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from the is-SoylentNews-ruining-your-marriage? dept.
Anthony D'Ambrosio writes at USA Today that marriage seems like a pretty simple concept — fall in love and share your life together. Our great-grandparents did it, our grandparents followed suit, and for many of us, our parents did it as well. So why is marriage so difficult for the millennial generation?
"You want to know why your grandmother and grandfather just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary? Because they weren't scrolling through Instagram worrying about what John ate for dinner. They weren't on Facebook criticizing others. They weren't on vacation sending Snapchats to their friends." According to D'Ambrosio, we've developed relationships with things, not each other. "Ninety-five percent of the personal conversations you have on a daily basis occur through some type of technology. We've removed human emotion from our relationships, and we've replaced it colorful bubbles," writes D'Ambrosio. "We've forgotten how to communicate yet expect healthy marriages. How is it possible to grow and mature together if we barely speak?"
D'Ambrosio writes that another factor is that our desire for attention outweighs our desire to be loved and that social media has given everyone an opportunity to be famous. "Attention you couldn't dream of getting unless you were celebrity is now a selfie away. Post a picture, and thousands of strangers will like it. Wear less clothing, and guess what? More likes," writes D'Ambrosio.
"If you want to love someone, stop seeking attention from everyone because you'll never be satisfied with the attention from one person." Finally D'Ambrosio says the loss of privacy has contributed to the demise of marriage. "We've invited strangers into our homes and brought them on dates with us. We've shown them our wardrobe, drove with them in our cars, and we even showed them our bathing suits," writes D'Ambrosio. "The world we live in today has put roadblocks in the way of getting there and living a happy life with someone. Some things are in our control, and unfortunately, others are not."
(Score: 2) by Reziac on Sunday April 12 2015, @02:30AM
A friend is trans, and she's an attractive woman (with *nice* non-fake tits) especially for being 60-something! What gives it away are the coarser hair (head hair, not body hair) at the nape of her neck, and the shape of the muscling in her calves, both still decidedly male. Most people never notice, but one mutual acquaintance twigged to it right away.
And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
(Score: 2) by Grishnakh on Sunday April 12 2015, @02:50AM
Most people never notice
Most people don't notice because most people simply aren't very observant unless something is really obvious and out of the ordinary. Assuming you're a male, you could run around in a skirt and while a small minority of people might notice, most wouldn't at all, until you stood in front of them and pointed it out to them. People are just clueless and inobservant, in my experience. Now, if they're actually paying attention to something/someone (like if you're in a conversation with them), that's different, but just walking around in public, most people just aren't paying attention to other people around them.
Now if she's not detected by people even when they're in an extended face-to-face conversation with her, or other circumstance where they're around her for some length of time, that's impressive. However, it is hard to say if people can't tell, or if they're just being polite or simply don't care, and never say anything (because after all, isn't the ideal for someone like that to be able to live their life as a normal person of their new gender?).
(Score: 2) by Reziac on Sunday April 12 2015, @04:02AM
In our crowd I know there's at least a few people who haven't noticed (yes, really!), and in my judgment the rest don't care -- you are what you present, and after all these years no one even pays attention. Cuz like you say, ideally let folks live their lives as they wish.
And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.