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SoylentNews is people

posted by janrinok on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:08AM   Printer-friendly [Skip to comment(s)]
from the this-should-never-be-seen dept.
janrinok writes "A little light-hearted relief:

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

More humour can be found at bash.org"
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  • (Score: 1) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:19AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:19AM (#7857)

    Is two articles previous.

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:20AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:20AM (#7858)

    Maybe this shouldn't have been released. It looks like it was for training only.

    • (Score: 5, Funny) by nobbis on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:23AM

      by nobbis (62) on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:23AM (#7860) Homepage Journal

      true, buts it's funny, about tech and not a dupe, so beating most /. submissions already

      --
      It's easy to look up when your mind's in the gutter
      • (Score: 2) by mrbluze on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:30AM

        by mrbluze (49) on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:30AM (#7862) Journal

        Yeah I laughed at it. But also the other articles today have been fantastic, and the comments! Whoa! Highly recommended reading.

        --
        Do it yourself, 'cause no one else will do it yourself.
      • (Score: 1) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:37AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:37AM (#7881)

        it's not a dupe, but a rehash of the jokes everybody already knows.

        but anyhow, does Soylentnews have an acronym like "/."? "SN" or "SNiP"? or just a S like the favicon?

        • (Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:01AM

          by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:01AM (#7888)

          does Soylentnews have an acronym like "/."? "SN" or "SNiP"? or just a S like the favicon?

          How about 'Oylentnew'? (Because the S is soylent)
          Ugh, I embarrass myself.

          • (Score: 1) by bucc5062 on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:20PM

            by bucc5062 (699) on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:20PM (#7904)

            Thank you very much, now I have to clean off my screen. You must be from Brooklyn

            --
            The more things change, the more they look the same
          • (Score: 1) by EvilJim on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:45PM

            by EvilJim (2501) on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:45PM (#8114) Journal

            yeah, that was brilliant, I usually don't lol, but I lol'ed

        • (Score: 2) by mcgrew on Thursday February 27 2014, @03:13PM

          by mcgrew (701) <publish@mcgrewbooks.com> on Thursday February 27 2014, @03:13PM (#7989) Homepage Journal

          I'm partial to S/N because of the double meaning.

          --
          Free Martian whores! [mcgrewbooks.com]
          • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @03:40PM

            by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @03:40PM (#8007)

            What [wikipedia.org] double [wikipedia.org] meaning are you talking about?

            • (Score: 1) by TK on Thursday February 27 2014, @07:09PM

              by TK (2760) on Thursday February 27 2014, @07:09PM (#8088)

              Clearly it's a play on the abbreviation of Senegal, but only true fans will get the joke.

              Speaking of which, has soylentnews.sn been registered...?

              --
              The fleas have smaller fleas, upon their backs to bite them, and those fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum
          • (Score: 1) by EvilJim on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:42PM

            by EvilJim (2501) on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:42PM (#8112) Journal

            Signal to Noise ratio?

      • (Score: 5, Funny) by c0lo on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:52AM

        by c0lo (156) on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:52AM (#7897) Journal

        true, butt is fanny

        FTFY

        --
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
    • (Score: 3, Interesting) by fotonix on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:34AM

      by fotonix (2922) on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:34AM (#7865) Homepage

      This looks SO much like the final paper for my Computer Degree from the University of Easter Island (Nigeria Campus, payments by Western Union to Prof I.Ripov based in Belarus)

      Actually, this made my day after "one of those days".. more like two such days in a row. Thanks for putting a smile back on my face!

      --
      Over-thought solutions get over-engineered and miss the user's requirements.
      • (Score: 3, Funny) by nobbis on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:41AM

        by nobbis (62) on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:41AM (#7869) Homepage Journal

        did you pass ?

        --
        It's easy to look up when your mind's in the gutter
    • (Score: 2) by FatPhil on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:32PM

      by FatPhil (863) <{pc-soylent} {at} {asdf.fi}> on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:32PM (#7909) Homepage
      But is hasn't been released:

      "posted by on Thursday February 27, @09:08AM"

      If it hasn't been posted by anyone, then clearly it hasn't been posted. Which is good, as it means you won't have to waste your time reading my reply, which also I didn't post.
      --
      Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
      • (Score: 3, Funny) by janrinok on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:26PM

        by janrinok (52) Subscriber Badge on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:26PM (#7956) Journal

        Thanks for that, FatPhil. It was the result of a mistake, but I take some small pleasure in looking at the number of comments it has received. There are other sites which would welcome that level of a response!

