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posted by CoolHand on Saturday May 09 2015, @06:02PM   Printer-friendly
from the paranoid-much? dept.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-05-07/jade-helm-15-prompts-texas-takeover-conspiracy/6452810

A paper published last year found that around half of the American public consistently endorses at least one conspiracy theory, and that many popular conspiracy theories are differentiated along ideological dimensions. Having said that, their research was pre-Snowden revelations, so many of the conspiracy theories may have been well founded.

Even so, the hysteria surrounding Operation Jade Helm 15 seems unusually shrill, with Chuck Norris (ex fake Texas Ranger) urging Texans not to believe government reassurances that it is just an exercise, and Governor Greg Abbott ordering the National Guard to monitor the US military's activities.

So what do Soylentils think? Will conservative Texas, in the words of Freedom Fighter 2127 on YouTube be, "The first state, according to our military source, these are not just drills. Texas will be the first state to be under martial law"?

There are plenty of people willing to point out the lunacy of the conspiracy theorists. Of course, Jon Stewart is one:

"There is no Texas takeover," Stewart said. "The United States government already controls Texas — since like the 1840s. And you left and then you came back. Just borrow a textbook from a neighboring state. It's all in there.

 
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  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Ethanol-fueled on Saturday May 09 2015, @06:48PM

    by Ethanol-fueled (2792) on Saturday May 09 2015, @06:48PM (#180827) Homepage

    Texans like to portray themselves as rebellious and independent, but in fact are by far one of the most authoritarian bootlicking populations in the 'states. If the military ever did invade Texas, they'd be welcomed with open arms and any rebels would be squished like roaches.

    Texas: A whole-lotta nothin'.

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  • (Score: 4, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 09 2015, @11:09PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 09 2015, @11:09PM (#180888)

    Why is that modded Funny? It should be modded Insightful.

    Texas is like the big, brawny man you see at the gym benchpressing 450 lbs, curling 100 lbs in each hand, and squatting 650 lbs. Then after the workout, you see him in the showers and he has a tiny micropenis, and maybe even a shriveled scrotum.

    He may look big and tough, and he may act it, but when it comes down to it he's totally lacking where it really matters.

    • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 09 2015, @11:44PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 09 2015, @11:44PM (#180909)

      That AC has lots of experience checking out men's cocks, apparently. I'm sure you'll find the perfect cock someday little buddy.

    • (Score: 1, Troll) by Runaway1956 on Sunday May 10 2015, @04:16AM

      by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Sunday May 10 2015, @04:16AM (#180978) Journal

      Wow. Just wow. You spend a lot of time examining micro penises in the shower? Which part of California are you from?

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 10 2015, @07:55AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 10 2015, @07:55AM (#181023)

        Which part of California are you from?

        The part that's in Texas.

        • (Score: 3, Touché) by TheRaven on Sunday May 10 2015, @09:11AM

          by TheRaven (270) on Sunday May 10 2015, @09:11AM (#181036) Journal

          Which part of California are you from?

          The part that's in Texas.

          Austin?

          --
          sudo mod me up