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As a platform for meeting people, online dating has been growing in popularity. As the dating sites were growing, there wasn't a lot of easily available data on the people who used them to draw many conclusions from a sociological standpoint, but now that the numbers of people who use these sites is in the tens of millions, that is changing. When looking at the balance between choosing traits that make for a good relationship match verses eliminating people based upon negative attributes, aka "deal breakers", it appears people predominately employ the latter strategy.
A group of sociologists from the University of Michigan led by Elizabeth Bruch obtained data from one of the large dating sites and they looked at a randomly-selected group of people from New York City to determine what factors in their decision-making process led them to select or eliminate potential mates.
Bruch and her team divided the rules into two broad categories, "deal breakers" and "deal makers," used to exclude or include people for the next level of contact. Bruch wondered: Is mate selection like a job interview process, where the person with the best combination of positive factors wins? Or is it more like a Survivor-style reality show, where contestants are picked off one by one for a single failing?
Among the deal breakers are:
- No profile photo: Men and women were 20 times less likely to look at this profile.
- Smoker: A 10-fold drop in interest.
- Age difference: Young women (20 yo) were 10X less likely to look at a profile of a man ten years older than her, older women (45 yo) were 10% more likely to consider a man ten years older than her, and men overall preferred women younger than them.
- Height difference: Women were 10X more likely to look at a profile of a guy 17 cm (6 in) taller than her while guys were 3X more likely to look a the profile of a woman 17cm shorter than him
- Body weight: Men were less likely to view a profile of a heavy-set woman while women showed no aversion to a heavy-set guy.
(Score: 2, Insightful) by Francis on Tuesday September 06 2016, @05:18PM
I've noticed that. I'll be just about exactly what a women claims to want and then get some lame excuse for not getting a second date.
Usually because of chemistry. There's a special section I hell for people that obsessed with chemistry. Chemistry it's something that develops over time.
The deal breakers tend to come up earlier because it's easier to share them. Why waste my time or hers if there's an obvious deal breaker? It's a lot easier too identify them than the more positive qualities.
(Score: 2) by Grishnakh on Wednesday September 07 2016, @04:22PM
Yeah, I have the exact same problem with women. I'm tall, look much younger than I am (and try to date women my own age usually, to 5 years less, I'm not chasing women 15 years younger), have a good job, don't smoke, am in excellent shape, don't have stupid pictures of bathroom selfies or a headless torso on my profile, am educated, and I'm tall (need to say it again because women seem to love it). Doesn't matter. AFAICT, women want all that, but also a guy who's extremely outgoing and gregarious and supremely confident. I'm an engineer; those qualities do not really go along with this profession. So I always fail the "chemistry" test; as you say, that develops over time, but I don't get a second chance because women are all looking for George Clooney's look and personality on the first date. It's little wonder to me why I meet so many ~40yo women who are single and never married. A mail-order bride is sounding more and more attractive, except that I really want a woman I have a lot in common with, and I doubt I'd find that with someone who barely even speaks my language. I dated a girl for a while back in college from an eastern culture and it didn't work out; the cultural differences and family issues were a real problem. Though I do have to say it does seem Asian women are more interested in men like me: thin, not bearded, no tattoos, and an engineer. These four qualities seem to be giant turn-offs for American women.