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Have you tried taking it off and putting it back on again?
"My left shoe won't even reboot": Faulty app bricks Nike smart sneakers
Nike users are experiencing some technical difficulties in the wild world of connected footwear. Nike's $350 "Adapt BB" sneakers are the latest in the company's line of self-lacing shoes, and they come with the "Nike Adapt" app for Android and iOS. The app pairs with the shoes and lets you adjust the tightness of the laces, customize the lights (yeah, there are lights), and see, uh, how much battery life your shoes have left. The only problem: Nike's Android app doesn't work.
Android users report that their new kicks aren't paring with the app properly, and some customers report failed firmware updates for the shoes, which render them unable to pair with the app at all. Nike's app on Google Play has been flooded with 1-star reviews in response to the faulty update.
One user writes, "The first software update for the shoe threw an error while updating, bricking the right shoe." Another says, "App will only sync with left shoe and then fails every time. Also, app says left shoe is already connected to another device whenever I try to reinstall and start over."
"My left shoe won't even reboot." writes another. One user offers a possible solution, saying, "You need to do a manual reset of both shoes per the instructions."
(Score: 5, Insightful) by Runaway1956 on Friday February 22 2019, @02:59PM (26 children)
Someone, tell me this is an Onion story. Please.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:00PM (2 children)
Do they use BlueToe(tm)?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:53PM (1 child)
Abort, Retry, Fail?
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Saturday February 23 2019, @12:45AM
Bricked Shoe Of Dumb.
(Score: 4, Interesting) by opinionated_science on Friday February 22 2019, @03:11PM (11 children)
the *absolute* best thing about this story, is learning about Lock Laces. [amazon.com]
Now *thats* modern tech! /s
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday February 22 2019, @04:24PM (1 child)
The Spartans had lock laces. If the Athenians had them, they certainly didn't give them to little boys.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @11:10PM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty_in_ancient_Greece#Sparta [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 3, Interesting) by HiThere on Friday February 22 2019, @05:38PM (7 children)
I notice those things are "elastic". I wonder how long you can use them before they wear out. In the last decade I've experienced elastic wearing out increasingly rapidly. (I suspect that it's cheaper to make elastic that wears out quickly, but it's gotten to the point that I *try* to avoid buying things that depend on elastic to work.)
Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:12PM (1 child)
Underwear for example? And is your username also your catchphrase?
(Score: 2) by HiThere on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:11PM
You did note the "try"? And, yes, underwear is one of the places I noticed elastic wearing out quickly. These days I supplement the "elastic" with a shoelace tied around the top. Ugh!, and it's a nuisance, but it works better than the elastic after the elastic has been washed a couple of times.
Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by opinionated_science on Friday February 22 2019, @06:45PM (1 child)
I was reading the testimonials from triathletes (I have been one) and the tightening after lacing. After about 10k shoes sort of shake loose, and this may help keep them in place.
I think I *may* have encountered them at a race, but it had slipped my mind until now!!
I almost lost my coffee reading the headline because I *knew* this was it!!
(Score: 2) by HiThere on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:13PM
Ok. For something to wear in races, and replace often, I can see them. Or perhaps they use a good grade of elastic. (I know that such used to exist, because a decade or so ago that was the only kind I encountered.)
Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
(Score: 4, Informative) by edIII on Friday February 22 2019, @08:38PM (2 children)
I use them. They're awesome. Been using them for well over a year now too. Elastic has held up just fine. However, the springs on the locks can grow a little weaker over time. For heavy hiking boots and active outdoor activities it will eventually loosen. I solved that by using two locks and have had no problems since. For regular shoes, the locks seem to be just fine.
The only truly annoying thing are the caps you put on the end. They're not factory, but done by the customer after cutting them to the length you want. Similar to a crimp connection, but they are easily the weakest link of the whole thing. If you get them you may want to consider a different kind of tip, or putting some epoxy in them.
Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
(Score: 3, Touché) by darkfeline on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:29AM (1 child)
Does not tying shoelaces really qualify for the use of the word "awesome"? Maybe you should learn to tie shoelaces properly, and I'm not being sardonic.
First, you should make sure you're tying a square knot and not a granny knot. They look similar, but the latter will come loose and the former will not.
Second, you should learn the fast method (sometimes called Ian knot). All it takes is a single pull to tie the knot.
It would take maybe half a second longer at most than said elastic lock laces, but works with good old shoelaces and is always dependable.
Join the SDF Public Access UNIX System today!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:00PM
Most of these guys barely made it out of the basement, and now you expect them to tie their own shoes?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:27PM
Who needs lock laces? For normal walking around (not running), I just thread the long ends of the shoelaces under all the criss-cross lacing, so the tips (aiglets) stick out over my toes. There is enough friction that the shoes stay tight with a very occasional tug on the loose ends sticking forward.
(Score: 3, Informative) by RS3 on Friday February 22 2019, @03:18PM (2 children)
It's all about tracking software.
(Score: 5, Funny) by BsAtHome on Friday February 22 2019, @04:50PM (1 child)
The DRM in the shoes will prevent you from walking unauthorized walks. Please deposit the proper amount of monetary tokens. Your shoes will be ready for take-off in due time. Please be patient while we verify your walk request.
*** Your walk request was denied ***
Error: the walk process detected planning of ambiguous moves. Your request was forwarded to the proper authorities(*).
(*) Ministry of silly walks.
(Score: 2) by iWantToKeepAnon on Friday February 22 2019, @05:12PM
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." -- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:24PM
Yes. Sure. Based on a true story though [espn.com].
(Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:34PM (3 children)
The Kaepernick malware has spread to the entire Nike left shoe supply.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:25PM (2 children)
Pathetic. You not Kaepernick.
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:04PM (1 child)
And I won't buy anything from sponsors that traitor.
(Score: 3, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:41PM
Traitor? Since when is exercising one's right to free expression "traitorous?"
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:42PM (1 child)
I think I might be a minor character in a comedy movie. There is no way "My left shoe won't even reboot" is something anyone would ever need to say, ever.
P.S. I know I'm not the lead because the rest of my life just isn't that funny.
(Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Friday February 22 2019, @07:27PM
There is no way "My left shoe won't even reboot" is something anyone would ever need to say, ever.
It could be downright deadly for this guy! [imdb.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:38PM
The Onion, or my first thought was April Fools day.