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posted by Fnord666 on Monday July 24 2017, @04:32PM   Printer-friendly
from the ouch dept.

BOOM! That's the sound of Luc Besson's "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets." US Weekend total is $17 million, not even a multiple of Friday's $6 million. Costing at least $225 million, "Valerian" is a domestic dud.

The only hope for STX Films on the most expensive indie film ever made is people in non English speaking countries not caring about the story or dialogue. This often the case, and dud films– see "The Mummy" — can find audiences who just want the visual flash.

"Valerian" will have to count on China, Russia, South Korea, and other out of the way locales to bail them out.

The previews looked visually amazing. Was the movie really that bad?


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  • (Score: 3, Informative) by steveha on Monday July 24 2017, @08:54PM (4 children)

    by steveha (4100) on Monday July 24 2017, @08:54PM (#543874)

    Here's Howard Tayler's review:

    http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/valerian-and-the-city-of-a-thousand-planets/ [schlockmercenary.com]

    His tastes don't overlap 100% perfectly with mine, but they are close enough that if he didn't like this, I am certain I wouldn't like it either. He's a geek: he used to be a project manager at Novell, and now he's full-time creating a science fiction web comic called Schlock Mercenary [schlockmercenary.com] (and some role-playing game stuff based on the universe of his comic). Also he says that Luc Besson's movie The Fifth Element [imdb.com] is one of his favorite movies ever so he went in expecting to like this.

    After reading his review, I'm not tempted at all to watch Valerian.

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  • (Score: 1) by snmygos on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:23PM (1 child)

    by snmygos (6274) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:23PM (#544131)

    After reading this review, I am more disgusted by the reviewer than discouraged to see the movie. Contrary to his first sentence that he wanted really to like the film he seem really determined to see the dark side of each thing. When someone say that the best part of a movie is it played in theaters that offer popcorn, you just show you are a jerk.
    I am not a fan of Besson, I disliked 5th element and Lucy and liked others of his movies such as Nikita. From what I have read of Valerian, I expect it to be a good show, like Avatar or Star Wars. And 17 million dollars in three days in the USA is not bad since there are many days to come, and the distribution has not started again in Europa and China.

    • (Score: 2) by steveha on Tuesday July 25 2017, @08:53PM

      by steveha (4100) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @08:53PM (#544313)

      When someone say that the best part of a movie is it played in theaters that offer popcorn, you just show you are a jerk.

      That's a literary technique known as damning with faint praise [wiktionary.org].

      Compare with a review of a movie he liked:

      http://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/hidden-figures/ [schlockmercenary.com]

      And here is, in my opinion, the most strongly-worded negative review he ever wrote:

      https://www.schlockmercenary.com/blog/movie-review-bloodrayne/ [schlockmercenary.com]

      He really didn't like Bloodrayne.

      If I find out that you went and saw this film after I told you not to, I'll phone your friends up and tell them to go to your house and pour ants in your bed. And when you wake up screaming, covered in ants, you'll think "at least I'm not still watching BloodRayne."

  • (Score: 1) by snmygos on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:35PM

    by snmygos (6274) on Tuesday July 25 2017, @12:35PM (#544133)
  • (Score: 2) by etherscythe on Thursday August 03 2017, @05:39PM

    by etherscythe (937) on Thursday August 03 2017, @05:39PM (#548430) Journal

    I've been eagerly following Shlock Mercenary for years, but I am rarely in agreement with his movie reviews. Your mileage may vary.

    --
    "Fake News: anything reported outside of my own personally chosen echo chamber"