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posted by cmn32480 on Saturday November 19 2016, @09:02PM   Printer-friendly
from the facepalm dept.

Some lighter weekend fare:

If it's Friday it must be time for me to file On-Call and then start drinking so you can start the last day of the week with one of our always-amusing tales of nasty jobs done at nasty times.

This week, reader "Kevin" shared a story from his time working a hell desk late shift.

With just a few minutes to go before quitting time, Kevin took a call from user complaining her computer "was stuck". Kevin couldn't remote in, so asked her to turn it off and turn it on again.

The user claimed to have done so, but also reported the machine was still stuck on the same screen.

Kevin felt the user had probably flicked the wrong switch, so asked if there was a PC-shaped box under her monitor.

"Yes, there's a grey one," was the response.

"Can you hold down the power button for about 10 seconds until all the lights go out", Kevin asked.

At which point the user asked where to find the power button

Kevin explained it would be at the front of the PC, have a power symbol and should respond to a quick prod of an index finger.

"I can't find it," said the user.

Kevin asked what lettering, if any, was on the machine, in an effort to figure out the maker and model. As luck would have it, the Compaq model on the user's desk was the same one on Kevin's. So he spent the next 15 minutes describing its case, the grey bezel on the front, and using baby steps to direct her to the power button.

To which the user said the following:

        "Oh you mean the button I use to switch it off with?"

Please, share your hell desk stories. We all need a good laugh.


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  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Rosco P. Coltrane on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:15PM

    by Rosco P. Coltrane (4757) on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:15PM (#429646)

    Working the help desk, I have come up with an extra script for my customers who refuse to learn passable English -- I just say, "What?" "What?" "What" so many times until my script is basically a DMX [tvgcdn.net] song. They usually just hang up and call somebody else, I close the ticket with good time, and then it's no longer my problem.

    You sound like a first-rate jackass, of the kind that helped give phone tech support its bad reputation.

    Guess what? Many of your customers don't "refuse" to learn passable English. Some of them can't speak it well just because they can't, or they're in the process of learning if they're foreigners, or whatever. That doesn't mean they should be denied proper service, and passing the hot potato to someone else also means they have to call back to find a helpful support technician, pay for a second phone call, and waster twice as much time. Just because pretty you decided all by yourself that people who can't speak what you deem proper English don't deserve your time and efforts.

    Remind me never to hire you...

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  • (Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:32PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2016, @10:32PM (#429657)

    You sound like a first-rate jackass
    [...] Remind me never to hire you

    You don't want to hire jackasses, and jackasses don't want to work for you.

    So here's the deal. You will pay a tax to provide jackasses with a basic income.

    What's that? You don't want to pay taxes either? Well then. The problem is you.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2016, @09:11AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2016, @09:11AM (#429850)

      So here's the deal. You will pay a tax to provide jackasses with a basic income.

      No problem. Everyone gets $1000/mo basic income. Then we counter that by increasing taxes so $50k/yr basically pay back that $1k/mo and for $100k/yr you pay back $1200 or whatever. Then you assholes can have subsistence living, and the rest of us have a safety net.

  • (Score: 2) by art guerrilla on Sunday November 20 2016, @03:21PM

    by art guerrilla (3082) on Sunday November 20 2016, @03:21PM (#429917)

    and how about when the shoe is on the other foot ? ? ?
    when i -rarely, don't need hand-holding on baby problems- call in for tech support (which companies can make so onerous that you KNOW they don't want you actually using 'support' services), and the tech is a foreigner with such a thick accent that you can't understand anything, WTF am i supposed to do ? ? ?
    spend several years on the phone playing prof higgins to their eliza doolittle until they -by jove- get it ? ? ?
    WTF ? ? ?
    this is a company with english users, and provides english support services, and yet the techs can NOT be understood ? ? ?
    listen, i pride myself on being an intent and good listener who can interpret kids burblings, retards mumble-mouthing, and thick accents, but when i am squinting so hard my skull collapses on itself, TRYING to do a good-faith translation of whatever goobledygook they are saying, WTF am i supposed to think ? ? ?
    ALL conclusions lead to: this company doesn't give a fuck about me, and this person is incompetent for this job...
    SORRY you can't speak clear english, but that is MY FAULT somehow ? i am a monster for having expectations of the employee being able to communicate clearly in english for a job whose total function is to COMMUNICATE CLEARLY in english ? ? ?
    IF i were to move to india/wherever, i would TOTALLY expect to learn their local language, OR i would be effectively crippled in that society... sorry, NOT an ugly amerikan who would expect them to bend to my whim; but i expect the same IF they are living/'working' here...
    i can't do programming, i can't insist on a programming job where i am coddled for my not being able to program...
    i can't fly a plane, i can't insist i have a right to have a pilot's job and am protected from the consequences of not being able to fly...
    i can't speak english, i can't insist i have a right to have a job that requires speaking english, but i want a free pass 'cause my english isn't so good...
    oh well...