Stories
Slash Boxes
Comments

SoylentNews is people

posted by LaminatorX on Friday July 03 2015, @03:24AM   Printer-friendly
from the transition-to-lion-taming dept.

Occupational burnout is a well-known problem within the computer programming industry. While many programmers have experienced it themselves, or at least witnessed it happen to others, few have experienced it as intensely as reddit user Max-P has.

In a comment at reddit, Max-P wrote:

A little over a month ago, only 3 years into the project, I blew up. One day I woke up, sat in front of my computer and broke up in tears. Called the boss to tell him I couldn't work for a few days. To this day I still can't code. I'm not even sure I will ever be able to code again either. For now I'm looking at applying for Walmart for an undetermined amount of time.

Let his tale be one of caution; let it be a lesson to learn from!


Original Submission

NC added: /r/technology at reddit briefly went private. I'm copying the original post here as as an extended message in case it goes down again.

Another part of the problem is that people frequently deliver on unrealistic expectations at the expense of their own health, sanity, and social lives. This reinforces the mindset that sets these expectations in the first place, and sends the message that anyone who objected to the deadlines was just whining.

So. Much. That. I'm currently in a state where I litterally just can't write code. At all. I get dizzy, headaches, I've even cried a few times just at the sight of my text editor. And it's all my fault, because I've set myself the requirements way too high. Producing quality code at a very high speed was my pride. I started working on a project I had a lot of motivation in, and it was a rewrite of an old software. So I knew the requirements, what didn't work and what did. It worked very well, we had a whole webapp ready for beta in 3-4 months, and my boss already had started to sell it. Clients were happy. Even if it wasn't the best code at all, it was pretty solid compared to the old spaguetti we had. I was happy, because the other developers said it was impossible to rewrite the whole thing in any reasonable time to be worth the money. I totally won my bet, delivering new features almost weekly. There was only one problem. I had set absolutely insane expectations, at a ridiculous price while at it because I was 18 and was barely out of school, so it was a great opportunity for me. Developement speed slowed down considerably. Projects piled up, but it was fine, I didn't have much pressure anyway, just a pile of work for the next 5 years. Eventually I requested to have a second developer to help me: but of course, at both that price tag and the requirements, they all got fired right away because management felt it was ripped off. Which at the time didn't realize and agreed with: they indeed seemed slow to me, and the code quality was terrible. I ended up being the sysadmin of two servers and several VMs, the network between them, manage all the monitoring/configuration/backups, work on two webapps (both desktop and mobile) + their backend + the matching mobile apps. I also had to QA the whole thing myself because the boss would only test once it was pushed to production to ensure there were no bugs at this point (despite me setting up several staging areas specifically for that, with a fresh copy of the live data). All in all, that's over a dozen programming languages and 3 different databases. I also did tech support once in a while (and add specific workarounds to bypass work proxies for some of our clients, because our app had to work everywhere according to management). And I was the only one that could understand and manage all of that. We didn't have any backup resources in case I wasn't reachable. A little over a month ago, only 3 years into the project, I blew up. One day I woke up, sat in front of my computer and broke up in tears. Called the boss to tell him I couldn't work for a few days. To this day I still can't code. I'm not even sure I will ever be able to code again either. For now I'm looking at applying for Walmart for an undetermined amount of time. Burnout is serious matter.

 
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.
Display Options Threshold/Breakthrough Mark All as Read Mark All as Unread
The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
  • (Score: 5, Interesting) by NCommander on Friday July 03 2015, @04:58AM

    by NCommander (2) Subscriber Badge <michael@casadevall.pro> on Friday July 03 2015, @04:58AM (#204549) Homepage Journal

    I left engineering and information technology after burning out very badly, although I was on a downward spiral even before I got involved in SoylentNews. Looking back, I'm honestly not sure how I managed to do half the shit I've done, but if it wasn't for the rest of the staff, I'd probably gone to pieces trying to keep this project alive. As it stands, I find myself completely unable to work in the field with the sole exception of coding on rehash, and some random Dwarf Fortress modding. A lot of it is that no matter where I've worked, there's rarely a sense of having others have your back, or team; the entire industry feels like a meat grinder to me, to the point that I don't think I can ever work in a corporate environment again. At previous jobs, I'd put hours of work just to see it discarded, or being unable to reason with those in charge. As a firefighter, I always remember being treated human, and while the people we pulled out of cars weren't always happy to see us, I always knew my crew had my back. I can never remember anything similar working in IT/engineering.

