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Twenty years ago, I started my career in the US nuclear power industry. I had a graduate degree in nuclear engineering, much better than average IT/computer skills, a hunger to learn as much as I could about my chosen profession, and an ambition to work my way up into a position of responsibility and authority. In those early days, I loved my work so much that I almost couldn't believe I was getting paid. It was exciting and fulfilling, and I really had high hopes for the future.

Then, along the way, life happened. Everything changed, I moved a few times, and I ended up in Canada... married to a wonderful woman, and becoming a step-father to a beautiful 3-year old girl. I found a job in the Canadian nuclear power industry, but I was no longer doing the hard technical work that had characterized the first part of my career. I still retained some of the enthusiasm and ambition I'd once had, but unfortunately, that didn't last.

I enjoyed some of the work I did along the way, especially if it involved databases, analysis, and process improvement. Eventually, though, I ended up doing work that I found uninteresting and unfulfilling; necessary work, of course, but not something I can stand doing for much longer. Now I'm in my mid 40s and relatively happy in my personal life, but I know things could be better; professionally, I've stagnated. I've reached a plateau in pay and responsibility that can only be surpassed by entering management, but I no longer seem to have any real interest in ascending the corporate ladder.

So, this is my midlife nerd crisis. My brain is seriously underutilized, but I no longer seem to have any career goals that excite me. It's sad to say, but I'm more concerned about making it to retirement with a decent pension than I am about advancement and making a difference. I'm very thankful to have this job, and the long-term security it seems to provide, but I don't look forward to another 15 or 20 years of this.

If I were to check out right now, people would probably say I went with a whimper rather than a bang, and that is not something I can tolerate. I'm not necessarily looking for advice, but I could really use some inspiration. Has anyone out there experienced this? If you managed to surpass it, please tell me what you did and how it worked out. If you're currently in the same situation, tell me how you're dealing with it now and if you have any ideas on how to conquer it. If your time has come and gone, and you feel you should have done things differently, what actions would you take if you had a do-over?

(Feel free to be brutally honest. Maybe I need to get angry. Maybe I need to feel anything other than what I feel right now.)