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You’re not the only one spending fewer summer weekends watching other people get married—but don’t worry, the weddings you’re still invited to might feel a little more special these days.
Fewer Americans are getting married, and the ones who still are have scaled back their weddings. Their nuptials are becoming smaller, though not necessarily cheaper, affairs.
Many couples are waiting longer and longer to schedule their weddings. In 2015, the median first-time American bride was almost 28 years old and the median groom almost 30, according to the most recent data available from the Census Bureau. (Ten years earlier, the typical bride was 25.5, the typical groom 27.)
The U.S. marriage rate—the number of new marriages per 1,000 people—has been falling for decades. It fell especially fast during the recession, in 2008 and 2009, but there’s little evidence that people started getting married again even as the economy recovered. And research firm IbisWorld predicts the marriage rate will keep falling over the next five years.
From a global perspective, that wouldn’t be a surprise. The U.S. marriage rate would need to fall by about a third to reach the marriage rates in other developed countries. The most recent data show a U.S. marriage rate of 6.9, compared with an average rate of 4.6 for countries in the European Union.
Are weaker economics the cause, or has marriage gone out of fashion?
(Score: 3, Interesting) by LoRdTAW on Sunday July 30 2017, @07:54PM (4 children)
I'm in my late 30's. I have never had a strong urge or desire to marry. I also don't have a strong desire to even have a relationship. Out of my small but close knit group of five "core" friends, three are married, most with kids. Of the three married, two have children, one with five kids and the other two. The remaining married couple does not want kids. Of my two unmarried friends, one can't seem to get his shit together relationship wise. The other doesn't give two shits about a relationship.
Other things I've noticed by observation:
Cultural changes in which people aren't as inclined to marry young.
Some put marriage off to enjoy life, travel, and "party". Essentially they stay younger, longer.
Some put it off to finish schooling and establish careers; perhaps while paying off schooling debts.
With women becoming more equal in society, they don't NEED to get married so they hold off as well.
And lastly, weddings are stressful events that two of my friends chose to avoid. One friend had a pretty fancy wedding on a beach front venue that cost north of $30k. Who the fuck wants to spend what amounts to a yearly salary for some people in a single day?
Of the two who chose to go small: one couple went to the court and just got married like it was no big deal. The other did a really nice small event where they did a little court house gathering in the chapel consisting of close friends and family, about 25 people total. Then off to their parents house in the country for a big back yard blowout. No catering, venues, churches, photographers, event planners, staff, no nonsense. Home cooked food prepared by both mothers, and the fathers grilled various meats. Some people bought food and deserts, and there was lots of booze. Music was from a boom box hooked to a streaming app on someones phone. There must have been about 60 people there and everyone had a fantastic time. That right there was the best wedding I ever attended. It was small, casual, and cost almost nothing. That's how it should be done.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 31 2017, @03:17AM
I might spend $30,000 if I had about $10,000,000 by net worth and by liquid assets. It's a matter of spending 0.1% to 1% of what you have. Add or remove several digits if you are a billionaire or thousandaire.
Women are increasingly unsatisfied with life. Many of them are unable to feel attracted to a man who earns less or is less educated, and the men have generally soured on the whole legal situation, so marriage isn't happening. That doesn't get rid of the human emotional need for a family, which is especially strong in women. The fertile years go by, the women become undesirable, and we get a lot of cat ladies. Cats partially fill an emotional need for babies.
One way or another, this situation won't last. The people who have kids will pass their behavior on to the next generation, via both DNA and culture. We may end up with stupid people, universal Islam, or an instinctive passion for making lots of kids.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 31 2017, @05:14AM
My wedding was quite the affair. Yes a bit stressful, I feel like I might enjoy a second wedding more :) But I am only willing to cough up enough dough to buy a car on showing off to family and friends once (well twice if you consider actually buying a car to show off).
Feminism has all but ruined most women. I guess sad for them. Luckily I have never been attracted to the end result of feminism, and I have quite a keen sense at picking out the few gems out of the crowd of garbage. My wife is a rarity now a day: virtuous, conservative, obedient, and just all around amazing woman. And she won't take me to the cleaners because 1: I am the only man she has ever been with, or has desire for, and 2: she has somewhat more assets than me, so I be the one taking her to the cleaners. Plus I don't really plan on doing anything to fuck my marriage up, I seen what else is out there and it's slim pickings. For me it's this or I spend the rest of my life with a sex doll/bot. I have near zero desire to shag up with some edgy 20-something and use her like a cum-rag before she hits the wall and slits her wrists in a warm bath.
(Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Monday July 31 2017, @10:12AM
I can identify with that. I didn't have a desire to get married either, and fully expected to never meet anyone who was attractive and bright and just dorky enough to put up with my geeky eccentricities. Then i was at a singles party on the Upper West Side of Manhattan that a friend dragged me to, and while on line to flee the incredibly overcrowded apartment the girl in line next to me commented that the place was like the cantina scene from Mos Eisley. I figured she was worth talking to more and 18 years later i'm still talking to her.
Being married has been a good thing. Joys are multiplied and sorrows are halved. Makes the journey of life far better than it would have been alone, hacking software in the dark. YMMV
Washington DC delenda est.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 01 2017, @02:47PM
Ahh, well, you're definitely coming up on the issue. Nobody wants to spend that much on their own wedding. And unlike in years past, fathers aren't so quick to spring to pay for their daughter's weddings anymore (speaking from experience here, as I'm financing my own wedding in lieu of more traditional funding). Back in the mid 90s, my sister got married, and you can bet my father paid the lion's share of that event, as providing one of the great joys of life is what you do for your children, and culturally, that takes the form of a wedding for your daughter.
Now, there are a lot of things going on here. For one, it's one thing to pay for your daughter's wedding when she's 18-22 and you're likely pulling in $75k or more a year, and the wedding costs in the ballpark of $15-20k. It's another entirely to spring for $30k when you're retired and she's 30. Beyond that, there's the matter of a general selfishness pervading our modern western society. First we cut off extended family as having any real importance back in the 20th century, but these days, after high school, even nuclear families are becoming little more than Christmas card buddies. Instead of springing to pay for your kids things, it's becoming more fashionable to hold onto that money alone in your retirement home while you rot into the ground, presumably in a coffin lined with money.
Likewise, it's this same trend pushing younger folks to not really want to be married in the first place. Gods forbid you have any responsibility to anyone other than yourself, and perhaps Uncle Sam (though, nobody goes around saying "my taxes should be higher!"...always "that rich guy's taxes should be higher!").
Marriage largely is an institution from a time when people relied upon each other in their families to provide for basic needs. Your cousins were the ones who helped you build your house, your parents were the ones who raised you and who you in turn took care of in old age, your spouse was the one who helped in running the household (among a long list of other things...which really helped prevent frivolous divorce), and your children were there to help in defending and avenging against any attacks on your family. In an age when nearly all of these roles are being handed off to the state or corporations, it's really not a surprise that weddings are happening less.
Whether or not this is a bad thing I suppose depends upon how you feel about your new family members, Bank of America, the NSA, Amazon, Walmart, etc.