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posted by martyb on Monday July 20 2015, @02:17AM   Printer-friendly
from the the-lies-that-bind dept.

Janet N. Cook, a church secretary in Virginia, had been a widow for a decade when she joined an Internet dating site and was quickly overcome by a rush of emails, phone calls and plans for a face-to-face visit. "I'm not stupid, but I was totally naïve," says Cook, now 76, who was swept off her feet by a man who called himself Kelvin Wells and described himself as a middle-aged German businessman looking for someone "confident" and "outspoken" to travel with him to places like Italy, his "dream destination." But very soon he began describing various troubles, including being hospitalized in Ghana, where he had gone on business, and asked Cook to bail him out. In all, she sent him nearly $300,000, as he apparently followed a well-honed script that online criminals use to bilk members of dating sites out of tens of millions of dollars a year.

The New York Times reports that internet scammers are targeting women in their 50s and 60s, often retired and living alone, who say that the email and phone wooing forms a bond that may not be physical but that is intense and enveloping. Between July 1 and Dec. 31, 2014, nearly 6,000 people registered complaints of such confidence fraud with losses of $82.3 million, according to the federal Internet Crime Complaint Center.

Older people are ideal targets because they often have accumulated savings over a lifetime, own their homes and are susceptible to being deceived by someone intent on fraud. The digital version of the romance con is now sufficiently widespread that AARP's Fraud Watch Network has urged online dating sites to institute more safeguards to protect against such fraud. The AARP network recommends that dating site members use Google's "search by image" to see if the suitor's picture appears on other sites with different names. If an email from "a potential suitor seems suspicious, cut and paste it into Google and see if the words pop up on any romance scam sites," the network advised. The website romancescams.org lists red flags to look for to identify such predators, who urgently appeal to victims for money to cover financial setbacks like unexpected fines, money lost to robbery or unpaid wages.

Most victims say they are embarrassed to admit what happened and they fear that revealing it will bring derision from their family and friends, who will question their judgment and even their ability to handle their own financial affairs."It makes me sound so stupid, but he would be calling me in the evening and at night. It felt so real. We had plans to go to the Bahamas and to Bermuda together," says Louise Brown. "When I found out it was a scam, I felt so betrayed. I kept it secret from my family for two years, but it's an awful thing to carry around. But later I sent him a message and said I forgave him."

 
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  • (Score: 2) by Subsentient on Monday July 20 2015, @05:05AM

    by Subsentient (1111) on Monday July 20 2015, @05:05AM (#211289) Homepage Journal

    I've known about this. My grandmother lost half a million dollars and became broke because she was repeatedly scammed over and over with fake "you won the lottery" things. They'd just ask for a mere $10,000 for processing, and then, just keep the money. She had dementia and a gambling addiction, so she lost virtually everything to these monsters.

    I'd string these pricks up by their nuts with a fishing hook at the nearest wal-mart flag pole.

    --
    "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
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  • (Score: 2) by captain normal on Monday July 20 2015, @05:41AM

    by captain normal (2205) on Monday July 20 2015, @05:41AM (#211298)

    All I c an say to this is, you and your parents should have been closer to your grandmother to prevent this kind of thing. Of course that's easy for me to say even though I and my 13 cousins let someone scam us and our aunt out of 3.5 million US $. We wound up with around 30 K US$ each.

    --
    When life isn't going right, go left.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 20 2015, @05:57AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 20 2015, @05:57AM (#211299)

      Ive dealt with two people in my life, one who had a gambling addiction, and the other, dementia. I cannot imagine the chaos, much less stress involved if you put those two afflictions into the same individual, and combined that with a large nest egg, which the family probably had no control over.

      The gambler routinely stole from loved ones, and hawked family heirlooms. The demented one thought everyone was out to kill her (especially doctors), and eventually took to impatiently, and often loudly waiting on her front porch for Obama's election bus to swing around and pick her up at all hours of the day and night.

      Sorry GP, that's a fucked up situation to be involved with. I'd want to string some scammers up as well.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 20 2015, @06:36AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 20 2015, @06:36AM (#211309)

        Ive dealt with two people in my life, one who had a gambling addiction, and the other, dementia.

        You should get out more, meet some new people! Perhaps a dating service could be right for you! Call now, hookers and scammers are standing by.

    • (Score: 2) by lentilla on Monday July 20 2015, @06:09AM

      by lentilla (1770) on Monday July 20 2015, @06:09AM (#211303)

      How exactly does one stay close to the cheque-book of an aging relative? There are three kinds of people that do that: controlling types (preventing elderly people from financial agency), family members out to scam, and of course, family members that care and are doing their best to help. The first two are examples of elder abuse and the second is healthy concern. Sadly it's hard to tell the difference - especially with diminishing mental faculties, or with the paranoia that is often part of the process.

      I can honestly say I am not looking forward to this period in my life where I have to keep an eye on aging relatives without overstepping bounds (or being suspected of such in their eyes). Nor do I look forward to the day when I; in turn; have to trust others with things that are so simple for me today.

      • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Hairyfeet on Monday July 20 2015, @09:01AM

        by Hairyfeet (75) <{bassbeast1968} {at} {gmail.com}> on Monday July 20 2015, @09:01AM (#211341) Journal

        You have to be willing to "be the bastard" in their eyes, like it or not. I recently lost my father and I'm paying to have my mother's will written up....does she like this? No she does not (she hates talk of such things) but I refuse to let it drop because she has property she wants to go to her grandkids so I'm willing to "be the bastard" and let her stay pissed at me so long as it gets done.

        At the end of the day you simply have to face the facts which are 1.- they are old, 2.- the mind breaks down,causing even the most cynical to become more trusting (and thus easily ripped off) and 3.- Its your job as a member of their family to proptect them when they can no longer protect themselves. Sometimes to do that you have to let them hate you, just remember its for their own well being and be willing to be the bastard if you have to.

        --
        ACs are never seen so don't bother. Always ready to show SJWs for the racists they are.
        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 20 2015, @09:10PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 20 2015, @09:10PM (#211583)

          Its your job as a member of their family to proptect them when they can no longer protect themselves.

          So which GNU/Linux distro does your mom run?

    • (Score: 2) by Subsentient on Monday July 20 2015, @09:36AM

      by Subsentient (1111) on Monday July 20 2015, @09:36AM (#211349) Homepage Journal

      We were there for her at least twice a week. We talked every day. Mom didn't have the heart to take power of attorney, because she knew it'd break grammaw's heart. So we watched in horror how she never listened to any of us, and threw out $500,000.

      --
      "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti