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posted by martyb on Wednesday December 26 2018, @05:52PM   Printer-friendly
from the What's-wrong-with-the-old-year? dept.

What is your most significant New Year's resolution for 2019?

  1. Eat better
  2. Sleep better
  3. Exercise more
  4. Lose weight mass
  5. Talk to other humans more
  6. Less time spent on the internet
  7. Ditch Google/Facebook/Amazon/Apple
  8. Try out a new OS or distro
  9. Write more code
  10. Write less code
  11. Perform more expeditionary missions out of the basement
  12. Be nicer to other Soylents
  13. Use all my mod points
  14. Make less resolutions
  15. Other (listed below)...

[Ed. Note: A new poll went up just a few days ago to decide "Book Club picks for Jan. and Feb. 2019" and I didn't want to interrupt that process. Further, our polls are limited to 8 choices and this submission had many more than that. Given the timeliness of the topic, I decided to run this as a story, instead. Have Fun!]

takyon: Changed to an <ol> since users are posting #s.


Original Submission

 
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  • (Score: 3, Funny) by Subsentient on Wednesday December 26 2018, @08:28PM (11 children)

    by Subsentient (1111) on Wednesday December 26 2018, @08:28PM (#778693) Homepage Journal

    1. Eat more cement
    2. Stop eating the skin suits
    3. Shave my eyebrows
    4. Spend less money on peanut butter and bungee cords.
    5. Spend more money on electrical tape and miracle whip.
    6. Finally empty out the limbs from my freezer, since they're all freezer burned and not very tasty anymore.

    --
    "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
    Starting Score:    1  point
    Moderation   +1  
       Funny=1, Total=1
    Extra 'Funny' Modifier   0  
    Karma-Bonus Modifier   +1  

    Total Score:   3  
  • (Score: 3, Funny) by takyon on Wednesday December 26 2018, @09:12PM (4 children)

    by takyon (881) <reversethis-{gro ... s} {ta} {noykat}> on Wednesday December 26 2018, @09:12PM (#778718) Journal

    7. NOT DEAD [soylentnews.org]

    --
    [SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
    • (Score: 2) by acid andy on Wednesday December 26 2018, @09:49PM (1 child)

      by acid andy (1683) on Wednesday December 26 2018, @09:49PM (#778747) Homepage Journal

      Yeh, sorry for drawing attention towards you Subsentient. Wishing you a Happy New Year and a tolerable continued existence.

      --
      If a cat has kittens, does a rat have rittens, a bat bittens and a mat mittens?
      • (Score: 2) by Subsentient on Thursday December 27 2018, @02:59AM

        by Subsentient (1111) on Thursday December 27 2018, @02:59AM (#778863) Homepage Journal

        No problem. It's the motive that matters, and in your case it's appreciated. Glad to know there's people who would miss my insanity here.

        --
        "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 27 2018, @09:07AM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 27 2018, @09:07AM (#778936)

      It could be an imposter!

      • (Score: 2) by acid andy on Thursday December 27 2018, @10:47AM

        by acid andy (1683) on Thursday December 27 2018, @10:47AM (#778954) Homepage Journal

        Ha yeah my crazy brain already went over the possibility he left a bot running to troll the forums... ;)

        --
        If a cat has kittens, does a rat have rittens, a bat bittens and a mat mittens?
  • (Score: 1) by Ethanol-fueled on Wednesday December 26 2018, @09:13PM (4 children)

    by Ethanol-fueled (2792) on Wednesday December 26 2018, @09:13PM (#778720) Homepage

    Miracle Whip is the bomb-diggity. With a few drops of Tabasco sauce mixed into it, it will be unstoppable, but probably less good for your anus. It would be awesome to see Ren and Stimpy eating broiled hogs' anuses though, imagine all of the cubbery-cartoon noises chewing them would make.

    • (Score: 1) by Sulla on Wednesday December 26 2018, @10:28PM (1 child)

      by Sulla (5173) on Wednesday December 26 2018, @10:28PM (#778761) Journal

      16. Not being required to buy a new mattress

      --
      Ceterum censeo Sinae esse delendam
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 27 2018, @09:14AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 27 2018, @09:14AM (#778939)

        Have you tried rent-a-geisha.com?

    • (Score: 3, Informative) by Subsentient on Thursday December 27 2018, @03:07AM

      by Subsentient (1111) on Thursday December 27 2018, @03:07AM (#778870) Homepage Journal
      --
      "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 27 2018, @09:37AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Thursday December 27 2018, @09:37AM (#778942)

      A friend of mine named Tricky once put Deep Heat on his dick then went into class.

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by Azuma Hazuki on Wednesday December 26 2018, @10:30PM

    by Azuma Hazuki (5086) on Wednesday December 26 2018, @10:30PM (#778764) Journal

    You can still make good bone broth with the freezer-burned stuff. Don't waste meat!

    --
    I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...