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If it's Friday it must be time for me to file On-Call and then start drinking so you can start the last day of the week with one of our always-amusing tales of nasty jobs done at nasty times.
This week, reader "Kevin" shared a story from his time working a hell desk late shift.
With just a few minutes to go before quitting time, Kevin took a call from user complaining her computer "was stuck". Kevin couldn't remote in, so asked her to turn it off and turn it on again.
The user claimed to have done so, but also reported the machine was still stuck on the same screen.
Kevin felt the user had probably flicked the wrong switch, so asked if there was a PC-shaped box under her monitor.
"Yes, there's a grey one," was the response.
"Can you hold down the power button for about 10 seconds until all the lights go out", Kevin asked.
At which point the user asked where to find the power button
Kevin explained it would be at the front of the PC, have a power symbol and should respond to a quick prod of an index finger.
"I can't find it," said the user.
Kevin asked what lettering, if any, was on the machine, in an effort to figure out the maker and model. As luck would have it, the Compaq model on the user's desk was the same one on Kevin's. So he spent the next 15 minutes describing its case, the grey bezel on the front, and using baby steps to direct her to the power button.
To which the user said the following:
"Oh you mean the button I use to switch it off with?"
Please, share your hell desk stories. We all need a good laugh.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @09:20PM
I used to work hell desk, but after years of dealing with stupid lying deceitful morons, I lost the ability to believe anything anyone says. Now I can't find work anywhere, because I can't pass a job interview. Every interviewer I meet is a stupid lying deceitful moron, and nobody wants to hire a misanthrope. I'm not a good social fit, because I have absolutely no respect for society. May you all burn in hell.
(Score: 4, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @09:50PM
Some lighter weekend fare:
... well now that idea backfired, didn't it?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:27PM
Don't worry, friend, it turns out it was the illegals stealing your jobs all along. Just wait a couple months and you'll be pulling in minimum wage for 39.5 hours a week with no healthcare or retirement. You were right all along, congratulations!
(Score: 2) by captain normal on Sunday November 20 2016, @03:59AM
More like 69.5 hours per week under Trumpilavina.
When life isn't going right, go left.
(Score: 2) by Rosco P. Coltrane on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:34PM
Every interviewer I meet is a stupid lying deceitful moron, and nobody wants to hire a misanthrope. I'm not a good social fit, because I have absolutely no respect for society.
Working help desk taught you that?
Everybody knows a job interview is a theater play, during which you try to convince the interviewer you're something you're not. All interviewed applicant are the best professionals in town, outgoing, extroverts, work well in teams, are ready to dedicate their lives to their job, and know how to take initiatives but not too many, during their interview.
Everybody knows it's bullshit - the interviewer best of all. They just want to know if you know your part well when they interview you. Because what's important to most companies isn't whether you can do the job as well as you claim, or that you have the perfect personality that you claim to have. It's whether you know the unwritten rules of working for, and fitting in the crushing machine that is the work market.
If you can't conform to the rules of the machine, no wonder you can't get hired. This has nothing to do with whatever job you had before, and everything to do with knowing how to lie convincingly enough to get that boring, useless position you don't give a shit about, but that you need to feed your family...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:53PM
You admit your society is based on bullshit, and you wonder why the successful people are the fucking stupid idiots who need to be told to turn it off and on again.
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:58PM
This has nothing to do with whatever job you had before, and everything to do with knowing how to lie convincingly enough to get that boring, useless position you don't give a shit about, but that you need to feed your family...
Mr. Coltrane, please report to my office before the end of the day.
-- B. Hogg
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @11:12PM
That's why it's important that people do not conform to those standards. If the employers don't care much about your actual skill and instead care about appearances, the ability to exaggerate your own skills, degrees for jobs that shouldn't require them, and other shallows things, then that is toxic and must be rejected. The only way to change this is to fight against it. People who are capable should start their own businesses and use reasonable, logical standards for hiring and firing; I did.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @11:46PM
That's funny. All I ever see are big businesses getting bigger and small businesses failing. Small businesses that don't invest in social media reputation management just fail even faster. Seems like people prefer big and people prefer bullshit. A business that tries to fight for change will not survive without customers to pay for that change to happen, and consumer demand for small businesses is evaporating.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @11:58PM
True, if you can't find a niche to fill. People tend not to care about things like privacy and decentralization, so expecting everyone to use your service for those reasons is unrealistic. But even people in hiring positions in large businesses can make a difference.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2016, @12:13AM
People don't get into hiring positions in large businesses if there's any hint that they might be trying to make a difference.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @11:16PM
That is accurate in some cases but not all. If you have a job you don't like start applying to others, trade up till you find a decent employer.
(Score: 2) by hendrikboom on Sunday November 20 2016, @04:34PM
If I have to play-act to get a job, then that job isn't one that will make me happy. I make a point of never pretending to be someone I'm not in a job interview. It doesn't take long for them to figure out that I'm not a compliant liar. That what I say can be trusted because it is not always to my advantage, That I will say I can't do what I can't do. And I sow the seed of suspicion that when I do say I can do something, I can actually do it.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2016, @06:16AM
The trick is to stop thinking of humans as reliable or rational. Say it every day on the way to work, "Humans are not rational, humans are not rational, humans are not rational, humans are not rational..."
It's a cheap form of self-hypnosis.
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2016, @05:39PM
Would you like to run for President?
(Score: 2) by VLM on Sunday November 20 2016, @06:21PM
She already lost, it was back on the 8th.