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Hinge has "swiped left" on a culture of dating apps that they say fail to foster meaningful connections. Instead, they're doubling down on efforts to help their users find genuine relationships.
The company, once a peer of Tinder, OkCupid, and Happn, has been pursuing a new look for the past nine months. Following user surveys and various pilots, the new service launched Tuesday, introducing a "story" interface Hinge says sparks five times more conversations than in the past.
Some Millennials – the target market of the proliferation of dating apps – say they aren't actually looking for relationships, but there may be many more who are. Hinge hopes to appeal to that demographic, and possibly even change the conversation about dating apps.
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The company's reincarnation was spurred by a 2015 Vanity Fair story that came down hard on dating apps, saying they encourage a culture that has destroyed romance, dating, and relationships. The article prompted Mr. McLeod to reflect that, "When I started Hinge as the first social-media-integrated dating service in 2011, this was certainly not the world I imagined."
Can they displace eHarmony as the "seeking meaningful relationship" app?
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Monday October 17 2016, @07:06PM
A lot of people won't believe your idea works. But - yes it does. Meeting people, in person, in a venue that reflects both of your interests - such as a track club. Or, at 4-H rodeos, or the local gardening center. You actually share an iterest with the people you meet in such places.
Of course, another bold course of action, is just to walk up and talk to someone who looks interesting. If, every day you see this really hot chick on your way to work as you walk from the parking lot to your office, just get there five minutes early one day, and head her off. "I see you almost every day, and I love your choice in clothes" or some such. If she doesn't shoot you down on the spot, then you can ask her to lunch, of whatever. But, stuff like that won't work for Timid Timmy.
(Score: 2) by bzipitidoo on Tuesday October 18 2016, @12:53AM
> just to walk up and talk to someone who looks interesting.
That's barely better than going out on a blind date. I tried a blind date once and it was a disaster. I knew beforehand that she had a college degree, but that was about it. Her attitude was such she might as well have not bothered with her education. I asked what sorts of books she liked to read, and she said school gave her a distaste for books and she was so glad she didn't have to read any more since she graduated. She was done with books, and learning. Ouch. The rest of the date was a big waste of time for me and her, and I regretted that there was no polite way to make an early exit.
Don't expect to be able to tell much about a woman from her looks. Yeah, sure, men can tell how hot a woman is with about a 2 second once over-- if her makeup isn't totally altering her appearance. But that's not going to tell you what she's like. Is she high maintenance, blows through money like a shark in a feeding frenzy? Is she mightily insecure and going to accuse you of cheating on her every other day and try to rip you a new one if another woman's behind enters your visual field and your eyes track the other ever so slightly? How about jealousy, does she hate people who have more of something than she does, wants to not just keep up with the Joneses but get ahead of them? Is she a nutcase who believes in some weird cult? Or maybe she's a bit mental, perhaps manic depressive and prone to throwing out perfectly good things, or has PTSD over something like automobiles and refuses to use freeways or allow others to take her onto freeways? Is she obsessive compulsive about hand washing and hygiene, will only use all natural, organic, anti-bacterial, specially formulated for sensitive skin soap, laundry detergent, dishwasher liquid, etc.? Is she manipulative, constantly trying to convince you that everything wrong is all your fault and pushing you to make amends? What about her work ethic, is she a slacker? Is she a messy slob, can't keep house at all?
You can't learn such things from mere looks. "Looks interesting", puh-leeze.
(Score: 2) by AthanasiusKircher on Tuesday October 18 2016, @12:00PM
You must be fun at parties. :)
You can't learn such things from mere looks. "Looks interesting", puh-leeze.
Yeah, and you can't often learn such things from an online profile, either. You might sometimes be able to "read between the lines," but profiles are often curated in an attempt to hide these significant flaws. And you can't learn this necessary from a friend recommendation either (have they actually lived with the person?). Or, frankly, you may not find these things out for years -- people are good about trying to hide their most severe faults, and I've had at least a couple friends who didn't realize the "true colors" of their spouses until several years into marriage and kids. (And no, it's not that this person "changed" -- which we all do -- it's just that she downplayed her true priorities early on.)
Also, behavior in relationships is mostly a two-way street. If you're seeing significant behavior that seems psychotic or neurotic or just plain weird, it may be the "true" person, or it may have to do with the feedback loops of your particular relationship. Obviously there are actual crazy people out there, and there are plenty of people who have completely incompatible life values, but a lot of people can work through their "problems" with enough communication and self-reflection, if they are both willing. But it's much easier to brand your partner as an irrational jealous OCD self-absorbed insecure bitch.