    While we're technically incorporated, what I do on rehash is mostly for myself, and what I want to do for the community, and while by lines of code, I'm probably the most active dev, I always know that Paul, TheMightyBuzzard, Bytram, and everyone else have my back if I need to bail out, and I'm not judged by my previous failures. No need to live up to a constant, and IMHO, impossible standard of perfection which seems omnipresent in the corporate world. I'm not constantly a gear in a machine to make others look better, or put money in someones pocket doing (IMHO) unethical work, or inane coding and development practices, such as having to remove X lines of code for the amount you wanted to commit, including comments. I'd like to think my leadership of the project, combined with avoiding those pitfalls has helped to make SN what it is today.

    Anyway, after some soul searching, I left Anchorage and returned to Rochester, went back to school, and got my EMT-Basic certification. Longer term, I plan to renew my firefighting credentials and get my paramedic certification and perhaps land a job as a carrier firefighter. I just put in my resume for Rural/Metro Rochester to work on an ambulance, and have no intention to returning to my previous line of work, at least not under someone else's management. The pay isn't great, but money can't bring happiness or satisfaction.

    --
    Still always moving
    Starting Score:    1  point
    Moderation   +4  
       Interesting=4, Total=4
    Extra 'Interesting' Modifier   0  
    Karma-Bonus Modifier   +1  

    Total Score:   5  
  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Kell on Friday July 03 2015, @06:17AM

    by Kell (292) on Friday July 03 2015, @06:17AM (#204569)

    What you do is important and helps people. Sometimes it may not feel like anything we do matters, but it does - even if only to the few people around us who are close enough to see it. A lot of people fall into the trap of imagining that they aren't important and that nobody cares. There are few people for who that could be true.

    --
    Scientists ask questions. Engineers solve problems.
    • (Score: 4, Touché) by NCommander on Friday July 03 2015, @06:31AM

      by NCommander (2) Subscriber Badge <michael@casadevall.pro> on Friday July 03 2015, @06:31AM (#204578) Homepage Journal

      I need to code in a "Thanks" moderation for this ...

      --
      Still always moving
      • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Friday July 03 2015, @03:34PM

        by Gaaark (41) on Friday July 03 2015, @03:34PM (#204753) Journal

        "Thanks", NCommander, for all you do, and all those behind you.

        Did that sound gay to you?
        (Damn... What show/movie is that from?)

        --
        --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
  • (Score: 2) by RedBear on Friday July 03 2015, @10:02AM

    by RedBear (1734) on Friday July 03 2015, @10:02AM (#204641)

    I've got your back, fellow human.

    Not exactly sure how, but it's the thought that counts, right? ;-P

    Whenever the site has issues I don't worry about it too much. I just think, "NCommander and his crack team are working on it. Must be an important new upgrade. It will be back soon."

    Everything you've done here has been outstanding and very much appreciated. Thanks very much for your contributions and best of luck on your EMT and/or Firefighter career.

    --
    ¯\_ʕ◔.◔ʔ_/¯ LOL. I dunno. I'm just a bear.
    ... Peace out. Got bear stuff to do. 彡ʕ⌐■.■ʔ
  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by purple_cobra on Friday July 03 2015, @11:12AM

    by purple_cobra (1435) on Friday July 03 2015, @11:12AM (#204658)

    Good luck with the change of career. And isn't passing on a scratch for a personal itch what make FOSS work? The analogy needs some fettling, but you know what I mean.
    I _did_ have a meltdown (former sysadmin) and spent a number of years out of work because of it. Where I work now, in the public sector, is becoming increasingly stressful (the organisation has money issues and to save money they're...getting rid of some low paid staff, something that will save maybe 0.5% of the inadvisable debt the organisation toils under), though it has given me quite a lot of job satisfaction until fairly recently. We are being crushed by unattainable targets, and changes to how things get done make those targets even less attainable. There are also far too many shiny arsed seat polishers and not enough people doing what needs to be done. The latest ruse is "values based recruiting", i.e. people who can bullshit belief in the stupid catchword slogan are more valued than people who are qualified to do their job.
    At this rate we'll be bankrupt inside of 3 years, so I've reluctantly started looking for alternative employment.

