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posted by on Monday May 22 2017, @05:15PM   Printer-friendly
from the I-think-we-already-knew-that dept.

In 2009, after undergoing the Daily Mail's rigorous investigation and fact-checking process, the Daily Mail reported that social networks (such as Facebook) reduce levels of interaction leading to reduced oxytocin and increased stress. In 2017, the Daily Mail reported that social networks (such as Facebook) encourage excessive tanning in an effort to improve appearance in selfies.

Soylentils are advised to avoid social networks, the Daily Mail, oxytocin, oxycontin, daylight, nightlight, selfies and the JavaScript which runs the Daily Mail headline generator.


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  • (Score: 2) by bzipitidoo on Monday May 22 2017, @08:56PM (3 children)

    by bzipitidoo (4388) on Monday May 22 2017, @08:56PM (#513753) Journal

    For this story, the Daily Mail gets a big Fail in the originality category. Everything causes cancer. Red M+Ms, well done beef, masturbation, air travel, microwave ovens ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3745308/From-cataracts-cancer-REAL-dangers-microwave-ovens-test-leaking.html [dailymail.co.uk] ) , cell phones, toilets, fluorescent lights, thinking of cancer, bad moods... you name it, it probably causes cancer. We've known this for decades.

    Starting Score:    1  point
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    Total Score:   2  
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday May 22 2017, @09:14PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday May 22 2017, @09:14PM (#513769)

    Yes, cell division causes cancer, so anything that will increase the need for cell division will cause cancer. Here it is from the guy who invented the main cell culture test for carcinogens:
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2217209 [nih.gov]

    This is why people are most likely to get cancer after quitting smoking (the tissue starts to regenerate) etc.

  • (Score: 4, Touché) by maxwell demon on Monday May 22 2017, @09:52PM (1 child)

    by maxwell demon (1608) on Monday May 22 2017, @09:52PM (#513791) Journal

    you name it, it probably causes cancer.

    Let's try … the Daily Mail? ;-)

    --
    The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
    • (Score: 2) by bob_super on Monday May 22 2017, @10:11PM

      by bob_super (1357) on Monday May 22 2017, @10:11PM (#513804)

      Somewhat: if the stomach/throat cancer from the vomiting doesn't get you, the melted neurons will.