We all have significant flaws, and we all do things that will likely annoy people when we live in close quarters with them for an extended period. The true test of a relationship isn't whether one party has such flaws, but how the two of you can deal with them and see whether you can get past them or not. Most of the flaws you bring up are characterized as though the woman is mentally ill, psychotic, significantly neurotic, etc. In the real world, we all have tendencies that can be exacerbated in the wrong situations or mitigated in better ones. Many relationships where men complain about such things may also have to do with the "health" of the relationship in general -- for example, a lot of people can get jealous or insecure, but whether that develops into a major issue frequently has to do with the behavior of both parties.
Anyhow, that's stuff you need to learn to sort through if you actually want a real long-term relationship. But to get back to your main concern, I'm not sure the "odds" are much worse if you ask a person to lunch whom you're mildly attracted to. "Looks" aren't everything, but if you don't find anything physically attractive about a person at all, it may be hard to even maintain interest in the early stages of a relationship. So, it's not about walking up to the woman whom you find to be "drop-dead gorgeous," but if you find someone to be mildly "cute" and there's "something about her," why not?
And yeah, blind dates can be terrible. But GP was suggesting lunch. Lunch or a coffee or something is much less stressful than a scheduled evening "date" -- a brief time to chat and likely get more information from body language, expressiveness, etc. than you would reading a manipulated profile. Is it annoying if you realize 2 minutes in that you're not interested in this person at all? Sure. But as part of my job I'm stuck in situations where I end up chatting with weird people for short periods all the time, and even if I know we won't end up being "best friends" immediately, sometimes it can still be interesting to get to know someone who is very different from you. If you can't stand chatting with someone who doesn't share all of your interests and all the women around you seem to be crazy, it's quite possible that the problem isn't with all the women around you.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 18 2016, @01:22AM
I walk up, grab my crotch, grab the other person's crotch, then we screw.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 18 2016, @01:57AM
That grabbing crotches nonsense - don't your hands get in the way?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 18 2016, @02:38AM
Donald, we know it's you hiding behind that AC. You aren't fooling anyone.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 18 2016, @02:37AM
Of course, another bold course of action, is just to walk up and talk to someone who looks interesting. If, every day you see this really hot chick on your way to work as you walk from the parking lot to your office, just get there five minutes early one day, and head her off. "I see you almost every day, and I love your choice in clothes" or some such. If she doesn't shoot you down on the spot, then you can ask her to lunch, of whatever. But, stuff like that won't work for Timid Timmy.
A parking lot isn't the best place... I've had too many creepy guys follow me in parking lots and I can tell you I'm 100% closed off to any man approaching me, doubly so for one that is loitering, looking for me (happened just last week) or deliberately tries to obstruct where I'm going so I'm forced to encounter him.
And chances are, if you are on your way to work, I probably am too. And, if that's the case, my mind is already focused on work for the day and I'm not looking to get picked up. Most guys probably wouldn't mind a girl hitting on them pretty much any time, but you don't necessarily want to have someone approach you asking about the details of your prostate exam while you're eating lunch or going to the bathroom. Likewise, women have our own motivations and don't exist solely to give guys someone to hit on at their convenience. Typically, I'll even wear a bridal set to try to indicate I'm not interested, even though I'm not actually married (yes, I actually spent 4 figures just to try to dissuade guys from approaching me, knowing that any decent guy would leave me alone and any guy that still approached me doesn't respect me and could easily be shot down).
Want to approach me? Do it in a non-threatening public place (supermarket, library, etc), while my friends are around so I feel protected by the group, or build up a friendship through a mutual activity first. The guy that was loitering in the parking lot last week came up to me in the store 15 minutes earlier and finished at the checkout 5 minutes before me. He was, by coincidence, parked directly next to me on the passenger side of my car, had returned his cart to the stall as I was walking out and then just sat there in his car looking around the parking lot and at his phone for 5 minutes. I eventually approached my car from a blind spot, hiding as I loaded my groceries, put my cart away discretely, then ducked down as I hopped in and pulled away, watching my mirror the entire time to make sure he wasn't following me. His approach in the store was fine and his comments were flattering, but he's not my type (I'm a lesbian)... So, not that he had a chance, but he totally creeped me out in the parking lot, whether he was really looking for me or just playing on his phone before he took off.
