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Anthony D'Ambrosio writes at USA Today that marriage seems like a pretty simple concept — fall in love and share your life together. Our great-grandparents did it, our grandparents followed suit, and for many of us, our parents did it as well. So why is marriage so difficult for the millennial generation?
"You want to know why your grandmother and grandfather just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary? Because they weren't scrolling through Instagram worrying about what John ate for dinner. They weren't on Facebook criticizing others. They weren't on vacation sending Snapchats to their friends." According to D'Ambrosio, we've developed relationships with things, not each other. "Ninety-five percent of the personal conversations you have on a daily basis occur through some type of technology. We've removed human emotion from our relationships, and we've replaced it colorful bubbles," writes D'Ambrosio. "We've forgotten how to communicate yet expect healthy marriages. How is it possible to grow and mature together if we barely speak?"
D'Ambrosio writes that another factor is that our desire for attention outweighs our desire to be loved and that social media has given everyone an opportunity to be famous. "Attention you couldn't dream of getting unless you were celebrity is now a selfie away. Post a picture, and thousands of strangers will like it. Wear less clothing, and guess what? More likes," writes D'Ambrosio.
"If you want to love someone, stop seeking attention from everyone because you'll never be satisfied with the attention from one person." Finally D'Ambrosio says the loss of privacy has contributed to the demise of marriage. "We've invited strangers into our homes and brought them on dates with us. We've shown them our wardrobe, drove with them in our cars, and we even showed them our bathing suits," writes D'Ambrosio. "The world we live in today has put roadblocks in the way of getting there and living a happy life with someone. Some things are in our control, and unfortunately, others are not."
(Score: 4, Disagree) by Grishnakh on Saturday April 11 2015, @07:45PM
The problem with millenials is not about their desire to be followed or loved (which is the same desire, contrary to what d'Ambrosio believes).
It's that they are not mature enough to be able to love somebody outside of themselves, especially without condition ("unconditional love").
This is a bunch of crap.
The reason millenials aren't getting married is because they've seen what it's really like for their parents and others of older generations, and seen that it really isn't a very good deal at all, so they're wisely avoiding it.
Marriage worked out great back in the old days when women were chattel and men had all the power in society. Women's opinions were mostly irrelevant, and if they were unhappy with their place in society, tough shit. They had to cook, clean, etc. and that was it, and they didn't have many career opportunities. So they needed to marry someone who could provide for them, or else have a miserable life (unless they were independently wealthy, perhaps being an heir of wealthy parents), so they had to find someone who'd be a good long-term partner, though not necessarily someone they were all that attracted to. Not any more; now women don't need men.
Societies with arranged marriages also have stable marriages, but there again it's because there's not much emotion involved, it's really for purely practical purposes.
So basically, marriage is a product of an older time and no longer really fits modern society, at least the way we westerners are living.
(Score: 1) by jcm on Sunday April 12 2015, @11:07AM
The reason millenials aren't getting married is because they've seen what it's really like for their parents and others of older generations, and seen that it really isn't a very good deal at all, so they're wisely avoiding it.
I agree that before my generation (I'm not a millenial), women could not escape their marriage.
But I would not be so affirmative.
It's true that marriage may be a bad deal, and that's why there is a lot of divorces.
In my opinion, it's because people get married for the wrong reasons.
In France, we have a lot of stepfamilies, which is a way to recognize that even if we failed once at building a family, it doesn't mean that a stable marriage is impossible.
In our modern society, it's easy to find partners (especially for millenials !), but difficult to build lasting relations because we expect so much from our partner.