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posted by martyb on Saturday March 14 2020, @10:46PM   Printer-friendly
from the sign-me-up-for-the-next-hermit-convention dept.

Babylon Bee:

The nation's nerds woke up in a utopia this morning, one where everyone stays inside, sporting events are being canceled, and all social interaction is forbidden.

All types of nerds, from social introverts to hardcore PC gamers, welcomed the dawn of this new era, privately from their own homes.

"I have been waiting my whole life for this moment," said Ned Pendleton, 32 -- via text message, of course -- as he fired up League of Legends on his beefy gaming PC. "They told me to take up a sport and that the kids playing basketball and stuff were gonna be way more successful than us nerds who played Counter-Strike at LAN parties every weekend."

Always look on the bright side of life.

[Certainly an element of gallows humor, but it does offer a different perspective from the incessant drumbeat of gloom and doom surrounding the current SARS-CoV-2 pandemic. What "positives" have you seen? --martyb]


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  • (Score: 1) by khallow on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:41AM (8 children)

    by khallow (3766) Subscriber Badge on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:41AM (#971468) Journal
    Let us note that probably was the original plan for solvency, plus having lots of kids.
  • (Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday March 15 2020, @10:27AM (7 children)

    It most definitely was part of the plan. The life expectancy was considerably shorter back then. You can't run a successful Ponzi Scheme if everyone is able to get their money back eventually.

    --
    My rights don't end where your fear begins.
    • (Score: 3, Insightful) by JoeMerchant on Sunday March 15 2020, @12:36PM (6 children)

      by JoeMerchant (3937) on Sunday March 15 2020, @12:36PM (#971543)

      Hey kids: I bet you didn't know your were born to fill in the bottom of a pyramid scheme!

      --
      🌻🌻 [google.com]
      • (Score: 1) by khallow on Sunday March 15 2020, @02:32PM (5 children)

        by khallow (3766) Subscriber Badge on Sunday March 15 2020, @02:32PM (#971566) Journal
        The learning about it is the fun!

        Having said that, I first learned about the Social Security/Medicare problem in the late 1980s from a discarded book, with a photo of colored matchsticks displayed in some of US flag-colored pattern (US outline or flag, I don't recall) caught in the act of burning away. The book exaggerated the situation somewhat, but was still a remarkable bit of prognostication. 30 years later, here we are going through the start of the problems that book detailed.

        I also find it remarkable how some of the more vocal defenders here will take the brunt of the fallout from these pyramid schemes' failures. It's like it's karma.
        • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:16PM (4 children)

          by JoeMerchant (3937) on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:16PM (#971571)

          Like Malthus, anybody can do the math and see the looming problem - predicting the date that the market stampedes off the cliff irretrievably is the trick.

          --
          🌻🌻 [google.com]
          • (Score: 1) by khallow on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:50PM (3 children)

            by khallow (3766) Subscriber Badge on Sunday March 15 2020, @03:50PM (#971580) Journal

            predicting the date that the market stampedes off the cliff irretrievably is the trick.

            It's not the market that will stampede here. My guess is someone with a perfect haircut, white teeth, and a truckload of empty promises will do the job all under the guise of protecting those programs - printing money to cover obligations they can't dodge, killing elderly patients through neglect to lower demand, taxing more, and of course, forcing as many people as they can off that cliff for that greater good.

            • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Sunday March 15 2020, @04:09PM (2 children)

              by JoeMerchant (3937) on Sunday March 15 2020, @04:09PM (#971589)

              The system is global, some countries have limited impact, but the major players in the major markets have more impact on the success and failure of government programs than anything the lawmakers can do. The biggest player of all is consumer sentiment - if too many consumers all pucker up and start hoarding toilet paper, there's no stopping the inevitable messy results - and consumer sentiment affects far more than toiletries.

              --
              🌻🌻 [google.com]
              • (Score: 1) by khallow on Sunday March 15 2020, @06:30PM (1 child)

                by khallow (3766) Subscriber Badge on Sunday March 15 2020, @06:30PM (#971640) Journal

                but the major players in the major markets have more impact on the success and failure of government programs than anything the lawmakers can do. The biggest player of all is consumer sentiment - if too many consumers all pucker up and start hoarding toilet paper, there's no stopping the inevitable messy results

                That's pretty flimsy even for toilet paper. The messy results are negated by private parties making more toilet paper and consumers eventually running out of places to put all that toilet paper. Consumer sentiment doesn't have anything to do with programs like Social Security or Medicare which are demand controlled - you get what you get. OTOH, if you're saying that there are unintended consequences from "major players" due to monkeying around with these huge programs? Well, me too!

                • (Score: 3, Interesting) by JoeMerchant on Sunday March 15 2020, @06:44PM

                  by JoeMerchant (3937) on Sunday March 15 2020, @06:44PM (#971644)

                  The messy results are negated by private parties making more toilet paper

                  But, does this happen before the shit hits the fan? Not for the majority of consumers who seem likely to run out before restocking happens. In slightly more serious areas: acquaintances of ours work in the prison system, they use face masks year round for protection against various things various inmates are infected with - guess who just ran 100% out of facemasks this morning?

                  Consumer sentiment doesn't have anything to do with programs like Social Security or Medicare

                  Various forms of consumer sentiment determine the majority of the federal tax income stream. Did Clinton "balance the budget"? That brief, apparently accidental, budget balancing was mostly a result of how the economy was running - including an opening of investor wallets on an unprecedented scale, in combination with a lack of Republican trashing of the federal budget for a few years. It's all tied together.

                  --
                  🌻🌻 [google.com]