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from the With-great-beard-comes-great-responsibility dept.
Philosophers deal with real, empirical, questions! From Quartzy, the ethical question of male facial hair.
Those who believe growing a beard is a personal fashion choice need to reconsider. The bristly facial hair of men is, in fact, the physical embodiment of deep ethical and aesthetic considerations. Henry Pratt, philosophy professor at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, wrote a detailed analysis of such philosophical conundrums in his aptly titled paper, “To Beard or Not to Beard: Ethical and Aesthetic Obligations and Facial Hair.”
Why now: well, it all goes back to the "fool says in his heart" guy, St. Anselm.
In this paper, presented at the January 2019 eastern division meeting of the American Philosophical Association in New York, Pratt considers the premise set out by Saint Anselm of Canterbury, an 11th century philosopher. Anselm writes:
Not having a beard is not dishonorable for a man who is not yet supposed to have a beard, but once he ought to have a beard, it is unbecoming for him not to have one. In the same way, not having justice is not a defect in a nature that is not obligated to have justice, but it is disgraceful for a nature that ought to have it.
The take-away:
However, one surprising consequence of my philosophical work on pogonotrophy is that I now find myself thinking that the choices made by myself and others about what to grow on our faces are actually pretty important. I find myself wondering whether I should worry about the masculinity projected by my beard, and the effects thereof. I also consider whether friends and associates should have the facial hair they grow. But just as it’s a bad idea to tell other parents they’re raising their kids wrong, I think it’s a bad idea to tell others that their beards are wrong. So far.
Other relevant sources:
The Philosophy of Beards: A Lecture Physiological, Artistic and Historical, by Thomas Gowing; 1875;
The Philosopher’s Beard
Beard Taxes!
The Gentleman Lawyer’s Guide to Facial Hair
"Law of Conservation of Facial Hair" still applies.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday January 24 2019, @02:37AM (9 children)
I'm aware some stare at my hair.
In fact, to be fair,
Some really despair of my hair.
But I don't care,
Cause they're not aware,
Nor are they devonaire.
In fact, they're just square.
They see hair down to there,
Say, "Beware" and go off on a tear!
I say, "No fair!"
A head that's bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
Show it you care.
Wear it to there.
Or to there.
Or to there, if you dare!
My wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
Did I care?
Au contraire!
Spare hair is fair!
In fact, hair can be rare.
Fred Astair got no hair,
Nor does a chair,
Nor nor a chocolate eclair,
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon frere!
So now that I've shared this affair of the hair,
I'm going to repair to my lair and use Nair, do you care?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday January 24 2019, @03:00AM (2 children)
While I appreciate the effort you should mix up the rhymes every few lines...
(Score: 2) by edIII on Thursday January 24 2019, @03:23AM (1 child)
Disagree. It gave it a certain character.
Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
(Score: 2) by aristarchus on Thursday January 24 2019, @04:52AM
Citation needed! As this is quite clearly classic George Carlin. Plagiarism, even on SoylentNews, is not cool. Now copyright violation, and the more violent the better, that is OK.
(Score: 4, Funny) by driverless on Thursday January 24 2019, @09:50AM (5 children)
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a beard”.
(Score: 3, Funny) by AthanasiusKircher on Thursday January 24 2019, @02:30PM (4 children)
Ooh, this sounds fun -- can I try?
"It was the best of beards, it was the worst of beards, it was the beard of wisdom, it was the beard of foolishness, it was the facial hair of belief, it was the facial hair of incredulity, it was the season of Beardedness, it was the season of Beardlessness, it was the goatee of hope, it was the mutton chops of despair."
"Call me Bearded."
"Happy beards are all alike; every unhappy beard is unhappy in its own way."
"I have an invisible beard."
"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I started the beard, and what my lousy scruff was like, and how my follicles were occupied and all before they had my beard, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."
"He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without trimming his beard."
"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty hairs of the beards that struggled against the barbers."
(Score: 2) by driverless on Thursday January 24 2019, @02:47PM (3 children)
"What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of Gillettes and some shaving cream. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your beard".
(Score: 3, Funny) by fyngyrz on Thursday January 24 2019, @04:15PM (2 children)
It was a dark and hirsute face outside the gates of Paris.
I, having been challenged, had the choice of blades.
I chose my rusty, trusty razor;
I turned; I shaved!
My opponent's beard fell through his second's arms!
I have shaved a beard, cried I!
A beard, said they?
A beard, said I.
Bristles! My beard! We must meet!
It was a dark and hirsute face outside the gates of Paris...
--
Entropy is a bitch.
(Score: 2) by driverless on Monday January 28 2019, @11:23PM (1 child)
Definitely the best one in the thread :-).
(Score: 2) by fyngyrz on Tuesday January 29 2019, @12:23AM
Thankq, suh. :)
--
I feel like I'm in season 5 of my life and the writers are
making ridiculous stuff happen to keep it interesting.