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posted by CoolHand on Monday June 19 2017, @06:25PM   Printer-friendly
from the but-bacon-though? dept.

First comes the unscratchable itching, and the angry blossoming of hives. Then stomach cramping, and—for the unluckiest few—difficulty breathing, passing out, and even death. In the last decade and a half, thousands of previously protein-loving Americans have developed a dangerous allergy to meat. And they all have one thing in common: the lone star tick.

Red meat, you might be surprised to know, isn't totally sugar-free. It contains a few protein-linked saccharides, including one called galactose-alpha-1,3-galactose, or alpha-gal, for short. More and more people are learning this the hard way, when they suddenly develop a life-threatening allergy to that pesky sugar molecule after a tick bite.

Yep, one bite from the lone star tick—which gets its name from the Texas-shaped splash of white on its back—is enough to reprogram your immune system to forever reject even the smallest nibble of perfectly crisped bacon. For years, physicians and researchers only reported the allergy in places the lone star tick calls home, namely the southeastern United States. But recently it's started to spread. The newest hot spots? Duluth, Minnesota, Hanover, New Hampshire, and the eastern tip of Long Island, where at least 100 cases have been reported in the last year. Scientists are racing to trace its spread, to understand if the lone star tick is expanding into new territories, or if other species of ticks are now causing the allergy.

The vegans did it?


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  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 19 2017, @06:47PM (5 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 19 2017, @06:47PM (#528079)

    What about transgenders? Can we somehow include them in this conspiracy theory? There should be a double-entendre with meat.

    Transgenders suddenly start existing for the first time in human history, and people become allergic to meat. Coincidence? I think not!

    I admit, though, the bug angle is pretty compelling too. Maybe the transgenders want to force us all to eat bugs.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 19 2017, @06:51PM (3 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 19 2017, @06:51PM (#528081)

    I have another angle we could try. We could rope Muslims in as well, since they would want to get out ahead of immigration requirements forcing them to eat bacon. If enough people have an allergy to meat, obviously it wouldn't be practical to implement the bacon-eating test.

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by bob_super on Monday June 19 2017, @07:50PM (2 children)

      by bob_super (1357) on Monday June 19 2017, @07:50PM (#528108)

      Is it the Jews for bacon, the Indians for beef, the Californians and their fish tacos, the texans to keep good meat to themselves, the blacks tired of fried chicken jokes, the Asians plotting a tofu takeover ?

      One small tick, so many conspiracy options...

      • (Score: 2) by edIII on Monday June 19 2017, @08:43PM

        by edIII (791) on Monday June 19 2017, @08:43PM (#528136)

        Is it the Jews for bacon, the Indians for beef, the Californians and their fish tacos, the texans to keep good meat to themselves, the blacks tired of fried chicken jokes, the Asians plotting a tofu takeover ?

        One small tick, so many conspiracy options...

        Sounds like the plot to Undercover Brother [youtube.com].

        --
        Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
      • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 19 2017, @09:01PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 19 2017, @09:01PM (#528147)

        A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by Gaaark on Monday June 19 2017, @08:07PM

    by Gaaark (41) on Monday June 19 2017, @08:07PM (#528113) Journal

    Americans (well, some at least) elect a meat head, and suddenly you're all developing allergies to meat. COINCIDENCE!?!?!
    I. Think. Not!
    ;)

    --
    --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---