SoylentNews is people
SoylentNews
Why do people stay in unsatisfying romantic relationships? A new study suggests it may be because they view leaving as bad for their partner. The study, being published in the November 2018 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, explored the possibility that people deciding whether to end a relationship consider not only their own desires but also how much they think their partner wants and needs the relationship to continue.
Study that finds it's not just the investment of time, resources and emotion
[Source]: University of Utah
[Abtract]: How interdependent are stay/leave decisions?[requires js]
This discussion has been archived.
No new comments can be posted.
Study Suggests People Who Stay in Unsatisfying Relationships View Leaving as Bad for Their Partner
|
Log In/Create an Account
| Top
| 56 comments
| Search Discussion
The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday October 23 2018, @07:02AM (3 children)
To the extent Bonita and I were working together on a common goal, our relationship worked really well.
Quite ironically, shopping for then purchasing a house, then later preparing that house for sale then actually selling it were high points for us.
Not so actually living in it.
I have two friends who do something I find odd in that it's not commonly done: they pursue the same hobbies together. For example a while back they were both into making stained glass.
Bonita quite obviously has far more musical talent than I do but refused to learn to play the piano because "It's your thing". I was hoping for a thing that we could share.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Runaway1956 on Tuesday October 23 2018, @02:14PM (2 children)
I gotta comment on that - just have to!
Interests change over the years. I have shared hobbies with my wife, from time to time. I mean, we actually worked hard, together, to make something. Other times, we've shared an interest, that became a competition between us. And, far more often, she does her thing, while I do mine, only asking for a bit of help from time to time when we find something we can't do ourselves.
As for changing interests - I can remember when she crocheted stuff madly. It seems like she had her hooks at hand around the clock. Then - she did something else, and those crochet hooks just disappeared.
Your hobbies and interests should be learning and growing experiences. Let them change. Always be ready to share with your special other, but there's no need to insist that they get interested in the same things you like. Allow that special other to develop his/her own mad skillz, and show appreciation for the work they've put into that hobby or interest.
Live and let live - right?
(Score: 3, Insightful) by HiThere on Tuesday October 23 2018, @04:04PM (1 child)
I've just *got* to respond here. A relationship depends on a mix of shared goals and different skills...and time spent together companionably. Also on working through relationship problems satisfactorily...and there will be problems. The ways we used might not help someone else, but we used to always discuss problems with the shared goal of defusing the emotions. And tell her frequently and explicitly and verbally that you love her. That felt really strange at first, but it turned out to be quite important.
Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
(Score: 3, Informative) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Tuesday October 23 2018, @04:11PM
There are some people who when in a relationship are simply incapable of doing that.
One such was a good friend of mine who wrecked his car while driving drunk. He was sentenced to among other things alcoholism treatment. It was during one such therapy session that he said "I love you" for the very first time to his girlfriend of five years.
Back in the day Bonita and I were down to our last twenty dollars, we had very little food and no heating oil in the middle of a New England winter. She was just freaking, she asked me to go out and buy some food with that twenty. Do you want to know what I actually did?
I bought her a dozen roses. Best decision I ever made.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]