        --
        We are always looking for new staff in different areas - please volunteer if you have some spare time and wish to help
  • (Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:36AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:36AM (#7867)

    OMG SoylentNews has been exposed. This top secret document shows the evil tactics of the rebels. Humor! Oh noes!

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by mrwizrd on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:54AM

    by mrwizrd (2299) on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:54AM (#7874)

    ...needs more training.

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by janrinok on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:13AM

      by janrinok (52) Subscriber Badge on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:13AM (#7877) Journal

      That's what I was trying to achieve. :[

      --
      We are always looking for new staff in different areas - please volunteer if you have some spare time and wish to help
      • (Score: 1) by mrwizrd on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:57AM

        by mrwizrd (2299) on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:57AM (#7884)

        That's okay 3 I got a laugh out of it anyway :)

        • (Score: 1) by mrwizrd on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:00AM

          by mrwizrd (2299) on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:00AM (#7887)

          ... Hmm. Somehow managed to get a "3" in my reply. I guess I'm the one who needs more training!

          • (Score: 2) by unitron on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:36AM

            by unitron (70) on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:36AM (#7894) Journal

            I remember who played #2, and who played #6, of course, but who played #3?

            --
            something something Slashcott something something Beta something something
            • (Score: 1) by Ryuugami on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:30PM

              by Ryuugami (2925) on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:30PM (#7907)

              Yes, but what I want to know is...
              Who's on first, dammit.

              --
              If a shit storm's on the horizon, it's good to know far enough ahead you can at least bring along an umbrella. - D.Weber
              • (Score: 2) by unitron on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:49PM

                by unitron (70) on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:49PM (#7943) Journal

                Yes, he is, but you don't have to swear about it.

                And didn't you also have a question?

                --
                something something Slashcott something something Beta something something
  • (Score: 2, Funny) by crutchy on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:43AM

    by crutchy (179) on Thursday February 27 2014, @10:43AM (#7882) Homepage Journal

    and how do i subscribe to your newsletter?

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:06AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 27 2014, @11:06AM (#7889)

    -----http://www.bash.org/?835030-----

    <Khassaki> HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> try pressing the the Caps Lock key
    <Khassaki> O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
    <Judge-Mental> fuck me

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by SlimmPickens on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:13PM

    by SlimmPickens (1056) on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:13PM (#7902)

    A Byte walks into a bar.
    The barman says "what's wrong?"
    The Byte says "oh, parity error".
    The barman says "I thought you looked a bit off".

    • (Score: 4, Funny) by Ryuugami on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:44PM

      by Ryuugami (2925) on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:44PM (#7917)

      (This one's architecture dependent, but whatever.)

      Eight bytes walk into a bar.

      The barman asks, "Can I get you anything?"

      "Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."

      --
      If a shit storm's on the horizon, it's good to know far enough ahead you can at least bring along an umbrella. - D.Weber
      • (Score: 1) by tangomargarine on Thursday February 27 2014, @04:40PM

        by tangomargarine (667) on Thursday February 27 2014, @04:40PM (#8039)

        After which, due to a misunderstanding, the bartender beats the hell out of them.

        "Oops...I thought you meant a double [wikipedia.org] ."

        --
        "Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
    • (Score: 3, Funny) by denmarkw00t on Thursday February 27 2014, @04:46PM

      by denmarkw00t (2877) on Thursday February 27 2014, @04:46PM (#8043)

      A SQL statement walks into a bar. He walks up to two tables and asks "May I join you?"

      A SQL injection attack walks into a bar and starts to order a drink; suddenly, he stops mid-sentence and starts dropping tables left and right.

      What's a PHP paternity test? preg_match

      Why doesn't anyone use ksh? gesundheit

      --
      buck feta
  • (Score: 3, Informative) by LaminatorX on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:26PM

    by LaminatorX (14) <laminatorxNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:26PM (#7906)

    I could make this go away, but I'm inclined to let it stand. It has a certain earnest charm.

