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Chechnya's leader Ramzan Kadyrov has urged men to stop their wives from using WhatsApp after anger over a police chief's forced marriage to a 17-year-old spread on the messaging service:
"Lock them in, do not let them go out, then they will not post anything," Ramzan Kadyrov was quoted as saying. Mr Kadyrov had earlier backed a police chief's marriage to a 17-year-old, even though he was already married, in apparent violation of Russian laws. His chief of staff has since proposed legalising polygamy in Chechnya.
Mr Kadyrov, an authoritarian leader and close ally of Russian President Vladimir Putin, has in recent years outlawed the abduction of brides and underage marriage. He is also thought to be in favour of polygamy. His top aide Magomed Daudov said: "It all has to be in keeping with Sharia: But if a man can support more than one wife, then why not?"
Before Saturday's ceremony, local media reported that police chief Nazhud Guchigov, 47, had prevented Kheda Goylabiyeva from leaving her home and threatened her family with reprisals if they did not hand her over.Mr Kadyrov denounced discussion of the marriage on WhatsApp in comments broadcast on local state-run TV. "Stop. Behave like Chechens," he was reported as saying. "The family honour is the most important thing. Do not write such things. Men, do take your women out of WhatsApp." Last week he took to his Instagram account to criticise Russian media coverage of the marriage as "this fuss ordered by some liberals". "The girl's parents gave their blessing to this marriage," he claimed, arguing that reports to the contrary were filled with lies.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by tibman on Friday May 22 2015, @05:52PM
I want a child and my wife doesn't. You are painting with a very wide brush.
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(Score: 2) by lentilla on Friday May 22 2015, @06:29PM
I want a child and my wife doesn't.
Yes... but being married, you're hardly a representative sample of all men? (In the nicest possible way :-) There seems to be an element of "well, I'm married, so now I think some children would be nice". There are a number of factors. Married people often associate with other married people, who quite often end up with children - so you are around babies and children and even that's enough to make a man a little clucky. There's also parents being excited about the possibility of becoming grandparents and even if they don't ask directly, you know they think about it occasionally. Those married friends of yours, now with children, now also have less time to spend with you, and what better way to spend all that extra time that to have a little one of your own? Lastly, there is a certain element of "in for a dime, in for a dollar", so if you wear a wedding band, you might as well maximise your potential and change some nappies.
The grandparent poster; tftp; despite being currently moderated as "troll"; does make a number of valid points. His thesis
I, personally, never met a man who'd be dreaming of marriage.
does have a ring of truth about it. Myself... I have met quite a number of men who have wanted to be married. I'm not so sure he's correct about the marriage part but he'd be spot-on if he was talking about babies. (At least where I live, having children "out of wedlock" is only likely to raise an occasional eyebrow - so "marriage" and "children" don't have to be conflated.)
So, to put my stamp on it: most men I've met aren't particularly fussed about children but most women are. If "the wife" wants children, the husband usually obliges and most seem quite happy. I do know that older, childless men often have considerable regret that they didn't have any children but likewise, older childless women do to. It would be a very rare man that dreamt about babies but such an experience is common amongst women. That's simply how we're wired and nothing to be ashamed of.
(Score: 1) by Noble713 on Saturday May 23 2015, @04:16PM
I want a child and my wife doesn't.
I'm curious. Were you aware of your spouse's differing opinion on children before you got married?
If you *did* know, why did you marry this particular female instead of an alternative (equally attractive, interesting, mentally stable) one? Did you not have sexual access to a variety of unique desirable women?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 23 2015, @04:32PM
> Did you not have sexual access to a variety of unique desirable women?
What kind of freak talks like that?
(Score: 2) by tibman on Sunday May 24 2015, @02:03AM
When we first started dating i wasn't going to dump her because she wasn't sure if she wanted kids or not. She might still change her mind (i hope so). But i married her because we get along so well (still do). Getting married has nothing to do with sex or a perfect significant other, imo. For me it is about trust and companionship.
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(Score: 1) by Noble713 on Sunday May 24 2015, @06:49AM
Getting married has nothing to do with sex or a perfect significant other, imo. For me it is about trust and companionship.
If you had never had sex, ever, with your wife would you still have married her? I'd agree that there is no "perfect" significant other as all people are flawed. I tend to use the "80%" guideline: settle down with a woman who provides 80% of what you are looking for, where the 20% that's missing aren't deal-breakers.
I hope you don't feel like I'm grilling or trolling you. My social circle consists entirely of 1) playboys 2) guys who can't even get a girlfriend 3) a small number of married couples who already have kids.
So I'm genuinely looking for some insight into the decision-making methodology of a male who enters a legally-binding, potentially financially ruinous contract with a female who has a radically different perspective on procreation. Because most of the men I know would absolutely dump her and get another woman (or two). Good companions aren't that hard to find IMO....Loyal ones that you can trust? Slightly more difficult but they aren't unicorns either.
(Score: 2) by tibman on Sunday May 24 2015, @07:18PM
Marriage isn't potentially financial ruin if you get a prenup and marry someone you trust. All benefits and property under my name (bank accounts, cars, houses, stocks, VA, and items purchased from personal accounts) are still mine after a divorce. Same for her. Property under both names is split 50/50 with the option of one person buying out the other (if both agree).
As far as sex goes some people wait until after marriage to have sex. We didn't. We dated for years before getting married. We are both still young and even if we both wanted kids we wouldn't have them just yet. They are certainly on my mind though. She doesn't dislike kids. She doesn't want to birth the things, lol. Worst case, we'll adopt.
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