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SoylentNews is people

posted by on Monday May 22 2017, @05:15PM   Printer-friendly
from the I-think-we-already-knew-that dept.

In 2009, after undergoing the Daily Mail's rigorous investigation and fact-checking process, the Daily Mail reported that social networks (such as Facebook) reduce levels of interaction leading to reduced oxytocin and increased stress. In 2017, the Daily Mail reported that social networks (such as Facebook) encourage excessive tanning in an effort to improve appearance in selfies.

Soylentils are advised to avoid social networks, the Daily Mail, oxytocin, oxycontin, daylight, nightlight, selfies and the JavaScript which runs the Daily Mail headline generator.


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  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by NewNic on Monday May 22 2017, @06:15PM (1 child)

    by NewNic (6420) on Monday May 22 2017, @06:15PM (#513640) Journal

    People from the UK have been going to places like Spain, exposing themselves to excessive sunlight, often getting ban sunburns, for decades.

    Northern European skin and southern European sunlight don't match. This has been a problem since companies started selling cheap package holidays in Spain and other places nearer the equator.

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    lib·er·tar·i·an·ism ˌlibərˈterēənizəm/ noun: Magical thinking that useful idiots mistake for serious political theory
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  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 23 2017, @02:11AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 23 2017, @02:11AM (#513916)

    Scandinavians do OK with sun. Apparently they have the genes for melatonin, as they should since they had to cope with snow-reflected sunlight up north.