Keep in mind that girls have pervy guys hitting on them, gawking, whistling, etc from a very early age... most of us keep our guard up for a reason. The less threatening you seem, particularly in your approach, and the more secure we feel in that moment, the more receptive we're going to be. The secret, is to remember, if you're the one doing the approaching, we're going to feel vulnerable, so you need to show that you're actually more vulnerable than we are. That's where confidence is important - I'm sure it's difficult to come up to me when I'm standing around with 4 of my friends (and definitely much more difficult than when it's just the two of us in a parking lot), but you're showing that 1) you're actually confident enough about yourself to do it anyway and 2) you are aware that I need to feel secure. And once again, even after you approach me and give me your contact info (don't ask for mine), leave. The longer you loiter, the more desperate you end up looking.
As the initiator, you're going to get the silent treatment more often than you're going to get a call... that's just the nature of the game. It might mean she didn't think you were interesting, it might mean she's seeing someone already, it might mean that she's too busy with other things in her life... you aren't owed anything, not even a "Sorry, I'm not interested." Don't waste time fretting about her not calling or you're wasting your time that you could be using by approaching someone else.
Sadly, posted anonymously because I've had guys on other tech sites message me when they find out someone on the internet actually is a girl, and, even better, a lesbian. Sadly, too many guys think that it's appropriate to message me, even worse, sometimes with dick pics, just because of my gender.
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Tuesday October 18 2016, @03:03AM
I've noticed that some women (I won't say "most", and certianly not all) get really chatty in a supermarket. I've never figured that out. You have described the defensiveness of women in general around strange men. But, in a grocery store, strange women feel free to offer advice, and to just chatter away. I've never figured that out. Does a creep (or potential creep) become respectable just because he can be seen shopping for mundane items? Crazy . . . .
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 18 2016, @03:38AM
For some women, it's a natural desire to want to be helpful... a lot of guys can't cook and a lot of guys pretend that they don't know how to cook just so they can use that as a reason to talk to a woman they find attractive. Personally, I like cooking and don't mind offering tips, much in the same way that a computer guy might offer tips to someone browsing in an electronics store.
Plus, I'm at the grocery store at least 4 times per week (I tend to stop on my way to/from work so I can have fresh ingredients - yes, I own a business and have a fridge there so my food won't spoil if I stop on my way into work). It's like home to me - I feel a little safer there than I do someplace I don't spend much time in, clerks know me and I know them, etc. Grocery stores also tend to be pretty well lit and populated, meaning others are watching what is going on and, hopefully, looking out for me. Also, I can always ask for an escort out to my car if I'm not feeling safe.
Basically, we feel a little more protected from creeps because of the environment and a little more assured of our selves if cooking is one of our hobbies.
(Score: 2) by Nuke on Tuesday October 18 2016, @01:10PM
Runway1956 wrote :
Meeting people, in person, in a venue that reflects both of your interests - such as a track club. Or, at 4-H rodeos, or the local gardening center. You actually share an iterest with the people you meet in such places.
I have been in quite a few hobby and sport clubs (photographic, shooting, athletic) and in none of them were there ever girls of my own age. The only women I saw there were the middle-aged wives of some of the male members. As for the local gardening centre - who is your advice for, 70 year olds?
Of course, another bold course of action, is just to walk up and talk to someone who looks interesting.
Tried that a few times and go told to get lost (or worse), and I'm not even bad looking. After that I decided not to bother to approach girls except through a dating club (this was before Internet dating).
Bearing in mind that with the girls I met though a dating club, we had already passed a number of criteria, such as looks (from exchanged photos), circumstances, and above all that we were both seeking someone. Extrapolating from my experiences there and factoring up to allow things like someone you "just walk up to" might already be attached or be looking for a muscle-man type (that I am not), I calculated that I would have needed to "just walk up to" about 500 girls on average just to find one leading to a long term relationship.
That is even if there were enough situations with 500 girls to walk up to. It would be helpful if you would enlarge on what "walk up" situations you have in mind. In the high street, or at parties like the ones I have never been invited to?
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Tuesday October 18 2016, @01:27PM
ROFLMAO - you must bear in mind that I was a sailor. It was commonly accepted amongst us, that if you walked up and said something outrageous to random women, you might get slapped a dozen times, snubbed two dozen times, whatever else. You might get slapped thirty times - but number 31 thinks you're witty, funny, really good looking, or whatever.
That old adage, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." That, and "Fortune favors the bold." I met some very interesting women by being outrageous. I even managed to keep one of them for awhile. 28th anniversary coming up soon. You'd think that after the first couple years, she would have got tired and left, wouldn't you?