ABC News reports that the Office of the Director of National Intelligence has released a list of English-language material recovered during the raid that killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan in 2011 including one document dubbed "Instructions to Applicants," that would not be entirely out of place for an entry-level position at any American company – except for questions like the one about the applicant's willingness to blow themselves up. The questionnaire includes basic personal details, family history, marital status, and education level. It asks that applicants "answer the required information accurately and truthfully" and, "Please write clearly and legibly." Questions include: Is the applicant expert in chemistry, communications or any other field? Do they have a family member in the government who would cooperate with al Qaeda? Have they received any military training? Finally, it asks what the would-be jihadist would like to accomplish and, "Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?" For the final question, the application asks would-be killers that if they were to become martyrs, who should al Qaeda contact?
The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"
(Score: 1) by plover on Friday May 22 2015, @07:54PM
While reading this the hiring scene from Blazing Saddles seemed to fit quite well
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Megahard on Friday May 22 2015, @07:59PM
Here's the link to the actual document
http://www.dni.gov/files/documents/ubl/english/Instructions%20to%20Applicants.pdf [dni.gov]
Like many other applications, it also asks about any convictions or jail time. But not clear in this case if that's a positive or negative qualification.
(Score: 2) by The Archon V2.0 on Friday May 22 2015, @08:15PM
> Like many other applications, it also asks about any convictions or jail time. But not clear in this case if that's a positive or negative qualification.
I suspect it depends on the nature of the offense.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 22 2015, @08:18PM
That link was already in the news story; it's "hidden" in the sentence starting with "It asks that applicants "answer the required information ...."
(Score: 2) by JeanCroix on Tuesday May 26 2015, @01:51PM
(Score: 4, Funny) by Snotnose on Friday May 22 2015, @08:07PM
Al-Faruq has 12 sticks of dynamite in his vest. El-waqui has 4 packs of C4. They trade 3 sticks of dynamite for 1 pack of C4.
a) Did Al-Faruq's vest weight go up or down?
b) How many infidels can each send to hell when you're a martyr?
When the dust settled America realized it was saved by a porn star.
(Score: 2) by Megahard on Friday May 22 2015, @08:17PM
You have two unmarked containers. One holds 5 liters, the other 3 liters. How do you measure out exactly 4 liters of gunpowder?
(Score: 2) by Snotnose on Friday May 22 2015, @09:39PM
Awan-Afuqya and Al-Suq Akweer can destroy 1,000 feet of priceless ancient artifacts in 3.5 hours. Awan-Afuqya alone takes 6 hours. How long would it take Al-Suq to do the job alone?
M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?
Divide 80 infidels into 3 groups such that the second group will have as many as the first, and the third will have 5 less than the second.
When the dust settled America realized it was saved by a porn star.
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Friday May 22 2015, @09:53PM
> Awan-Afuqya and Al-Suq Akweer can destroy 1,000 feet of priceless ancient artifacts in 3.5 hours. Awan-Afuqya alone takes 6 hours. How long would it take Al-Suq to do the job alone?
He will never finish without a chaperone, because the statues have boobs.
> M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?
Only the one he just finished. The other four have been efficiently planted near road used by infidels and the occasional innocent goat herder.
> Divide 80 infidels into 3 groups such that the second group will have as many as the first, and the third will have 5 less than the second.
5 heads, 5 headless bodies, 0 infidels.
(Score: 2) by Pslytely Psycho on Saturday May 23 2015, @09:41AM
"> M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?
Only the one he just finished. The other four have been efficiently planted near road used by infidels and the occasional innocent goat herder."
I'm so sorry, the answer to this is incorrect, you see,M'Ballz Es-Hari was an under achiever who failed to read the bomb making manual. Instead of a tripwire he used his personal phone for the detonator and when his mother called to invite him to dinner, his lab and four city blocks were completely destroyed, killing only a single infidel aid worker.
He still gets his virgins, however, due to his stupidity in entering the garden of Allah, the virgins will be Catholic Nuns.....
Alex Jones lawyer inspires new TV series: CSI Moron Division.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by looorg on Friday May 22 2015, @08:16PM
I don't see how this could really be all that surprising. After all, some of, these organizations control or have access to, many, thousands of members. That is somewhat beyond what most people can memorize so some form of bureaucracy is needed. But much like in many other organizations most of the applicants are probably just standard cannon-fodder filling low skill position that are replaceable by whatever next applicant happens to come by next -- the amount of (medical-) doctors or chemical engineers applying is probably not staggering. So it would be nice to know which these special skill-set people are and set them aside for your bigger goals.
So just like any business (even if yours is terror and death) they like to know your special skills and then see how those fit into their plans and how they can best utilize your skill set to further their own goals. Looking thru the document translated by the DNI a lot of the questions tie into each-other. Even the once regarding your willingness to become a suicide bomber. The questions they ask makes a lot of sense from their point of view such as level of education (ability to learn new and abstract things and also which form of persuasion or manipulation might be used upon you), if you know prominent people or have government contacts that are willing to aid since that will or could provide more targets or access to targets (and aid), family members so they know whom to inform when you die and also if they have some kinda of death benefit plan whom should receive the payout.
Checking the box for suicide-bomber tho is probably not the main recruitment goal for that type of people since I do assume it takes a certain type to commit those kinds of acts, plus your employment period would be drastically short and end with a bang.
(Score: 3, Funny) by bob_super on Friday May 22 2015, @09:03PM
You mean, they'd need a database. Maybe they should have thought of this. I'll shoot an e-mail to them.
How do you say "the base" in Arabic?
(Score: 3, Funny) by looorg on Friday May 22 2015, @09:08PM
A single database? Why think so small. I'm sure there is an amazing SAP solution they could install that would solve all their problems and needs ... once they get it running.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Pslytely Psycho on Saturday May 23 2015, @09:44AM
"Checking the box for suicide-bomber tho is probably not the main recruitment goal for that type of people since I do assume it takes a certain type to commit those kinds of acts, plus your employment period would be drastically short and end with a bang."
Not to mention it's quite difficult to list any successful prior experience.
Alex Jones lawyer inspires new TV series: CSI Moron Division.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 22 2015, @08:27PM
Story sounds like more propaganda to make us believe an enemy exists.
More likely this is all just made up.
What does the application for the US military look like?
Mass-murdering innocent people?
Not a problem heh?
(Score: 2) by looorg on Friday May 22 2015, @08:33PM
http://www.goarmy.com/learn/apply.html [goarmy.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 22 2015, @10:26PM
Especially how they had this for years and it just so happens to be released after Hersh released a very different account. One that has been confirmed by other main stream press using their own sources. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seymour_Hersh#Death_of_Osama_bin_Laden [wikipedia.org] for starters or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8A2kX7Z34o [youtube.com] for a more opinionated version.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Friday May 22 2015, @11:52PM
they kept meticulous records of the people they murdered. I saw a documentary where an investigator showed off the records of the murder of a teenage boy.
"Sure they were murderers, but they were a bureaucracy of murderers."
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by cafebabe on Saturday May 23 2015, @05:26AM
Well, it looks like my joke about the afterlife gets another outing [soylentnews.org].
1702845791×2