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COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump's hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.
"As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale," a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. "We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime, pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale."
"Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government," the spokesperson added.
A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country "to be determined," with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.
If Denmark's bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. "We believe that by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation," the spokesperson said.
Attention Denmark: at least our politicians are for sale, regardless of party affiliation, to purchasers both foreign and domestic.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by braddollar on Friday August 16 2019, @10:57PM (2 children)
Does something from the andy borowitz deserve the politics label?
I mean it's funny, and a second after being misled by the headline and seeing borowitz I know it's satire, but really shouldn't it get labeled as satire instead of politics? I'd just prefer clarity of obfuscation for the sake of laughs.
(Score: 2) by AthanasiusKircher on Saturday August 17 2019, @03:13AM (1 child)
Yeah, I was confused too. Are we running satire stories deliberately now? If so, I think they should have their own label, which should appear in the headline. I just skimmed the content without noticing the "Borowitz Report" think listed at the start, so I assumed it was potentially real. Which would have been hilarious if Denmark actually responded this way.
Seriously -- I'm all for running some humor articles. But if it's satire, and it's not April 1st, it needs to be identified as such.
(Score: 3, Touché) by janrinok on Saturday August 17 2019, @04:55AM
It might be seen as saying a lot about how people currently view the USA if they cannot tell satire from fact.
I'm a European and I began laughing as soon as I saw the title. Perhaps we haven't lost the ability to laugh at ourselves yet.