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“Dan” seems at first to perfectly embody that popular object of scorn these days in San Francisco: the privileged tech worker. He’s a developer-turned-manager at a thriving startup, the type of guy you would expect to see dodging protesters at a Google bus stop or evicting low-income tenants in order to build his dream condo. But beyond that veneer of untouchable privilege, there is a soft underbelly. He’s a 40-year-old virgin, and his troubles with women are bad enough that he’s sought out a sex therapist for help.
This is in part a result of techies’ higher-than-average salaries, which allow them to pay for therapy, particularly when it comes to non-traditional counseling that isn’t covered by insurance. There’s something else at play here, though: In general, tech workers are more vulnerable to issues around love and intimacy, according to several local sex therapists I’ve interviewed. The reasons for this are wide-ranging, but in Dan’s particular case, it resulted from being tagged as a prodigy at a young age. He excelled in science and was encouraged to pursue it to the exclusion of all else.
The men, like Dan, who are coming to see her have been hindered by the very thing that allows them to excel in their field. “There is a very strong reinforcement [in tech] on using your brain,” says McGrath. “You brain is what’s of value.” But when it comes to sex, she says, “our brains are bullshit.”
Original Submission
(Score: 2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 01 2015, @03:59AM
Maybe he is too honest for his own good? An effective tech worker learns early on that lying to machines is futile because computers will only follow precise instructions to process actual data according to physical laws. Engineering is about making real things happen in the real world, the laws of physics are unbreakable, and computers are not influenced by deception. In contrast, social interaction occurs in a delusional fantasy world where lies, deceit, and misrepresentation are rewarded with money and sex. Anyone who expects to be able to interact with other people using the same transparent honesty that works with machines is a fool.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Monday June 01 2015, @04:10AM
Huh! That's the G in GIGO.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 01 2015, @04:19AM
With women it works like LILO. Lies In (the ear), Legs Open (for sex).
(Score: 1) by Ethanol-fueled on Monday June 01 2015, @07:05PM
Holy shit, that comment is the most honest thing I've read in awhile.