introduced me to tons of girls - literally. I wanted a chick who could go hiking, camping, and do stuff - mama wanted a girl who could cook. Jesus - male or female, most of us gain weight anyway - why START with a fat chick? 190 pound 15 and 16 year old girls are going to weigh half a ton eventually . . . .
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 06 2016, @01:01PM
> "This isnt about relationships. This is about using dating websites"
>
> That statement makes no sense to me.
It is the difference between roads and destinations.
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 06 2016, @08:10PM
"This isnt about relationships. This is about using dating websites"
That statement makes no sense to me. Why do people date, anyway?
You are assuming that women are joining dating website in order to date. No doubt there are some, I've met quite a few. I've also have met plenty that are just on these sites to socialize. They think that they are dating, but really they just want to talk to a stranger, and have no intention of ever meeting. What they have is an interactive harlequin romance novel. If these women knew about dirtypenpals, they'd be there instead.
How can you tell the difference? In my experience, the ones that are looking for a relationship will actually respond to someone who is not in the "deal breaker" list that this study suggests. And after they respond, if there is any sort of back and forth banter, will be willing to at least meet for coffee/lunch. They also will disappear off the site after a month or so on the site, presumably because they found someone IRL.
(Score: 2) by frojack on Wednesday September 07 2016, @08:34AM
The biggest difference between old-time blind dates, and today's electronic browsing, is that you have MORE choices, and can be more selective.
I can't ever remember even once agreeing to go out on a blind date, even as a wing man for desperate buddies, let alone for mom.
Christ, that was what high school and college were all about. Getting educated was the easy part. Finding someone you still liked after you got to know them was the hard part. That and finding a way to keep gas in the car and still have money for a drinks and a movie and something to eat. Still it seemed simpler back then.
No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.