  • (Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Friday July 03 2015, @12:44PM

    by Phoenix666 (552) on Friday July 03 2015, @12:44PM (#204678) Journal

    I am deep in the middle of burnout myself. Four years ago I threw myself into a project mind, body, and soul. I worked on it 16 hours a day and built mountains--it felt like half of the Himalayas. My coding partner was working on the other half. We got it done, and took it in front of potential angel investors, and in the middle of the meeting my coding partner started behaving oddly, replying to things that hadn't been said, responding to innocuous statements with extreme paranoia. The investors looked like they were in the room with the girl from the Exorcist. I hurriedly shut down the meeting and took him out of there. I took him back to the hotel, but he wandered off.

    I didn't know what to do so I managed to find his parents' number and called them. His mother answered and after listening to the symptoms told me he was severely bipolar and had been off his medication for a year. I freaked out. I immediately locked him out of our systems and started reviewing our code base. Everything he had written was an insane pile of spaghetti code and had to be completely ripped out and re-written. It was shattering.

    I have found it extremely hard to code since. I love technology, and the urge to create is still there. But the moment I sit down to code, I get flashbacks and paralysis sets in.

    I hope to be able to rehabilitate with small scale projects like helping out with rehash. I want to code again and want to help SN. Hoping that's enough to get me past the past.

    --
    Washington DC delenda est.
  • (Score: 2) by iamjacksusername on Friday July 03 2015, @01:23PM

    by iamjacksusername (1479) on Friday July 03 2015, @01:23PM (#204691)

    After 15 years in IT, I am taking off for the next year or so. Just going to travel. Realistically, I probably won't come back.

    While I have not broken down in front of my text editor, I know I'm finished. I already bought my one-way plane ticket and mentally checked out.

    I'm done with backup logs.
    I'm done with flapping interfaces.
    I'm done with customers with 30 years out of date technical expertise telling me how to do my job.
    I'm done with "my nephew can do this why do you charge so much".
    I'm done with "well the security company had their technical guy..."
    I'm done with exe installers that haven't been updated since 2005.
    I'm done with "why isn't DRS working this time"
    I'm done with "yes, you have to pay for software..."
    I'm done with weekends lost for pointless technical changes for companies that no longer exist.

    I have been doing this for 15 years and I honestly couldn't care less about anything I did. I feel no sense of accomplishment. I am good at what I do but, when you don't even care about what you do, does that even matter?

    So, I get it. I know I am finished. I wonder how many other tech refugees there will be a in a few years when this current tech bubble collapses. When, the fresh hires become too expensive so they are replaced with outsourced armies of low-wage workers. All those late night, half-day holidays because someone had to be on-call, missed events because "change management says do this on the weekend". Will they look back and think it was worth it?

    I know that answer for me.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 03 2015, @03:06PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday July 03 2015, @03:06PM (#204738)

    A lot of it is that no matter where I've worked, there's rarely a sense of having others have your back, or team; the entire industry feels like a meat grinder to me

    That's America for you. Everyone is only looking out for themselves and how to exploit others for personal profit. What you feel is by no means unique, its to be expected from being submerged in an economic system built on greed, selfishness, and exploitation thats been left to fester unchecked for hundreds of years.

  • (Score: 1) by Frost on Saturday July 04 2015, @03:48AM

    by Frost (3313) on Saturday July 04 2015, @03:48AM (#204922)

    You're doing great work here, NC. It's amazing how much better this site works than Slashdot, and how quickly you've been able to improve it with essentially no downtime. You'd be one of my top picks for a secret superhero coding team.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 04 2015, @06:38PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 04 2015, @06:38PM (#205076)

    I was once mistaken for an EMT when i was in Rochester. I was wearing blue cargo pants, and someone asked me am i an EMT. I said no, but she said yes i am, so i just said no i am not. I didn't even know what an EMT was at that time, because i'm not from USA. I had to ask. I was there on a business trip. Do i win a cookie NC?