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The other day, Michael W Lucas, who is normally known for good technical literature, put up a wild experiment of a short story: Savaged by Systemd. It's erotica, sort of. It's computer erotica, to be specific. It's Linux sysadmin erotica, to be more specific. OK, fine, it's systemd erotica. Really. Anyway, despite the subject and the genre, and in spite of the combination of the two, the e-book is trending and rising in quite a few lists.
Hopefully he can still remain focused on Absolute FreeBSD and be able to get that finished by the next BSDCan.
[Ed note: Has anybody actually bought and read this short story? I wasn't going to spend $2.99 to see what the hubub was about. - cmn32480]
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Madness takes its toll.
(Score: 5, Funny) by NotSanguine on Sunday September 17 2017, @10:05AM (9 children)
I like my erotica to involve humans. And that doesn't include Lennart Poettering.. I know, I know that's just crazy talk.
Maybe that spamming DN moron has read it? It sounds like something an idiot (or a systemd fetishist; but I repeat myself) would like.
Perhaps one of Fustakrakich's chat bots [soylentnews.org] could write a review of it for us.
No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
(Score: 2) by RamiK on Sunday September 17 2017, @10:34AM
Shepherds [gnu.org] are human... Insert viral human transmittable goat STD licensing joke here.
compiling...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday September 17 2017, @10:34AM
Accept Lennart in your heart!
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday September 17 2017, @10:43AM
It doesn't necessarily need to involve Lennart, it could involve an anthropomorphic systemd process, in a similar vein of erotic fiction as Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union [amazon.com].
(Score: 1) by fustakrakich on Sunday September 17 2017, @04:50PM (1 child)
:-) Appreciate the props... I am trying to learn how to draw a crowd.
La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
(Score: 2) by NotSanguine on Sunday September 17 2017, @06:36PM
Your chatbot journal was pure gold, so the pleasure was all mine.
As to drawing a crowd, I suggest painting your entire body in day-glo colors, going down to the local seat of government wherever you live and removing all your clothes in front of the government building(s).
That ought to draw a crowd! Oh, and you're welcome. :)
No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
(Score: 2) by Hyperturtle on Sunday September 17 2017, @06:42PM (3 children)
I actually thought it was a story about safe words and punishment gone awry... when the passwords changed and the safe words weren't!
Systemd provides more punishment than even a linux masochist could ever hope for. Windows can be sadistic in its simplictly, and by extention that can lead to issues caused by ignorance; systemd just cuts to the chase and turns any sysadmin session into something out of Pulp Fiction... (then again, there were no safe words during that scene--just a Gimp).
(Score: 5, Funny) by NotSanguine on Sunday September 17 2017, @07:16PM
Does that mean Lennart Poettering plays the role of "Zed"? Something along the lines of:
Obnoxious user: You okay?
BOFH: Nah, man. I'm pretty far from okay.
Obnoxious user: What now?
BOFH: What now? Lemme tell you what now. I'm a call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin' Rust devs to go to work on the Lennart here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin' systemd boy?!? I ain't through wit' you by a damn sight! I'm a get 'dpkg -P' on yo' ass!
Obnoxious user: I meant what now between me and you?
BOFH: Oh, that "what now." I tell you what now between me and you. There is no me and you. Not no mo'.
Obnoxious user: So we cool?
BOFH: Yeah, we cool. Two things: Don't tell nobody about this. This shit is between me, you, and Mr. soon to be living the rest of his short-ass life in agonizing pain systemd-dev here. It ain't nobody else's business. Two: You delete all your files and log off for good. Tonight. Right now. And when you log off, you stay logged off or you'll be forcibly disconnected, permanently! You lost all your account privileges. Deal?
Obnoxious user: Yeah.
BOFH: Get your ass outa here.
[With apologies to Quentin Tarantino [imdb.com], but none for Lennart Poettering]
No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 18 2017, @12:35AM (1 child)
I couldn't disagree more WRT "simplicity" and Redmond.
MICROS~1's junk is sludge piled on top of more sludge.
It's not an example of simplicity; it's a Klein flask. [google.com]
A favorite topic of blogger and Linux advocate Robert Pogson is MICROS~1's needless complexity. [google.com]
Here's M$ guy[1] Ray Ozzie on the topic (2010):
Complexity kills
"Complexity kills. Complexity sucks the life out of users, developers, and IT. Complexity makes products difficult to plan, build, test, and use. Complexity introduces security challenges. Complexity causes administrator frustration" [archive.org]
[1] Heh. Almost said -former- M$ guy--but there's no such thing.
...though some do recognize their sins, committed as part of The Borg.
.
...then there is the antithesis:
Do one thing; do it well; make it easy to interoperate with that.
The Unix Philosophy [wikipedia.org]
-- OriginalOwner_ [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 18 2017, @02:17AM
What's wrong with Klein flasks? You're just jealous because I have a Klein bottle hat with several Acme guarantees about its topology and you don't.