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Nerds Wake Up in Utopia where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports are Canceled, Socializing Forbidden

posted by martyb on Saturday March 14 2020, @10:46PM   Printer-friendly
from the sign-me-up-for-the-next-hermit-convention dept.

Phoenix666 writes:

Babylon Bee:

The nation's nerds woke up in a utopia this morning, one where everyone stays inside, sporting events are being canceled, and all social interaction is forbidden.

All types of nerds, from social introverts to hardcore PC gamers, welcomed the dawn of this new era, privately from their own homes.

"I have been waiting my whole life for this moment," said Ned Pendleton, 32 -- via text message, of course -- as he fired up League of Legends on his beefy gaming PC. "They told me to take up a sport and that the kids playing basketball and stuff were gonna be way more successful than us nerds who played Counter-Strike at LAN parties every weekend."

Always look on the bright side of life.

[Certainly an element of gallows humor, but it does offer a different perspective from the incessant drumbeat of gloom and doom surrounding the current SARS-CoV-2 pandemic. What "positives" have you seen? --martyb]

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  • (Score: 0, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday March 14 2020, @11:15PM (4 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday March 14 2020, @11:15PM (#971369)

    Fewer boomers means less social security expenditure, so still a win-win.

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  • (Score: 2) by barbara hudson on Sunday March 15 2020, @12:53AM (2 children)

    by barbara hudson (6443) <barbara.Jane.hudson@icloud.com> on Sunday March 15 2020, @12:53AM (#971402) Journal
    That would actually mean fewer old people spending money on goods and services. So lower gdp.
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    • (Score: 2) by Mykl on Sunday March 15 2020, @09:52PM (1 child)

      by Mykl (1112) on Sunday March 15 2020, @09:52PM (#971683)

      Nah - the money will go to their kids, who will spend up big!

      • (Score: 2) by barbara hudson on Tuesday March 17 2020, @11:07PM

        by barbara hudson (6443) <barbara.Jane.hudson@icloud.com> on Tuesday March 17 2020, @11:07PM (#972532) Journal
        What money? With old people dropping like flies, there will be an oversupply of boomer-sized houses, meaning a price crash. They'll be cheap, but nobody will have money.
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        SoylentNews is social media. Says so right in the slogan. Soylentnews is people, not tech.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @12:59AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @12:59AM (#971404)

    Yay, more money to throw at the MIC!
    What, did you think reduced expenditure meant your taxes would go down?