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posted by martyb on Monday June 01 2015, @12:52AM   Printer-friendly
from the ἔρως-φιλία-ἀγάπη dept.

“Dan” seems at first to perfectly embody that popular object of scorn these days in San Francisco: the privileged tech worker. He’s a developer-turned-manager at a thriving startup, the type of guy you would expect to see dodging protesters at a Google bus stop or evicting low-income tenants in order to build his dream condo. But beyond that veneer of untouchable privilege, there is a soft underbelly. He’s a 40-year-old virgin, and his troubles with women are bad enough that he’s sought out a sex therapist for help.

This is in part a result of techies’ higher-than-average salaries, which allow them to pay for therapy, particularly when it comes to non-traditional counseling that isn’t covered by insurance. There’s something else at play here, though: In general, tech workers are more vulnerable to issues around love and intimacy, according to several local sex therapists I’ve interviewed. The reasons for this are wide-ranging, but in Dan’s particular case, it resulted from being tagged as a prodigy at a young age. He excelled in science and was encouraged to pursue it to the exclusion of all else.

The men, like Dan, who are coming to see her have been hindered by the very thing that allows them to excel in their field. “There is a very strong reinforcement [in tech] on using your brain,” says McGrath. “You brain is what’s of value.” But when it comes to sex, she says, “our brains are bullshit.”


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  • (Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 01 2015, @06:20AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 01 2015, @06:20AM (#190577)

    What a bunch of filthy normies. People who use dating sites, seek love advice from therapists, or do other such things are nothing more than normies. Instead of wasting their time on mundane, pointless relationship garbage, they should use the extra time they're not spending on that snooze fest creating amazing things. Even posting online is more productive. But I suspect these people aren't nerds at all.

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  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 01 2015, @11:55AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 01 2015, @11:55AM (#190654)

    But I suspect these people aren't nerds at all.

    We are at the peak of the social / web 2.0 bubble and the story is about the most bubbly of all areas on the planet, so its statistically likely great grand op from the article heard about great tech jobs where he doesn't have to know much cause they're desperate for people from his football buddy or some guy at a sports bar during a ball game timeout, and has never watched star trek or star wars, read Tolkien, installed Linux, soldered together some electronics, or played DnD, nethack, DF or Minecraft.