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The Secrets of a Hit Summer Song

posted by martyb on Sunday July 09 2017, @06:58PM   
from the bam!-bam!-I'm-a-lamb! dept.

cafebabe writes:

On a slow news day, the BBC "reports" some rules about a summer hit tune. In summary:

1. It has to be simple.
2. It should make you feel like you're on holiday.
3. Novelty is everything.
4. Radio-friendly songs make bigger hits.
5. It should be released before the summer.
6. But it should have the word "summer" in the title.

If simplicity and novelty are the most important then this summer's hit could be Beep! Beep! I'm A Sheep!

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Original Submission

• Re:It's easy Re:It's easy (Score: 2, Troll) by n1 on Monday July 10 2017, @02:26AM (1 child)

  by n1 (993) on Monday July 10 2017, @02:26AM (#537007) Journal

  I'm sure you're trolling but anyway...

  One of my homeboys did a ten straight in the box in yard
  Now what’s he doing? Passin’ his doctorate
  Don’t tell me that it’s too hard!

  Akala - Fire in the booth [youtube.com]

  Besides I ain't rapping about dope nor did I sell it
  I guess the story of a country boy just ain't compelling

  Big K.R.I.T - Dreamin' [youtube.com]

  This war veteran knows what a hard time is
  He needs his pension, dementia and half blind is
  The reason he rides the train with no car license
  So he boards with an expired ticket has a swipe
  Gets a fine 'cause the change he got don't add up right
  We're talking about a man who never lived a lavish life

  Hilltop Hoods - Stopping All Stations [youtube.com]

  Escaping my selfish ways
  With my brain spread on a page
  So I put my soul in a song
  So it may linger on

  Shogun - Vulcan [youtube.com]

  The most impressionable minds get molested and informed by manipulating forces
  Don't fret little man, don't cry
  They can never take the energy inside you were born with
  Knowing that, understand you could never be poor
  You already won the war, you were born rich
  You can only take the energy you had going back to the realm or the home where your lord is
  Whoever whatever that lord is couldn't give a fuck if you ever made fortunes

  [...]How you raise a whole human single parent, no marriages no sense of heritage
  Planned Parenthood helping plan miscarriages
  But I'm lucky mommy already had a narrative
  Product of a teenage love, my arrogance to rise from the pride and the job my parents did
  Named Mike I was told it was godlike
  Even danced with the devil, came out alright

  Run The Jewels - A Christmas Fucking Miracle [youtube.com]

  They had a rally for police brutality up at the park
  But when we killing ourselves don’t nobody want to march
  We got to start to take a look in the mirror
  If we don’t respect ourselves then they always gone fear us
  If black lives matter then black lives matter
  And the color of the killer shouldn’t even be a factor

  Murs - No More Control [youtube.com]

  We brag on having bread, but none of us are bakers
  We all talk having greens, but none of us own acres
  If none of us own acres, and none of us grow wheat
  Then who will feed our people when our people need to eat
  So it seems our people starve from lack of understanding
  Cause all we seem to give them is some balling and some dancing
  And some talking about our car and imaginary mansions
  We should be indicted for bullshit we inciting
  Hand the children death and pretend that it's exciting

  Killer Mike - Reagan [youtube.com]

  I am curious though, in this troll persona, do you have the same disdain for folk songs that talk about the self-inflicted struggles of their chosen occupations in mining and farming? After all they could have taken personal responsibility for their situation and sought to improve it rather than writing songs bitching about it.

  Parent

  Starting Score:	1		point
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  Extra 'Troll' Modifier		0
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  Total Score:		2

• Re:It's easy (Score: 3, Funny) by Magic Oddball on Monday July 10 2017, @06:42AM

  by Magic Oddball (3847) on Monday July 10 2017, @06:42AM (#537050) Journal

  Don't forget, though, that hip-hop wasn't always insightful social criticism — if you go back to the early days, the performers more often just aimed to be entertaining:

  Ever went over a friend's house to eat and the food just ain't no good?
  I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed,
  And the chicken tastes like wood!
  So you try to play it off like you think you can
  By saying that you're full
  And then your friend says, "Mama, he's just being polite
  He ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!"
  So your heart starts pumping and you think of a lie
  And you say that you already ate
  And your friend says "Man, there's plenty of food!"
  So you pile some more on your plate
  While the stinky food's steaming, your mind starts to dreaming
  Of the moment that it's time to leave
  And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rotting
  Into something that looks like cheese.
  So you say "That's it, I gotta leave this place
  I don't care what these people think,
  I'm just sitting here making myself nauseous
  With this ugly food that stinks!"
  So you bust out the door while it's still closed
  Still sick from the food you ate
  And then you run to the store for quick relief
  From a bottle of Kaopectate.

  (From 1979's Rapper's Delight [wikipedia.org])

  Parent