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Over the last several months, I’ve witnessed many controversial discussions among my friends, in my San Francisco community, and on online forums about James Demore’s memorandum. People of both genders are wrestling with the fact that fewer women go into computer science and trying to find explanations that balance their experience, empathy, and ethical aspirations. I’ve heard lots of good-intentioned people consider discouraging theories of biological superiority because they can’t find any other compelling explanation (like this post on HackerNews, for example). As a woman who studied computer science, worked at some of the top tech firms, and has founded a software startup, I’d like to share my take on why fewer women go into CS and my opinion on how to address the issue.
[...] I graduated from Stanford with a BS in Mathematical & Computational Sciences in 2015, interned at Apple as a software engineer, and worked as an Associate Product Manager at Google 2015-2017. In October, I founded a video editing website called Kapwing and am working on the startup full-time. Although I’m only 25, I’ve already seen many of my female friends choose majors/careers outside of STEM and have been inside of many predominately-male classes, organizations, and teams.
This article is one person’s humble perspective, and I do not speak for every woman in tech. But hopefully having the view of someone who has “been there” can help people trying to understand why there are fewer women in tech.
(Score: 5, Interesting) by Sulla on Saturday May 12 2018, @04:50AM (5 children)
I dont know how old you are or how long it has been since you were in university but it is dangerous out there. The same handshake that was fine in the 70s is sexual assault today. Looking at someone to try to make eye contact is making a hostile learning environment. Holding the door open for a person is going out of your way to prop up the patriarchy. The rules for normal human interaction are different now than what they were in the past and it is difficult to navigate. I think the vast majority of the time things are fine, but there are enough examples of it not being fine where you have men afraid to interact at all.
God forbid you pat the wrong girl on the back like you woud do with one of your buddies, or have cold hands when shaking hands (creeeeeepy), or shake hands too long, or accidently cut someone off when you speak, or get the best grade in the class (fucking white cis male priviledge), or hold that door open for someone who did not provide consent, or accidently misgender somebody,
I see how the guys/girls in their 40s and 50s at my work banter and joke, and it looks like fun. But if I said or did any of the things they are doing with a coworker my same age I would get slapped with a harassment policy.
Ceterum censeo Sinae esse delendam
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Saturday May 12 2018, @02:54PM (1 child)
Join in the fun, young man. And, if HR talks to you about it, just tell him (or more likely her) that you don't give a small damn about what they think. That's what I did, and I became something of a minor hero among my coworkers. Well, a minor hero for a couple days, anyway. Then Walter won the cockroach races and became the new hero.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday May 14 2018, @07:08PM
And then everyone on the bus stood up and clapped because that totally happened and would not have gotten you fired.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 13 2018, @12:00PM (2 children)
From your comment, you are young, 20's or early thirties, and have some social anxieties. Start saying hello, and chatting with those older ladies (and guys). Pretty soon you too will be able to crack jokes like that with them. The guys will probably rag on you, take it like a good sport, stay nice and give it back without being nasty. You will get respect for that. The women will start to see you as a nice guy, and probably mother you.
Socially it will improve your standing with the younger crowd too, if the older people like you. They may deny it, but young people are influenced by older people.
And, if you are socially awkward, the older people will be harsher in some ways, but a lot more tolerant in others. They are very unlikely to legally fuck up your life if you misread a social cue, but they will hang shit on you at the drop of a hat. ('hang shit on' : aussie expression meaning make fun of).
The main benefit of the above is that being socially adept is like any other skill, it gets better with practice. Practice with the old people who won't fuck your life up over a simple mistake. Make sure you hang out with young people too though, they are slightly different skills and you need both.
(Score: 2, Interesting) by Sulla on Monday May 14 2018, @05:23PM (1 child)
Things are not just the one-on-one interactions between coworkers where misunderstandings are occurring. The older people are following the younger by hiring HR young technicians and managers who are hip to the "every unwelcomed communication is sexual assault" and "all masculinity in the workplace is evil" and upholding decisions made by HR that enforce these ideas. I have worked places where you could get written up for holding a door open, one of the older people might make a gripe about it but they won't refute the decision because their feet are also to the fire (maybe they shared a mutual kiss with sally at the christmas party back in 93, what if she changes her mind like these young kids do?). Older folks can see the issue, but hell why should they care they will be retired in a couple more years, if young people are like this is must be what they want so let them do it.
There is a part of it that is social awkwardness, but there is an ever increasing number of actions that were acceptable just a few years ago or are totally acceptable if you are social/decent/good looking that you just can't pull off if you are not perfect. You can interact fine, hold conversations about hobbies/weather/weekend activities, but if you bump their leg with yours on accident trying to adjust your seat while you are working in a confined space on a project you better be ready to be written up. The majority of people out there are fine, but one bad seed can really mess up your life so why risk it?
A lot of guys flounder in basic conversation because college is drilling into them that their "mansplaning" is causing damage and their opinion is not welcomed or wanted. There is room to grow socially when you talk with older people and sort of figure out how to interact, but what good is that when the goal of the other young people is to stop the way people used to interact? I mean yeah if my only option to learn how to use a computer is to figure it out using a old windows 95 box then i will take the opportunity, but how is that going to help me with windows 10 when I am expected to skip from one straight to the other and if i try anything that worked in 95 in 10 the whole system will crash and I will lose all my progress?
For the record. I am in late 20s with a wife and three kids. Quite successful where I work and as far as I can tell pretty well liked. I have some social awkwardness but not when talking about my knowledge base. I avoid any difficulties by refusing to have anything to do with anyone outside of strictly work activities and limiting work conversations to work. Work is for work and home is for home, school was for learning what to do when you get to work, if the woman who wrote the article has a problem with that then she should be more accepting of disciplines that men who want to avoid women go into. Men don't mind women doing what men do, men mind women doing what men do then complaining that it is too hard or that the men aren't helping them enough when men aren't even helping other men.
Ceterum censeo Sinae esse delendam
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 16 2018, @11:55AM
I can see it heading that way here, but I think you may be a few years ahead of us.
I am old enough to remember when people joked around with their co-workers, and many of them ended up lifelong friends or entered relationships. Hell, my wife was my boss about 20 years ago.
Condolences. SJW's and 3rd feminists are killing what little humanity and joy there was in the workplace.