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The world is full of assholes. Wherever you live, whatever you do, odds are you're surrounded by assholes. The question is, what to do about it?
Robert Sutton, a psychology professor at Stanford University, has stepped up to answer this eternal question. He's the author of a new book, The Asshole Survival Guide, which is basically what it sounds like: a guide for surviving the assholes in your life.
In 2010, Sutton published The No Asshole Rule, which focused on dealing with assholes at an organizational level. In the new book, he offers a blueprint for managing assholes at the interpersonal level. If you've got an asshole boss, an asshole friend, or an asshole colleague, this book might be for you.
Asshole survival, Sutton says, is a craft, not a science, meaning one can be good or bad at it. His book is about getting better at it.
I sat down with him recently to talk about his strategies for dealing with assholes, what he means when he says we have to take responsibility for the assholes in our lives, and why he says self-awareness is key to recognizing that the asshole in your life may be you.
https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/9/26/16345476/stanford-psychologist-art-of-avoiding-assholes
(Score: 5, Insightful) by The Mighty Buzzard on Tuesday October 10 2017, @04:59AM (10 children)
Rest assured, if you think you're surrounded by assholes, you're the asshole. Or Dark Helmet.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by looorg on Tuesday October 10 2017, @05:11AM
If the world if full of assholes isn't it a pretty safe bet that you are an asshole to someone else? You might just not know about it, or you do and you just don't care cause you are indeed an asshole.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 10 2017, @08:17AM (3 children)
Rest assured, if you think generalizing with cool sounding one liners makes sense, you're and idiot. Or not.
(Score: 3, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 10 2017, @08:36AM
You're surrounded by assholes, aren't you?
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Tuesday October 10 2017, @11:28AM
Ditto if you're unable to take a complex situation and glean simpler but still meaningful truths from it.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday October 10 2017, @01:01PM
" you're and idiot"
Who is what?
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 10 2017, @01:40PM (2 children)
"You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
(Score: 2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 10 2017, @07:18PM (1 child)
That's not a truism; it's just an idea bite, and a lame one at that. The data is in. Here in the USA, just under 50% of the voters last time around took the opportunity to demonstrate that they were assholes, in that they were willing to put an asshole into the office of the president, despite the fact that he'd clearly demonstrated, repeatedly and clearly and in exquisite detail, that he was, in fact, an asshole. All those people intentionally chose an asshole over a more-or-less run of the mill political operator. They're assholes. A lot of assholes.
The Internet is chock full of people who have been shouting "down with Obamacare" and then "keep the ACA", despite having been told – repeatedly – that they are one and the same. Etc., for a long list of environmental, social, technical, ethnic, scientific, and sexist issues.
Then there are the assholes who run around claiming that hurricanes are acts of "god" punishing pro-LGBT social trends and legislation.
Then there are the assholes who are perfectly willing to yank our pitiful excuse for a social safety net out from under the needy, all the while working to reduce its scope.
Then there are the assholes who are exporting jobs and businesses out, and products in.
Then there are the assholes who mouth trickle-down illusions, while snickering as their quite real trickle-up methods concentrate what wealth there is in their hands.
The idea that consistently meeting assholes means it's you... that doesn't necessarily follow. Definitely: this country, at least, is well populated with assholes. Meeting assholes and idiots will be the norm. Doesn't mean you're one. Unless you are.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 11 2017, @06:06AM
One person's dirtier asshole is another person's cleaner asshole. Take your example, goes to show that that asshole in chief that got voted was deemed cleaner by 50% of the population than the one running against him, even though from your perspective you rather labelled her "more-or-less run of the mill political operator" but the folks on the flip side seem to think she's an asshole too but a lot dirtier...
(Score: 3, Touché) by DeathMonkey on Tuesday October 10 2017, @06:20PM (1 child)
I'm reading a thread about Psychology on SN.
Clearly I'm actively seek out assholes!
(Score: 3, Touché) by The Mighty Buzzard on Tuesday October 10 2017, @08:46PM
You rang?
My rights don't end where your fear begins.