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COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump's hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead.
"As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale," a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. "We have noted, however, that during the Trump regime, pretty much everything in the United States, including its government, has most definitely been for sale."
"Denmark would be interested in purchasing the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its government," the spokesperson added.
A key provision of the purchase offer, the spokesperson said, would be the relocation of Donald Trump to another country "to be determined," with Russia and North Korea cited as possible destinations.
If Denmark's bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has ambitious plans for its new acquisition. "We believe that by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation," the spokesperson said.
Attention Denmark: at least our politicians are for sale, regardless of party affiliation, to purchasers both foreign and domestic.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by edIII on Saturday August 17 2019, @09:56PM
In all fairness, it was funny as hell at Trump's expense. Trumpers, predictably, come out to defend him (along with Russian bots/trolls). Who has normalized such communications between governments and public officials? Why, it's Trump again :)
So I don't find it that much of a stretch that a Trump supporter would launch themselves into a tirade over Denmark acting exactly like Trump on the Internet. Which is to say, devaluing people, spreading lies, lobbing insults, and bestowing derisive nicknames like we're all on a playground of 5 year old children.
Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.