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posted by janrinok on Friday May 22 2015, @07:35PM   Printer-friendly
from the do-you-want-to-go-bang? dept.

ABC News reports that the Office of the Director of National Intelligence has released a list of English-language material recovered during the raid that killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan in 2011 including one document dubbed "Instructions to Applicants," that would not be entirely out of place for an entry-level position at any American company – except for questions like the one about the applicant's willingness to blow themselves up. The questionnaire includes basic personal details, family history, marital status, and education level. It asks that applicants "answer the required information accurately and truthfully" and, "Please write clearly and legibly." Questions include: Is the applicant expert in chemistry, communications or any other field? Do they have a family member in the government who would cooperate with al Qaeda? Have they received any military training? Finally, it asks what the would-be jihadist would like to accomplish and, "Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?" For the final question, the application asks would-be killers that if they were to become martyrs, who should al Qaeda contact?

The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"

 
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  • (Score: 2) by bob_super on Friday May 22 2015, @09:53PM

    by bob_super (1357) on Friday May 22 2015, @09:53PM (#186680)

    > Awan-Afuqya and Al-Suq Akweer can destroy 1,000 feet of priceless ancient artifacts in 3.5 hours. Awan-Afuqya alone takes 6 hours. How long would it take Al-Suq to do the job alone?

    He will never finish without a chaperone, because the statues have boobs.

    > M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?

    Only the one he just finished. The other four have been efficiently planted near road used by infidels and the occasional innocent goat herder.

    > Divide 80 infidels into 3 groups such that the second group will have as many as the first, and the third will have 5 less than the second.

    5 heads, 5 headless bodies, 0 infidels.

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  • (Score: 2) by Pslytely Psycho on Saturday May 23 2015, @09:41AM

    by Pslytely Psycho (1218) on Saturday May 23 2015, @09:41AM (#186817)

    "> M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?

    Only the one he just finished. The other four have been efficiently planted near road used by infidels and the occasional innocent goat herder."

    I'm so sorry, the answer to this is incorrect, you see,M'Ballz Es-Hari was an under achiever who failed to read the bomb making manual. Instead of a tripwire he used his personal phone for the detonator and when his mother called to invite him to dinner, his lab and four city blocks were completely destroyed, killing only a single infidel aid worker.

    He still gets his virgins, however, due to his stupidity in entering the garden of Allah, the virgins will be Catholic Nuns.....

    --
    Alex Jones lawyer inspires new TV series: CSI Moron Division.