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from the sign-me-up-for-the-next-hermit-convention dept.
The nation's nerds woke up in a utopia this morning, one where everyone stays inside, sporting events are being canceled, and all social interaction is forbidden.
All types of nerds, from social introverts to hardcore PC gamers, welcomed the dawn of this new era, privately from their own homes.
"I have been waiting my whole life for this moment," said Ned Pendleton, 32 -- via text message, of course -- as he fired up League of Legends on his beefy gaming PC. "They told me to take up a sport and that the kids playing basketball and stuff were gonna be way more successful than us nerds who played Counter-Strike at LAN parties every weekend."
Always look on the bright side of life.
[Certainly an element of gallows humor, but it does offer a different perspective from the incessant drumbeat of gloom and doom surrounding the current SARS-CoV-2 pandemic. What "positives" have you seen? --martyb]
(Score: 4, Interesting) by Snotnose on Sunday March 15 2020, @02:02AM (19 children)
I was out of action for the past week because I'm old and my foot realized that. Been sitting in my La-Z-Boy for the past week with some cream on my foot (Doctor's orders + $20, cheaper than my co-pay), 2 veggie packs for same (one warms up, into the freezer it goes and I pull out the other one), and a cat that doesn't understand what is going on but is perfectly happy with all the luvin's she's been getting for a week.
Now that my foot is (almost) back to normal everything I do all week is cancelled. Worse, it's raining a lot, so I can't just head out for a hike. Worstest, my best friend is sick with something unrelated to the current kerfluffle and I can't do anything with her.
On the other hand, I have enough toilet paper and food (assuming water and electricity) to get me through 3 weeks (food) and 6 months (tp). And ammo, I shouldn't forget I have plenty of ammo to fend off any stinky ass-ed neighbors who didn't stock up on TP.
When the dust settled America realized it was saved by a porn star.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @02:26AM (2 children)
I have the exact opposite situation.
Two weeks ago job sucked and I was going to quit or be fired. Then I got switched to a different dept and my employer decided we should all work from home - bingo! At least a month of time off to get used to the new place and recover from the last. No sick time or vacation time used up! The only downside is my wife is also home 24/7 so I can dissolve myself in whisky and weed all day long.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @02:31AM (1 child)
Can, can't, or cain't?
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Monday March 16 2020, @05:50PM
I'd be going with cain't at that point . . .
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:07AM (11 children)
This has been bugging me: WTF is it about TP hoarding? This is happening all over the world! How much TP do people need to feel comfortable? And it isn't like it is a limited resource. What the hell are people doing with all this stuff? Fine, you've managed to accumulate a gallon each of rubbing alcohol, H2O2, and hand sanitizer (well, not you, but my hypothetical hoarder), why do you need all that shit at home? This is fucking nuts.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:33AM
People are panicky and stupid. Now I bought a 32 pack last week but that's because I was about out of TP and I always buy a 32 pack so I don't have to think about it again for a long time. Frankly, I'm seriously considering buying a 3/8" T fitting and feeding a kitchen sink sprayer as well as the toilet tank as a sort of redneck bidet. I very much doubt there'll be a run on plumbing parts. Don't think I'll have the nerve to use it in the winter though.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:37AM (1 child)
It's baffling.
You don't need hand sanitizer if you have soap and water. Wash your hands (which is more effective anyway).
You can get by without toilet paper, you're at home with a shower. Wash your ass (which is again, more effective anyway).
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @11:04AM
You don't always have a sink and water available. I guess if you're forced to stay at home you will, but you may not have soap either, last time I looked, there wasn't any at all, so I bought an extra bottle of shower gel just in case as it can always be used for washing hands if needed.
But if you are still going out, having hand sanitiser is advisable. But what the nutters don't realise is that by hogging all the hand sanitiser, they stop other people buying it, people who might be willing to use it if they had some (like me, I wouldn't normally bother so I don't have any, but this isn't a normal situation), these people without sanitiser then get infected and end up spreading it around because they can't sanitise their hands.
It is to everyone's benefit to not stockpile so everyone can access it to minimise the spread, but people are stupid.
For TP, worst case if you run out of TP at home, you can always hop in the shower and wash it instead.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:44AM
Caveman: Toilet paper
Demigod: Electronic bidet
(Score: 5, Funny) by Snotnose on Sunday March 15 2020, @04:44AM (1 child)
Quite a few of my friends have been giving me TP. Half of them say it's because I'm full of shit, the other half say I'm a sensitive asshole.
Whatever, free TP!
When the dust settled America realized it was saved by a porn star.
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Sunday March 15 2020, @04:55AM
Now, that's some funny shit!
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Sunday March 15 2020, @04:57AM
Like some others, we are always well-stocked with paper. And, I can make do without TP if I have to.
The important question is, will this have any impact on coffee?
(Score: 1) by khallow on Sunday March 15 2020, @04:18PM (1 child)
It probably started somewhere with the Chinese (since I've read of toilet paper outages in Hong Kong) someone sparked a rumor that diarrhea was a part of the disease sparking a first run on toilet paper, locally. Then when people in other countries read of the epidemic, the toilet paper shortage story was prominent enough to encourage outliers to hoard toilet paper, generating a dynamic that resulted in TP0. Since, the story has taken on a life of its own with shortages in places that have yet to see the disease (such as rural Montana, for example).
(Score: 2) by toddestan on Sunday March 15 2020, @07:41PM
Toilet paper is also fairly cheap. Grabbing a case of it is not a big investment. It also keeps forever, and it's something that you'll use up one way or another. Because of that, I'm guessing that even reasonable people, if they are out shopping and see that there happens to be some TP stocked on the shelf - might decide to throw a pack in their cart even if they don't need it.
At least the toilet paper will get used up eventually. I have to wonder how much of the food that people panic-buy just ends up sitting around because it's not something they would normally eat, and then eventually it gets old and they throw it out.
(Score: 2) by slap on Sunday March 15 2020, @05:28PM
Target usually has a sale on TP but you have to buy two or three packages to get a $5-$15 gift card. And since the big packages usually have the lowest cost per roll, you end up with a substantial amount of TP to get the best deal.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Snotnose on Sunday March 15 2020, @07:02PM
It's simple. The virus affects the lungs, so you cough a lot.
hmmm, that doesn't make any sense. How about this: People are stupid.
Wasn't that long ago I coughed to hide a fart. Now I fart to hide a cough. Interesting times we live in.
When the dust settled America realized it was saved by a porn star.
(Score: 2) by linkdude64 on Sunday March 15 2020, @08:20AM (3 children)
Keep your weapon within arms reach like they do in the military. It only takes one hungry urban youth to try and steal something from the old rayciss down the way.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @06:03PM (2 children)
Sweet jesus you're gonna murder some kid cause you're a nutjob.
I'm staring into my crystal ball, I see you in a little booth marking a piece of paper. You chuckle to yourself, knock over the back wall with a sudden extended gesture, and put a mark next to the big Turd.
You can tell a Trump voter by the level of stupid they let escape from their head.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @06:57PM
You're a fucking bigot if you don't let robbers break in to your home and take your food.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday March 15 2020, @07:16PM
Healthy people have been brawling over toilet paper this week. No way would starving people invade homes to steal food!
Ok libtard. Remember to leave your doors unlocked.