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by Ryuugami on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:39PM

    by Ryuugami (2925) on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:39PM (#7916)

    There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

    ... and those who know it's actually a trinary joke :)

    --
    If a shit storm's on the horizon, it's good to know far enough ahead you can at least bring along an umbrella. - D.Weber
  • (Score: 5, Funny) by martyb on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:57PM

    by martyb (76) Subscriber Badge on Thursday February 27 2014, @12:57PM (#7920) Journal

    Just noticed that there was no author listed for this story??!?

    Posted by on Thursday February 27, @04:08AM

    and when I look at it using View Source, I see:

    posted by <a href=""></a>
    on Thursday February 27, @04:08AM

    I find humorous that "noone" has a sense of humor! ;^)

    --
    Wit is intellect, dancing.
    • (Score: 3, Interesting) by nukkel on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:13PM

      by nukkel (168) on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:13PM (#7926)

      In Belgium, there are people having a single-character last name ("O") and they have serious problems e.g. booking an airline ticket.

      Imagine what life would be like if your name were the empty string ;)

      • (Score: 2) by martyb on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:24PM

        by martyb (76) Subscriber Badge on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:24PM (#7933) Journal

        nukkel (168) wrote:

        In Belgium, there are people having a single-character last name ("O") and they have serious problems e.g. booking an airline ticket.

        Imagine what life would be like if your name were the empty string ;)

        It's obvious! There would be no problem! ;^)

        --
        Wit is intellect, dancing.
  • (Score: 2, Informative) by Drake_Edgewater on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:32PM

    by Drake_Edgewater (780) on Thursday February 27 2014, @01:32PM (#7937) Journal

    Here is number one [youtube.com]. Laugh.

  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Snotnose on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:34PM

    by Snotnose (1623) on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:34PM (#7959)

    Several years ago it was one of the sites I checked daily. But it seems to have died, updates are few and far between (think years, not weeks).

    But if you've never been there spend some time with it, there is a lot of comedy gold.

    --
    I hate when I put something off to tomorrow, and tomorrow arrives.
    • (Score: 3, Informative) by len_harms on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:49PM

      by len_harms (1904) on Thursday February 27 2014, @02:49PM (#7971) Journal

      Yeah their updates have gone way down. QDB http://www.qdb.us/ [www.qdb.us] was pretty good too at one point. Though it seems people post back and forth on them so you get quite a large number of duplicates.

      Latest feeds are your best bet on both sites.

      • (Score: 2, Informative) by nitehawk214 on Thursday February 27 2014, @05:23PM

        by nitehawk214 (1304) on Thursday February 27 2014, @05:23PM (#8057)

        The latest feed on bash.org has not been updated in over a year. I think its dead, Jim.

        --
        "Don't you ever miss the days when you used to be nostalgic?" -Loiosh
        • (Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Thursday February 27 2014, @07:02PM

          by maxwell demon (1608) on Thursday February 27 2014, @07:02PM (#8085) Journal

          The latest feed on bash.org has not been updated in over a year. I think its dead, Jim.

          Did Netcraft confirm it?

          --
          The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
        • (Score: 1) by EvilJim on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:00PM

          by EvilJim (2501) on Thursday February 27 2014, @09:00PM (#8117) Journal

          agreed

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by Serial_Priest on Thursday February 27 2014, @05:35PM

    by Serial_Priest (2493) <accusingangelNO@SPAMautistici.org> on Thursday February 27 2014, @05:35PM (#8065)

    This article made me want to put on my robe and wizard hat.

  • (Score: 2, Funny) by tlezer on Thursday February 27 2014, @06:10PM

    by tlezer (708) on Thursday February 27 2014, @06:10PM (#8072)

    There are two types of people in this world. Those who can make sense of incomplete data...

  • (Score: 5, Interesting) by Adrian Harvey on Thursday February 27 2014, @06:18PM

    by Adrian Harvey (222) on Thursday February 27 2014, @06:18PM (#8075)

    I hearby propose "FOR TRAINING ONLY - do not release!" as the catch-all option in all polls from here forward! It's just too good a thing to waste on one single article....

    • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:38PM

      by Gaaark (41) on Thursday February 27 2014, @08:38PM (#8111) Journal

      Yes! The new Cowboy Neal!

      +1 Karma for poutine! XD

      --
      --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
    • (Score: 1) by basecase on Friday February 28 2014, @03:59AM

      by basecase (1952) on Friday February 28 2014, @03:59AM (#8255)

      I agree. Take that CowboyNeal.