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posted by martyb on Saturday April 11 2015, @05:02PM   Printer-friendly
from the is-SoylentNews-ruining-your-marriage? dept.

Anthony D'Ambrosio writes at USA Today that marriage seems like a pretty simple concept — fall in love and share your life together. Our great-grandparents did it, our grandparents followed suit, and for many of us, our parents did it as well. So why is marriage so difficult for the millennial generation?

"You want to know why your grandmother and grandfather just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary? Because they weren't scrolling through Instagram worrying about what John ate for dinner. They weren't on Facebook criticizing others. They weren't on vacation sending Snapchats to their friends." According to D'Ambrosio, we've developed relationships with things, not each other. "Ninety-five percent of the personal conversations you have on a daily basis occur through some type of technology. We've removed human emotion from our relationships, and we've replaced it colorful bubbles," writes D'Ambrosio. "We've forgotten how to communicate yet expect healthy marriages. How is it possible to grow and mature together if we barely speak?"

D'Ambrosio writes that another factor is that our desire for attention outweighs our desire to be loved and that social media has given everyone an opportunity to be famous. "Attention you couldn't dream of getting unless you were celebrity is now a selfie away. Post a picture, and thousands of strangers will like it. Wear less clothing, and guess what? More likes," writes D'Ambrosio.

"If you want to love someone, stop seeking attention from everyone because you'll never be satisfied with the attention from one person." Finally D'Ambrosio says the loss of privacy has contributed to the demise of marriage. "We've invited strangers into our homes and brought them on dates with us. We've shown them our wardrobe, drove with them in our cars, and we even showed them our bathing suits," writes D'Ambrosio. "The world we live in today has put roadblocks in the way of getting there and living a happy life with someone. Some things are in our control, and unfortunately, others are not."

 
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  • (Score: 4, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 11 2015, @05:46PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 11 2015, @05:46PM (#168997)

    OK, more detail. It isn't fair to make a blanket statement like that nor will it be believed.

    Be very careful about getting married. Marriage isn't about love -- it's about property. You can just live with someone you love, but we've added this mystique about marriage that falsely links it to love. Honestly, you will know it's all about property when you find the relationship is over and you want out. Make sure you mary someone who will contribute to the relationship, not suck it dry (lazy with economic-work often accompanies lazy with relationship-work). If you have drive to succeed, absolutely do not mary a lazy person. You will become the victim of inverse prostitution -- you'll be paying out the nose to get away from that person who mooched and complained through the last 95% of your relationship. You will find yourself in a total nightmare as you become the private welfare system for your ex.

    Take marriage seriously -- it is likely the biggest economic risk you will ever take.

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  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 11 2015, @06:05PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 11 2015, @06:05PM (#169008)

    Better yet, don't take it seriously, because it's garbage; don't get married at all.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday April 12 2015, @06:53AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday April 12 2015, @06:53AM (#169267)
    Marriage isn't necessarily about love or property; it's about commitment. Love often grows out of it, but that isn't the core. The aspects concerned with property are the hollow husk of what used to be, at least ostensibly, a marriage partnership. Marriage without commitment is empty, and commitment needs constant work to be maintained, and careful management to yield any love.

    Take marriage seriously, or you end up getting fucked while you're tearing apart the husk to divvy it up.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday April 12 2015, @01:46PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday April 12 2015, @01:46PM (#169319)

      Marriage isn't necessarily about love or property; it's about commitment.

      Marriage is just some legal nonsense with some magical thinking attached to it by religious people. I know people who aren't married who shows lots of commitment. Getting married would not change their situation (except on the legal side maybe) because marriage is not some magical thing that actually affects relationships.

      Marriage without commitment is empty, and commitment needs constant work to be maintained, and careful management to yield any love.

      Sounds like the commitment or lack thereof existed before the marriage.

      Take marriage seriously, or you end up getting fucked while you're tearing apart the husk to divvy it up.

      Take relationships seriously.